Welcome to the Lazy Girl’s Guide to rocking your man’s socks off with the best blowjob he’s ever had (besides the one you gave him last Thursday).
This article goes beyond typical blowjob tips to something even better: a complete guide on giving blowjobs that don’t require much work on your part but still feel so incredible for him that he insists on making you eggs and bringing you your morning coffee in bed the next day.
That’s right - a blowjob that makes him quite literally beg for more, requires little to no work and breakfast in bed the next morning as a thank you for your skills.
The first thing that you need to do is to forget everything you thought you knew about giving head. This isn’t a chore, it’s not something you have to pull out on his birthday, it’s not something that needs to be difficult...it’s something that can be fun, passionate, erotic and even something you look forward to (hear me out).
Incorporate it into your regular sex life.
Giving your man amazing head is such a great experience for both of you and can play into whatever BDSM dynamic you have going.
Dominance:
Even though it seems like you’re being submissive, if you think about it, the balls are in your court (or face, actually) and you can do whatever you want with them. When a guy lets you take his manhood in your mouth, he’s giving you quite a lot of power. He’s showing you he knows you can please him and he trusts you with the most delicate and sensitive part of himself.
He’s totally vulnerable - and some women get off on that.
Submission:
If you’re not into the power thing and need another reason to give your man more oral sex, you can think of it as a subservient act. Watch your man as you please him, study the rise and fall of his chest when he’s breathing heavy, track his breathing, pay attention to his gasps and moans - embrace the idea that you are giving him this intense pleasure.
The more you do it, the more you like it...I promise.
I used to hate giving oral sex. With many of my previous boyfriends (sorry!), it was definitely a “birthday gift” kind of thing. I just never really thought I was any good at it and would only ever do it if they gave me oral (which they never really seemed too excited about, either). Again, I was young (a teen) and really had no idea what I was doing.
Now that I’m older (and maybe a bit wiser, at least when it comes to sex), I realize that the more oral sex I give, the more I want to give it because I’m better at it, I see what he likes and how much he likes it and I want it to be part of our bedroom fun.
It’s intimate and erotic.
Oral sex has long since been looked at as anything but intimate. It’s something you do in the car, in the back of a movie theater (oops!), it’s something you do for his birthday, it’s something he does to surprise you.
But it can be really intimate and passionate if you incorporate it into the right style of play.
It really can be fun, it doesn’t have to be “work”.
Have fun with it! Just because it’s a “job” doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy it! Lots of the time, people (both men and women) tend to view oral sex as more of a “chore” or something to do “for” your spouse than anything else - but the more you have fun with it the more you may realize you love it!
Whether you incorporate mutual pleasure, ice cubes to give it a bit of a chill or handcuffs (all of which we’ll talk about more below) to add a bit of BDSM to his blowjob experience - giving your man oral can be really fun if you get into it with the right mindset.
They’re vulnerable, which is sexy.
If you take a second to actually think about how scary it could be to have someone’s mouth on the most sensitive part of your body, you begin to appreciate just how vulnerable your man is willing to be in order to feel this kind of pleasure.
You’re pleasing them, which is also sexy.
A form of partner-pleasing may be what gives you the idea to start oral sex, but looking into their eyes as you suck them off and knowing how much pleasure they are feeling by what you’re doing gives you an immense sense of power and pleasure for yourself. You’re making them feel good, which makes you feel good, which makes you want to keep doing what you’re doing.
They want you. You want that.
One of the most erotic things is when your man wants you so bad he’s willing to do pretty much anything for the sweet release of your lips around his manhood. The feeling that they want you so bad is incredibly flattering, sexy and makes you want to keep going!
Laying the groundwork for an incredible blowjob doesn’t have to mean intense foreplay, but you would be remiss if you skipped foreplay altogether.
Why? Because foreplay is critical in giving (and receiving) great oral sex.
One of the most difficult parts about giving a great blowjob is if you have to be down there for a long period of time, right? I mean, for starters: this is a lazy girl’s guide - you wouldn’t be here if you wanted to spend upwards of half an hour giving oral to your man. You want this to be relatively quick but still feel incredible for him.
That’s where foreplay comes in - because, ladies...men need foreplay, too.
Contrary to popular belief, it’s not just women who need foreplay - men also have better sex when foreplay is involved. In fact, according to this 2004 study (which looked at the sexual ideals for 152 heterosexual couples), the ideal length of foreplay was reported as being the same between men and women, it was only the ideal length of intercourse that they differed on.
How long should the foreplay last?
The average desired length of foreplay tends to be around 18 minutes, according to this study, and the actual average length most couples were pulling off was closer to 13 minutes.
Communication is key.
Determining what you and your partner want in regards to foreplay can’t be dictated by some statistic you read online, though. According to the researchers of the study, one of the biggest misunderstandings when it comes to foreplay and intercourse between romantic partners is a lack of communication about what both partners want out of the sexual exchange.
This is proven by the fact that, when asked what they thought their partner’s ideal length of foreplay and intercourse is, both males and females in the study thought their partner would want much longer foreplay than the partner actually reported wanting.
Instead of researching and asking experts what they think your man wants from oral sex - maybe just ask him yourself!
When it comes to foreplay...what’s the best kind of foreplay for gearing up to give an incredible blowjob? For some women, oral sex is heavily involved in foreplay...but what if you want to build up to it?
What if you want oral sex to be the main event...then what do you do for foreplay?
Undress each other, slowly. When it comes to getting undressed, most of the time this process is sped up because, well, you want to see (and feel) their naked skin against yours. But you’re really selling your whole foreplay experience short if you let your partner quickly undress by themselves.
You can really have fun with this...maybe you do a strip-tease for him, maybe you take off his tie and use it to bind his hands behind his back, maybe you want him to unbutton your blouse slowly and rip off your g-string with his teeth.
Feeling the warmth of your lover’s skin is something that also goes out the window in the midst of speedy and exciting foreplay. Take the time to let your hands explore his body, even if you’re just laying there talking.
Something really fun to do (that again, requires very little effort on your part - hurray!) is to lay there completely naked (after undressing each other) and just talk about what you want to do to each other as your hands trace his skin. Let your fingers get close to his manhood and tease him, and then trail your fingers back up to his chest. This will drive him absolutely wild, as will seeing your naked body in front of him while you describe how you want him to cum in your mouth later.
It’s easy for me to say vague things like “don’t forget foreplay” and “set the mood” - but what are some actual tips on how to physically give a good blowjob?
Well, it’s time to get into the nitty-gritty with some real advice on how to give an amazing (and effortless) blowjob your man will not soon forget.
Develop a good rhythm.
It’s all about the rhythm...not only with every classic 80s hit ever, but also with giving incredible blowjobs. Developing a steady rhythm can be difficult when you’re focusing on so many other things - you have to be mindful that your teeth don’t get in the way, you want to make sure you’re also using your hands, you want to make sure you’re not hurting him by sucking too hard, you want to make sure you’re not going to hit your gag reflex and vomit on him...and you want to do all that while still looking effortlessly sexy. It’s a balancing act, and adding any kind of rhythm to that seems impossible - but it’s not!
The key for success (for me, at least) happens to be putting some music on (out loud or in my head) and bopping to the beat as I go. This lets me pace myself, not get too carried away and puts me in a good rhythm so I can last longer.
Switch between sucking and licking.
The number one mistake many women make is thinking that a blowjob requires constant sucking action in order to be good. While suction plays a huge role, only sucking can tense up your jaw which can be painful the longer you do it, and it also isn’t required in order for it to feel great for him.
Switch between sucking and licking, this gives your mouth a bit of a rest while also teasing him and taking him off guard, which can work to your advantage.
Take into account if he’s circumcised or not.
If your guy is cut or uncut plays a big role in how you approach oral sex. If he’s cut (circumcised), you can apply a lot of suction and focus on the edges of the glans (I often do this with my tongue or inside of my cheeks while sucking).
If he’s uncut (not circumcised) on the other hand, you may need to take a less direct approach, as uncut men tend to be a bit more sensitive so they need less suction. In this situation, you can switch between light sucking and licking, focusing mostly on the frenulum (located on the underside of their penis where the shaft meets the head- this is the most sensitive part of un-cut men).
Multitask.
Ladies...multitasking is one of our specialties...use it to your advantage here!!! Use your hands to caress his body, smack his ass, claw at his arms while he’s deep inside your mouth. You can use your hands to pleasure yourself, too - depending on the position you can give him a masturbation show while also giving him an incredible blowjob. It’s like watching live-action porn while your girlfriend is sucking you off...who wouldn’t want that?
Don’t be afraid of the drool...we all do it.
You’re going to have quite a bit of saliva...it’s totally natural. In fact, some guys even like it - the wetter the better applies to more than just women, you know. Use the extra wetness to your advantage - it makes it much easier to take him deeper inside you if things are already super wet and slippery.
Eye contact while his dick is in your mouth is super sexy, even if it feels weird at first.
I personally was so nervous to do this in the past, and I have no idea why. For some reason, I always just got to work down there and didn’t give much thought to his eyes watching me. However, once I started to add in some eye contact, it was a total game-changer for both of us.
Not only can he see I’m really into it (by engaging with him, smiling, staring at him with my wide eyes as his dick thrusts deeper into my mouth) but it’s also extremely intimate and sensual as well - which I have always thought the art of oral sex was lacking, anyways.
Don’t forget the balls, ladies.
Caressing his balls with one hand as your other hand is essentially jerking him off in your mouth is the epitome of using the balls to your advantage during oral sex. His balls are delicate, so be careful (or rougher, if that’s what he likes), but it really would be a shame if his balls were totally neglected during this process, as they can help enhance the blowjob and all you have to do is play with them a little.
The gag hack that might actually work…
If you have a sensitive gag reflex, you may have already given up on the thought of giving your man anything other than a quick 2-minute blowjob - but as with most things in life...there’s a hack for that.
Squeeze or press your thumb between the rest of your fingers - this is actually proven to help stop you from gagging. To read about this (and other gag reflex hacks), check out this Mind-Hack article.
The position you’re in matters more than you think.
If you’re interested in deep-throating but aren’t sure if you can handle it, try a different position than the simple kneeling in front of him or on top of him in bed. Lay upside down with your head dangling off the bed and have him very slowly make his way inside your mouth. This position relaxes your gag reflex and makes it much easier to take him in deeper.
This is a fantastic position for facefucking (which we’ll get more into in another post, I promise!), although you do have to go slow at first and get used to it.
Just the tip...
Play with the tip and have some fun with it. Do little circles around the head of his penis with just your tongue before taking him into your mouth completely. Switch up the deep-throat sucking with some gentle wet kisses along the tip of his penis. Use your lips around the tip to give him an idea of what’s about to happen.
Mutual feels are the best kind of motivation to keep going.
Letting him work your clit or better yet, using a hands-free toy on yourself while you’re giving him a blowjob not only feels amazing for both of you but also gives you way more incentive to keep the party going as long as you can.
Blowjobs aren’t always super fun, right? Sometimes we need a bit of motivation to keep going and what better motivation than “if I stop, this amazing feeling will also stop”?
Let him hear (and feel) you moan.
As if you’re not already doing enough with your mouth - but I promise, this tip is worth it. Moaning or humming adds extra vibrations and sensations to the oral sex, making it so much better without you even trying.
Take the tip mentioned above (mutual pleasure) and really let yourself moan and groan as he works your clit - he’ll love to hear your expression of satisfaction almost as much as he’ll like the unexpected vibrations of your voice while he’s in your mouth.
Don’t fear the 69...it’s not as overrated as you think.
Mutual oral sex is something of a cliche, but it got to be that way for a reason: it’s fun. It feels great (for both of you) and takes a bit of the seriousness out of blowjobs. Every time I’ve experienced mutual oral sex it’s been a bit of giggling, some funny position changes, lots of cute strokes and caresses to other parts of your body...I’m telling you, it’s really not as bad as you think it is and can totally help you get pleasure out of giving him a blowjob!
Let lube do the work so you don’t have to.
There’s a lube for that, you know! Tingling sensation, warm sensation, cool sensation...you name it, there’s likely a lube that can do it. Not only that but adding lube can also make it much easier to take him deeper into your mouth, too. Look into buying some edible oral sex appropriate lube to enhance your blowjob skills without any extra effort.
Some of my favorites are this Pina Colada flavored lube (which reminds me of being on a beach somewhere sucking on the straw of a refreshing cocktail...which isn’t much different than what I’m actually using it for…) and this watermelon lube from Lube Life.
DIY some creative solutions that will make him feel good (with his consent, of course).
Mouth wash, fizzy beverages, ice cubes...I’ve used all of these things to give my blowjob game a bit of a bump - and it works, too. While there are of course some lubes designed specifically for enhancing oral sex (listed above), sometimes you don’t have those things handy - get creative with it (after talking about it with him, of course).
You can choose how you make them cum.
There are tons of ways to make him cum and how you deal with that climax when it happens is totally up to you! Don’t let any man guilt you (with words or actions) into thinking you have to swallow their semen, ladies. You’ve put in the work, you can decide how the show ends. For me, I hate swallowing, so when he gets close to climax I let him finish by jerking off onto my tits (which he loves). Find a solution that is a win-win for both of you!
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