The Best Submissive Sex Positions for Pleasing Your Dominant

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Let’s Talk About Submissive Poses

What are submissive poses? As you may (or may not) know, D/s relationships can be intimately unique to each couple. Not every relationship will have the need for submissive poses or positions. However, if you are one of those couples interested in D/s poses and positions, you’ve come to the right place.

What is the difference between a submissive pose and a submissive sex position? 
A submissive pose is something a submissive does to please his/her dominant. This will be a previously agreed-upon set of instructions that the submissive will follow when given the cue or instruction. 

For example, “pose 1” could have the submissive on their knees with their hands in their lap. “Pose 2” could have the submissive on all fours, with their forehead to the ground. The number of poses and combinations of poses is endless - this can be a really intimate and special bonding experience between a dominant and their submissive, to learn, memorize, and carry out these poses. 

Submissive sex positions on the other hand are simply positions for sexual activity (either intercourse or foreplay) that allow for a heightened D/s dynamic. This could be something like doggy style, where the dominant is able to pin the submissive’s arms behind their back for an extra bit of domination and restraint. 

Why would a submissive need different poses? 
If you or your dominant are interested in submissive poses, there may be a few reasons for that. Firstly, it definitely adds an extra bit of tension to D/s exchanges. Submissive poses often have the submissive in quite vulnerable and/or demeaning positions and the dominant in a position of power or authority. This can heighten each person’s experience. 

Another common reason people enjoy submissive poses is the training aspect of it. Remembering different poses (and commands for poses) and immediately following instructions when they are given is a great training exercise for a submissive who is interested in being trained by their dominant. 

If you’re interested in learning more about submissive posing, The Submissive Guide has a few great articles on this topic.

Playing with Power Dynamics and Positions During Sex...

Playing with different power dynamics in BDSM play can be incredibly erotic and, well, powerful. From following pose instructions to giving instructions on how to give oral sex or what actual sex position your partner wants, obeying your dominant’s commands when can be incredibly intoxicating. 

The Dominant: giver of commands. 
While I’ve previously written an entire article (and could likely write several more) on what it really means to be dominant, here’s the TLDR: it’s not just about being in control. In fact, with domination comes responsibility, trust, and intimacy. 

Being dominant holds you accountable for your submissive’s trust, their safety, and their pleasure. Being in this role is incredibly fulfilling and being given your submissive’s trust and submission is a very meaningful experience. 

The Submissive: obedience and loyalty. 
I’ve written another article on submission (it’s here if you’re interested), but the main misconception I want to clear up about submission is that it’s not choiceless. You can choose how submissive you are, who you give your submission to and you can always, always stop things by using your safeword when you feel like you need to. 

You can be a little submissive. Or you can be completely the point where you don’t speak unless spoken to. It’s your choice, and a good dom/me will not only respect that but encourage it. 

The other part of submission I want to focus on briefly is the loyalty and obedience. Submissive’s aren’t obedient because they have to be or are asked to, they willingly give their submission to those they feel deserve it. This can be an incredibly impactful and intimate thing, and trusting someone enough to be your most vulnerable self with them is something incredibly special. 

Switch Play: a happy mix of both. 
What does it mean to be a “switch”? Well, it means you can switch from dominance to submission. You may prefer one over the other, but depending on your mood, your partner, or the situation, you feel comfortable flowing from one state to the other. 

This is an incredibly unique position to be in if you find yourself identifying as a switch because you can feel the emotions and intensity behind each position. 

What’s in a position? 
Well, a lot, actually. Certain positions during sex can not only make you feel certain heightened sensations, but they can also add to the power dynamic between you and your lover(s). As a submissive, there are quite a few positions that have you in a more vulnerable state while your dominant partner is in a more controlled state. 

It may surprise you how changing up the positions during sex can amplify the D/s dynamic in your sex life. 

Anger and resentment have no role in power play. 
This is more a note for dom/mes than submissives, but you should avoid power play dynamics if you’re feeling anger or resentment towards your partner. Dom-space is an incredibly heightened state of being, and entering this while you’re angry with your partner could cause you to lose their best interests and push in ways that are unhealthy. 

Consent and communication, always. 
When expirimenting with new positions (especially ones that play with the D/s dynamic of your relationship), it’s extremely important to have a candid, honest conversation with your partner about it first. Consent and communication are the pillars of a healthy BDSM relationship and when trying new things, it’s important to discuss safewords and boundaries. 

A number of these positions can involve being bound or gagged, and it’s important to discuss exactly how the sexual activity will pan out so there aren’t any surprises. 

What Are the Best Submissive Sex Positions for Oral Sex?

When it comes to oral sex, I prefer any position that involves facefucking - but that’s just me. There are all different kinds of submissive positions you can use to make your dominant feel like they have the power and respect they deserve. From romantic positions to more aggressive ones, let’s dive into the best submissive sex positions for oral sex. 

Doggy Blowjob (Male Oral)
Difficulty Level: 1/5
If your dominant is a penis-haver, they (and you) will love this one. Position yourself on your knees in front of your partner. They will stand in front of you as you use your mouth to please them. This can be done in so many different ways (with the dominant sitting in a chair and the submissive kneeling in front of them, for another example).

You can also add an element of bondage to this by having your dominant tie your hands behind your back with handcuffs or bondage ropes - this way you can only use your mouth to please. 

The Chair (Female Oral)
Difficulty Level: 1/5
If your dominant is a vagina-haver (I am really loving these terms), oral can be a bit tricky if they are standing up. So, while your domme sits on their home office chair, sneak under the table and get to work, pleasing them with your mouth until they say you can stop. 

This one can be made more fun and intimate by having the domme put their legs up on your shoulders so you get total, unlimited access to all their good spots. 

Sweet Surrender/Worship Pose (Female or Male Oral)
Difficulty Level: 1/5
With your dominant partner laying down (on a bed or the couch), with their legs spread, you can easily kneel or lay between their thighs and get to work. This kind of position is, what I like to call, a worship position. Your dominant has full view of you and they are in a very relaxed and composed position while you are in a submissive, vulnerable one. 

Facefucked (Male or Female Oral)
Difficulty Level: 3/5
This is a position where I’m not even sure if there’s a name for it, so I’ve come up with the ever-so-elegant “Facefucked” title because really, that’s what it is. In this position, the submissive will lie flat on their back on the bed. The dominant will kneel next to their head. The submissive can turn their head to the side to give oral to their partner or the dominant can squat overtop of the submissive to receive it. 

Similarly, if the dominant partner is a female, they can squat or straddle their partner’s face while the submissive partner is lying on the bed. Either way, this position is hot, hot, hot. 

What Are the Best Submissive Sex Positions For Anal Sex?

Let’s talk about anal. Again, another topic I’ve covered pretty well, but one I personally will never tire of talking about. Because anal, when done right, can be immensely pleasurable for everyone involved. 

What are some of the best anal sex positions that focus on the D/s relationship? Well...

The Armlock 
Difficulty Level: 2/5
This is doggy-style with a BDSM flavored twist - the armlock. Resume a doggy style position, with your dominant behind you and your legs either together between their legs or apart on either side of their legs. For this position, I prefer having my legs spread apart but it’s really personal preference. 

Instead of propping yourself up on your hands or forearms as you normally would during doggy style, lie face down on the bed and put your arms behind your back. Your dom/me can then lock your arms in place using their hands (or handcuffs/bonds). This is an extremely fun position, particularly for anal sex, because it’s very easy access for them and adds an element of suspense to an already exciting sexual adventure. 

The V
Difficulty Level: 2/5
This position has the submissive on their back while the dominant partner is on top of them (similar positioning to missionary). The submissive with but their legs up onto the dominant’s shoulders, allowing for deep anal penetration and very easy access. This is quite an intimate position, which can really add to the D/s dynamic. 

As a submissive in the missionary position, it’s incredibly easy to stimulate your clit as well (if you’ve been given permission, that is). 

Lowered Doggy Style
Difficulty Level: 1/5
Another variation on the typical doggy style, but it just has to be mentioned because, during anal penetration, it can feel so very good. Assume a doggy style position, and instead of supporting your weight on your hands or forearms, lie face down on the bed (similar to the armlock position mentioned above but your hands don’t need to be behind your back). 

This angle for anal penetration is really deep and with your partner leaving over you, their chest to your back, it can be an incredibly powerful D/s position. 

What Are the Best Submissive Sex Positions for Sex?

There are so many simple ways to spice up your D/s relationship. From testing out new kinks to bondage to talking about introducing another person into the mix...but have you ever thought about just trying new positions? 

Switching up sex positions is one of the easiest, quickest ways to make sex more fun and for some reason, most of us jump immediately to handcuffs, spreader bars, and mouth gags. D/s relationships are great with all those things, but let’s just get back to basics, shall we? 

Stand and Deliver
Difficulty Level: 3/5
This has to be one of my favorite sex positions within our D/s dynamic. The submissive simply bends over for the dominant to use them as they please. This can be done anywhere, anytime - the shower, the bedroom, the kitchen while you’re waiting on your dinner to cook...really, anywhere. 

The most impactful D/s dynamic of this position is the fact that it’s urgent. Your dom/me needs you, and they need you now, and you can stop whatever you’re doing, bend over and let them have it. It’s primal and exciting, don’t you think? 

Owned and Spread
Difficulty Level: 2/5
This position has the submissive lying on her back with their legs spread apart and the dominant kneeling with their legs on either side of the submissive’s thighs. The dominant can either hold the submissives legs on their shoulders or spread them as far apart as possible (if the submissive is flexible) to get even deeper penetration. 

This gives the dominant an incredible view of your body and face as they are penetrating you. Spice up this position by having your dom/me tie your wrists above your head. 

Difficulty Level: 1/5
While you may think missionary is the better submissive sex position (after all, you are lying there being used by your dominant partner), I’d like to challenge that with the narrative that submissive-on-top positions are better for this D/s dynamics.

Why? Well, firstly, the dom/me (below) has a great view and can literally just lie back and be pleased by their submissive. Secondly, this position can be cranked up a notch by the submissive leaning down over the dominant and the dominant holding them in place, and thrusting upwards. 

This is also the perfect position for those spankings and thigh slaps that dominant’s can use as cues to go faster or harder. Ultimately, submissive-on-top positions are a great way for the dominant to take control without actually having to get up and do stuff. And we want our dom/me to be relaxed, don’t we?

The Shoulder Holder
Difficulty Level: 3/5
I saw this position online and I cannot stop thinking about it because it really is a “hold still while I use you” kind of position...and we know how well those do in D/s relationships, right? 

This position has the submissive on their back, legs up around the dominant’s waist (as if in missionary). The change here is that the submissive’s arms are pinned down by their sides, against the dominant’s legs. You’re essentially being held in place and used - and if that doesn’t scream dominance, I don’t know what does. 

The Safe Secret
Difficulty Level: 1/5
This one, I just had to add from this Cosmo article, because it’s honestly one of the most submissive positions a sub can be put into. How it works is that the submissive will kneel, and then brings their body into a little ball - kind of like a fetal position but you’re on your knees instead of your side. 

This gives your partner total access to your genitals, and you can’t see what they are about to do. They can slide in a penis (or strap on) or they can lick, bite or smack wherever they please - and you will just lie there, totally unaware and waiting for their next move. This is an incredibly heightened sense of submission and dominance. 

The Chairman 
Difficulty Level: 1/5
This one is from Women’s Health Magazine, and I wanted to add it to our little list for one specific reason: all the possibilities of submissive little things that could happen leading up to when you sit on your partner’s lap. 

Essentially, in this position, your partner sits on the edge of the bed (or couch) and you sit on top of them, facing away so your back is against their chest. Now - the best part of this is that your partner (your dom/me) can give you some sexy instructions for them as they sit and you stand naked and vulnerable in front of them. If you and your partner are into degradation, they can use this time to call you all the filthy little names they (and you) want. If not, they can just give some simple strip tease instructions or ask you to pleasure them before assuming this position. 

How to Spice Up Any Sex Position to Add a D/s Element

While these sex positions are all fantastic, really, any position can be used in a D/s scene - you just have to know what to add. 

Restraints are the easiest way to add a bit of D/s fun to your sex life. You can incorporate restraints into any position to boost the feeling of submission to your partner. 

Some of the most common restraint systems used are: 

  • Handcuffs
  • Bondage ropes
  • Spreader bars

When a dom/me uses nothing but their words to pleasure you into submission - it’s hot! By far one of the easiest ways to boost the D/s dynamic in the bedroom is for your dom/me to become more comfortable with giving verbal commands. This can be used in an endless amount of ways in countless different positions and scenarios. 

Orgasm Denial/Edging 
“May I cum, sir?” 
“No. You may not.” 

If you’re a submissive and that exchange doesn’t send goosebumps down your spine, I don’t know what will. Orgasm edging or denial can be an extremely fun game to play with your dominant, having them decide when (and how) you are allowed to orgasm. This also has the added benefit of extending playtime so you can test out multiple fun positions (like the ones listed above). 

While I’ve outlined a few fun poses throughout this post, posing for your dominant doesn’t have to be something rehearsed or memorized. Adding submissive, sultry poses to your foreplay and teasing can really get your dominant in the mood. So go ahead, strike a pose!