When you think of homemade sex toys, you’re likely picturing a cucumber, right?
Maybe a banana with a condom on it? Some kind of phallic-shaped food?
What if I told you not all DIY sex toys had to be bad ideas waiting to happen? And that not all of them included putting food where it definitely doesn’t belong? What if I told you that these household items you see around your house every day can be used for steamy, sensual self-loving - or better yet, for spicing things up with a partner?
DIY sex toys are a bit of a taboo for one main reason: people assume you’re doing things you shouldn’t be doing with items you shouldn’t be doing it with. As I said, most of the time what comes to people’s mind is using some kind of phallic-shaped food as a dildo.
But there are all different kinds of sex toys (not just dildos!) and there are all different kinds of regular items (not food!) around your house that can be used when you’re in a pinch.
DIY kings & queens - let’s take this to the bedroom.
When it comes to DIY sex toys, obviously there have to be some rules.
Have you ever heard of “pregnancy brain”? Well, I’m convinced there is also such a thing as “masturbation brain.” This is when seemingly all logic flies out the window in our efforts to achieve an orgasm. We’ve all been there, but here are some ground rules when it comes to DIY sex toys.
Because the most important thing when you’re putting something inside you (or using something to masturbate with) is that it has to be safe! This means nothing sharp, nothing that’s broken (or could break) and you definitely need to cover whatever you’re putting inside you with a condom!
I think you know what I mean, ladies. Be smart in your quest for dildo-alternatives around the house. Just because it’s phallic-shaped and could get the job done, doesn’t mean it’s safe to use.
We’ve all been there - revved up and ready to go with nothing but our own hands to get us there...sometimes we just need a little more. In our desperation to find something (anything!) to help us get off, we can be a bit...hasty, shall I say, in choosing what we use to masturbate with.
If you’re someone who likes your nipples clamped or sucked, take a wander around your house and think “nipple stimulation”... something will come to you.
Just don’t do this.
When you think of DIY sex toys, almost immediately your mind goes to things you could use for penetration or clit stimulation. But even your solo-time deserves some foreplay magic!
The best thing about being an adult is no one telling you that you can’t be naked at 3pm on your living room sofa, or that we need to put clothes on before switching over the laundry. Taking your naked games to other areas of your house can give you some ideas on what to use in your kinky foreplay.
When I say sex toys, I’m talking dildo-alternatives, lube-alternatives, foreplay toys, vibration toys, stuff to go in your body, stuff to go on your body...anything that can be DIY’d for sexy time goes on this list.
So let’s dive into it.
Looking for a makeshift restraint? Maybe you want a blindfold but never felt it necessary to buy one at your local sex shop. Well - that tie around your hubby’s neck will do the trick! I mean, it’s going to come off anyway, right? Why not use it to restrain him?
For a little light BDSM play, ball up a pair of panties and stick them in your naughty lover’s mouth for a makeshift ball gag.
This is even hotter when your partner has a used panty fetish because you can slip off the ones your wearing and give them a taste of you in the way you know will drive them absolutely wild.
If used panties aren’t their thing - grab a new pair from the drawer!
How can a small metallic spoon be used during sex?
No - you’re not inserting this anywhere. Think more outside the box...literally. Using a cool spoon from your kitchen drawer to press against your clit can give you a cool feeling while you’re going to town on yourself. Run the spoon under some hot water (or stick it in the freezer for a few minutes) to play with different temperature sensations, too!
Spanking is sexy, many thanks to James Spader in Secretary (I will never stop talking about this!). Anyways - maybe a good wooden spatula across the ass cheeks is the punishment your naughty lover deserves.
Playing solo? Well, some spatulas are quite long-handled...how about you dole yourself out some of that punishment you’ve been asking for?
A hairbrush dildo...because who hasn’t tried this?
I can’t be the only teenage girl who looked at that Conair Soft Gel Handled brush, thought “this could go inside me” and decided to give it a try, right? The handle of your hairbrush can be a great make-shift dildo - just slide a condom on it and voila!
Warm and cool sensations are so under-rated during sex...why aren’t more people using them!? Something as simple as an ice cube in the mouth of my husband going down on me...WOW.
Looking for some cool ways to use ice-cubes while going solo?
Tracing them along your body will give you goosebumps, slowly leading it down to your clit and using your icy-cold fingers can give you a new, chilling kind of sensation.
That buzzing of an electric toothbrush will make you feel all kinds of wrong (in the best ways) after you’ve tried using one to massage your clit or penetrate you while it’s vibrating.
Cover the handle with a condom and you have a dildo, pick a super-soft bristled toothbrush head and you have a clit massager. This should go without saying, but you should definitely use a toothbrush that is no longer being used for dental hygiene.
Belts can be used for all kinds of things - tying your partner’s hands, strapping them down to something, binding their legs...you can even use it to give them a few lashes across your partner’s juicy buttocks if pain is your thing.
Did you know they make apps that simulate vibrators to help you masturbate?
I honestly had no idea, but I guess it’s true: whatever you need, there’s an app for that!
Do you know how you can never really reach quite the same angle when you’re alone?
Well, using pillows to prop yourself up (or rub yourself against) is a great way to help your nimble fingers find exactly the right angle to bring you all those feel-good sensations.
Date night with a partner and want to try going deeper? Prop yourself up on the pillow (sliding it under your hips) to give him a whole new angle to penetrate you with.
Want to restrain someone and can’t find anything within reach? No need to go rifling through your naughty drawer and ruin the mood - simply slip off the pillowcase and use it to bind their hands. The improvisation of this is wildly sexy.
I’m telling you...pillows are handy. And a body pillow? Even better!
This is the only food on this list, I promise. And you obviously know what this is for...just pour and get to licking! Adding food into your sex life doesn’t have to mean something goes where it shouldn’t.
Put the banana down and pick up the whipped cream! Keeping your whipped cream in the fridge and pulling it out when you want to make your own kind of banana split (featuring your wife’s clit) or heating up some chocolate hot sauce to lick off your lover’s nipples can be extremely sexy.
If you’re a woman with long hair, chances are you have scrunchies and hair ties scattered (or lost somewhere) around your house. Well, next time you and your man are fooling around, slip one over his erect penis! The tightness of the elastic acts the same as a cock ring and helps him maintain the erection longer and makes him feel good and last longer, which means you last longer.
Maybe my husband will stop complaining about all the scrunchies he finds lying around, now that we can put them to good use.
Drip, drip, drip.
Candles are for more than just making the room smell great - they can also be used for wax play. Keep the candle held high as you drizzle the wax onto your lover’s body. The long-way down will help it cool a bit before sizzling onto their skin.
You can also tease your partner with a warm sensation by putting the flame close to their body.
That jewelry dangling around your neck can give your man all kinds of sensations he’s never felt before.
How? Simply hold them in your hand while you’re giving your eager hubby a helping hand during foreplay. Using the pearls from the necklace against his manhood while you gently rub and tug can give him a new kind of sensation.
A vibrating face cleanser can do wonders for your blackheads, but did you know they also double as pretty great clitoral massager?
Now, before you start thinking: I don’t want that on my face after I use it to get off - it’s not the brush part you’re using down there. That buzz that helps the brush exfoliates you so well also pulsates through the entire machine - so use the back end (with the brush facing outwards) to get a good vibe going downstairs.
I can only assume your skin will look amazing if you do this because both exfoliating and orgasms are great for your complexion.
By far the hardest part about pleasing myself as a woman is not being able to do it all at the same time. I want to be choked, I want to be teased, I want to have clitoral stimulation, I want to be penetrated and the cherry on the cake? I want nipple stimulation!
Well, problem solved! Chip clips or clothespins are great nipple-clamp alternatives for when you’re going solo.
Want to mix things up with your partner? Use them on each other!
Have you ever wondered what that insane noise is, only to realize it’s your washing machine spinning your clothes on an intense wash-cycle? Well, why not make the best of it and hop on?
Let the vibrations and movements help you on your way to bliss. Want that extra *oomph*? Put some sneakers spinning inside the machine and bounce your way to better orgasms.
Thank whatever deity you pray to for this (for lack of a better word) Godsend. Whoever invented the removable shower head currently residing in my bathroom - my happy vagina thanks you.
A removable showerhead can pulsate your clit with a steady stream of water. Feeling frisky? Let the pounding water do it’s thing, increasing the water flow intensity or changing the temperature of the water as you go.
With a partner? Take turns letting the steady stream of water hit all the best spots.
A scarf can be used for all kinds of things, to bind and restrain or to blindfold. Using different fabric scarves can help you put a little mystery into your game and play with different texture sensations.
If you have a back massager and haven’t used it to masturbate, I have just one question for you: what are you waiting for!?
Back massagers usually have varying intensity settings, which means you can play around and get just the right sensation.
Did you know the Hitachi Magic Wand (one of the most popular wand sex toys out there) was originally made and sold as a back massager? Want to know why? Because that was its original purpose!
Okay, hold up. How can something that’s used to scrub dishes be used for sex?
Well, using different sensations during foreplay can amp things up to 11 - and if you’ve ever enjoyed the feeling of exfoliating your face, you might enjoy a very similar sensation elsewhere. Using the sponge to exfoliate your inner thighs, your outer labia or against your breasts can send all the best kinds of shivers down your body.
Want to try this with a partner? Gently use the sponge to massage your lover with lightly scented massage oil to give this DIY trick a sensual vibe.
Take your (hopefully clean) feather duster for a spin and practice the art of seduction by tracing it along your body. Let yourself feel the goosebumps that come - tease yourself with the delicate sensations.
Looking for a new way to introduce your lover to sensation play? Trail the duster along their body, using the lightest strokes possible to give them an insane tingle that will send shivers down their spine.
Want something a bit more impactful? Hold the duster by the feathers and give them a good whack across the ass to let them know you’re ready for something more intense.
Duct tape is a staple in every home because of its multi-functional use...but you can add one more use to that list - restraining your lover while you please them until they beg for mercy.
Although duct tape may be lacking the non-stick, gentle-to-remove factor that sex tape is known to have...tape is tape! If you’re searching for your sex tape and get yourself into a bind (or rather, can’t find something you want to use to put someone else in a bind) - duct tape is the next best thing!
While gardening isn’t exactly erotic, sometimes you want to get frisky outdoors (or want to add a bit of zing to your spanks) - and this one is tried and verified by yours truly.
A hand-held garden spade, in the hands of the right dom, can be exhilarating. Why? Because slapping that cold, hard metal across your submissive's backside feels so good.
Unless you’re me and throw out your chopsticks in a fit of rage over not knowing how to properly use them, you may still have some chopsticks laying around from the last time your ordered Chinese take out or because they are just handy to own.
Let me tell you how to use these sticks in a way that won’t make you hot and bothered in the best way. Squeeze them together and tie a small rubber band at both ends. This creates a super easy-to-use set of nipple clamps.
Not interested in nipple play? Well, they can also be used to squeeze your outer labia together.
Can’t seem to find anything to get you off, but know exactly where your family keeps their tool chest? Well, using a tool handle for a dildo is actually not the worst idea in the world.
According to this Bustle article, up to four percent of people surveyed for the article has used a tool handle to masturbate with. Some lube, a condom, and your hubby’s favorite hammer - you’re all set.
Coconut oil is practically magical, we all know this - but here we are with yet another use for it: lube.
Organic coconut oil (without any preservatives) can be used as a great inexpensive, natural lube solution. The only thing to keep in mind is that you shouldn’t use an oil-based lube with latex condoms, because they can compromise the integrity of the latex.
Another tip is to make sure your coconut oil is stored safely (or better yet, use an unopened bottle) because oil can grow bacteria quite quickly if not sealed up properly - and we don’t want that near our naughty bits!
A large flashlight can be a great DIY dildo. Use the small(er) end, slip a condom on and get going!
Tights and stockings are incredibly sexy items every woman should have in her closet of kinky outfits - but when your stockings have tears in them or your tights don’t fit, don’t throw them away - use them to play!
Restraining your lover to the bedpost using a pair of your old stockings can be incredibly sexy...it will drive them wild, especially if they already have a used panty fetish.
Dog collars aren’t just for people interested in pet play, you know.
If you have a dog collar that’s not being used (and that’s clean), you can use for the obvious, to treat your partner like a puppy...but you can also use a dog collar to bind your lover’s hands behind their back while you tease them relentlessly.
While I don’t condone the use of shock collars on pets, if do happen to have a shock collar laying around - that’s a whole new level of interesting.
A classic - the masturbation sock! This one really needs no explanation, but some men use a sock full of lotion or lube to masturbate.
This works great, says every funny coming-of-age movie ever.
Am I the only one who finds it totally unnecessary to buy nipple clamps when so many options around your house can be used for nipple stimulation?
Paperclips are yet another nipple-clamp alternative that is super easy to use. Just clip them onto your nipples (or your partner’s nipples) and you’re good to go!
DIY is great and everything, but trust me when I say nothing beats real, quality sex toys from verified sex shops. That doesn’t mean you can’t have some DIY fun though, right?
It should go without saying (but I need to say it again for my own sanity) - be careful when using DIY sex toys! Whether you’re playing with a partner or by yourself, don’t let masturbation brain get the best of you (and put you in a situation where you have to call emergency services over a DIY sex toy incident).
Play safe, DIY kings and queens.