The Ultimate Guide to Self Bondage

Why do people love being bound and restrained? Many people who enjoy bondage think of it as an art, and after seeing some of this stunning Shibari bondage photography, I think you’ll agree it can be just as beautiful as it is erotic. 

Roleplaying as someone else in a dangerous escape situation, the security of being locked and bound tight or the freedom that comes from feeling a bit helpless...there are so many reasons people love bondage play, and self-bondage is just the same.

Maybe you’re a working parent who does the same household tasks every day and cooks the same meals every week, just looking for the rush and release that comes from tying yourself up. Or maybe you’re a high-powered career type who for once in their lives wants to feel like they aren’t in control of a situation. 

Bondage can be the whole game or it can be adrenaline-filled foreplay. The end goal is to take you out of your world and put you into a scenario where things are exciting, suspenseful and fun. 

Remember when I said going solo doesn’t have to be vanilla? Until now, maybe you’ve thought bondage was only something you could experience with a partner...but self-bondage is very much a thing, and you’re about to be schooled.

I’ve scoured the web to find you the best tips, tricks, and techniques for elaborate, safe, and fun self-bondage. 

What Is Self-Bondage? 

Self-bondage is exactly what it sounds like - tying, binding or restraining yourself. This can be accomplished using a few different things like rope, chains, tape, handcuffs, harnesses or even the plastic wrap you have in your kitchen drawer.

While you may think to grab a set of handcuffs or use a simple set of restraints for your wrists, the world of self-bondage is so much more than that. Really, the possibilities are endless, you just have to be open to trying new things.

When practiced properly, self-bondage can be a fun sexual play experience that lets you express your naughtiest solo restraint fantasies without needing a partner in order to feel the pleasure bondage can offer.

Bondage generally falls under two categories:

Sensual Self-Bondage

Sensual self-bondage tends to have more to do with the psychological high rather than the physicality of being tied up. 

This is where the idea that you’re restrained is far more to your pleasure than creating high-risk, adrenaline filled bondage scenarios. People who enjoy sensual self-bondage may use ties that they are sure they can escape from, may only use bondage as a form of foreplay or will often leave loose knots in their rope or use a lock and key system where the key is very easily accessed. 

This kind of self-bondage is my personal favourite because it’s more about the experience than about how intricate your binds are.

Strict Self-Bondage 

Strict self-bondage, on the other hand, tends to be more elaborate, difficult to escape from and is very much for people who need a challenge and feel the risky nature of bondage is the most important part. 

Strict self-bondage can also be tailored to fit your other fetishes such as humiliation, slave play or punishment. This too is something you can achieve even when practicing self-bondage...for example: if you’re into humiliation, you can put the key to your binds in a place where in order to access it, you have to embarrass yourself (like outside on your front lawn or in a cup with an unsavoury beverage you have to drink before you can get yourself free). 

There are obviously strict-bondage situations that are not safe to be practicing alone (such as erotic asfyxiation, which should always be done with a partner). 

This kind of self-bondage is not as easily achieved when you’re by yourself and requires firm limits as to how far you can push yourself to go without causing harm. 

Is Self-Bondage Safe? 

This is likely your first question, and for good reason.

Getting off is great, but let’s all live to orgasm another day, shall we? 

This kind of play can be dangerous because you’re alone and there isn’t anyone there to help if a situation gets out of hand or you need help. 

However, that doesn’t mean self-bondage has to be completely off the table...it just means you need to take every precaution to make sure a good time doesn’t turn into a very bad time. 

Some of the dangers involved in self-bondage can include cutting off blood circulation (if your binds are too tight), suffocation and tissue/nerve damage when using rope or chains to bind yourself.

Precautions you can take when practicing solo bondage can include...

Planning Ahead

Research the methods of self-bondage you’re interested in trying, become familiar with the ropes, binds or restraints you’re using (maybe test them out with a partner first) and try to plan as much of your solo session as possible, accounting for what could go wrong at any point. 

Ease Into It

Start with some super simple binds you can undo when you need to, and start your sessions in a well-lit room. There will be a time for more complicated, elaborate restraints once you become a bit more experienced in the art of self-bondage. 

Steer clear of timed restraints or overcomplicated rope ties in the beginning, and when you do start to practice more intense binds, decide on a time limit and stick to it (even if you’re having fun).

Escape Plan

Even when we plan things, there is always a risk of error or something unexpected happening - so keep things within reach that could help you escape your restraints if things get out of hand. 

Scissors, bolt cutters, your cell phone to make an emergency call...make sure these things are within your reach and that one hand is able to get free at any time in case you need any of these things. 

In fact, it’s good to have a backup escape plan for your escape plan, just in case things don't go according to plan. 

Be Smart

Your satisfaction is important, but don’t lose your head in the process of planning an elaborate self-bondage scenario. 

Elaborate, rough, tight or difficult to escape binds can make for a thrilling time, but maybe save the more difficult binds for couple’s play...no need to make things overly complicated. The more elaborate, the more chances things can go wrong. 

An important rule of self-bondage play: stay away from mouth, neck and head restraints. These tend to be far more dangerous and mistakes can be fatal if you don’t have a partner to help when needed. 

Self-Bondage for Beginners

Are you interested in dipping a toe into the waters and finding out if this self-bondage thing is what will get you off? 

Diving into the world of self-bondage can seem a bit daunting, but hopefully, this post will have enough information to get you started. (Scroll down to the bottom for my full list of solo-bondage resources!) 

The biggest question...what are the most common (easiest) ways to restrain yourself where you can also free yourself easily? 

Handcuffs

You likely have experience with handcuffs, even if it’s just from that one time your college roommates gave them to you as a gag gift for your birthday. 

Handcuffs are a natural beginning point for anyone interested in any time of restriction or bondage play because they can be restrictive and yet very easy to escape from when the key is within reach. 

Rope

Rope is a great starting point if you’re interested in self restraints because it’s versatile and you can cut right through it with scissors if you get stuck. 

You can use it in so many different ways and there are even online tutorials on how to do everything from basic ties to more elaborate solo rope ties like this sexy rope skirt.

Plastic Wrap/Tape

You’ll never look at that plastic wrap in your kitchen drawer the same way again once you realize what you can use it for. 

If you’re interested in giving this whole self-bondage thing a test-try but aren’t wanting to take the dive into buying locks, chains or rope yet, restraining yourself and wrapping parts of your body in plastic wrap is a great trial run.

Looking for Something A Little More Advanced? 

Are you tired of simple handcuffs and straps? 

Do you find your current restraint system a bit bland and boring? 

Maybe you’re experienced in solo-bondage play and would like to kick things up a notch.

Let’s get into some of the more advanced techniques on self-bondage and really get things going. 

Chains 

Chains can be used in so many different ways, the most popular being tying yourself to something like a collar if you’re interested in pet play, or a bedpost if you want to stick to restraint role play. 

Chains up the game a bit from a typical rope restraint, as they are much more difficult to escape or cut free from and add an added feeling of cool metal against your skin.

Want to make things a bit more interesting? Add some locks to the chains to secure yourself. (Just be sure your key is close enough that you can break free when you need to). 

Timed Releases

Have some time to spare? 


Why not add the element of endurance to your solo play? 

Locking yourself up with a timed restraint system is a great way to enhance the pleasure and a safe way to restrain yourself with the feeling of no escape...until your timed release. 

The easiest way to test this game out is with an ice lock. Place the key to your chain lock or restraint system in an ice cube tray and stick it in the freezer...bring it out when it’s time to play.

Have the ice cube with the key inside sitting somewhere close or you can even incorporate the ice into the game by running the ice cube across your body (if your hands are free, that is). 

Only One Way Out

Do you want to experience binds that are seemingly inescapable without having to have a partner around to help you get out once the fun is over? 

Trying this type of one-way-out self-bondage relies only on the safety measure of you having a knife within your reach to cut yourself free...otherwise, you may need to call someone to come untie you. If self-humiliation is your thing, calling someone like a friend or your spouse is also an option. 

Learning New (Advanced) Self-Bondage Ties 

Watching tutorials on how to safely act out more elaborate self-bondage scenarios is the best way to learn new techniques and up your solo play to the next level. 

This advanced self-bondage hogtie tutorial is the perfect place to start if you’re looking for something a little extra. If you’re feeling nervous, you can practice tying yourself for the first time while your partner is home...just in case you need help.

Top 5 Self-Bondage Toys 

Because life is better with toys, right?

Handcuffs & Straps by SPORTSHEETS

When it comes to inexpensive toys you want to use to get a feel for the bondage kink, Sportsheets is a great choice. 

Once you become more familiar with self-bondage and want to up your game, you can move up to more expensive, higher quality toys...but for those who want to experiment, these 

Sportsheets products can be a great starting point and their comfortable cuffs and straps can be a great way to experiment with solo bondage play.

Did I mention that a lot of their solo products (like the Bling Straps)  can also attach to other toys that can be used in couples play like their Expandable Spreader Bar? Even when you aren’t playing solo, you can still use them with a partner! 

Pleasure Tape by FETISH FANTASY

Bondage tape can also be a great way to get familiar with solo bondage, and the more you learn the more you can do with it. 

While you can certainly DIY with some duct tape, Pleasure Tape (or any tape specifically designed for bondage) will hurt a lot less to take off and is designed with your comfort in mind.

Not to mention the Amazon reviews for Fetish Fantasy’s Pleasure Tape are pretty convincing...

“Works great for tying my hands, legs and arms - no mess or pain after...” 

“Even goes right over hair and doesn’t pull or stick when coming off!” 

Any Bondage Ropes by TWISTED MONK

Twisted Monk is well-reviewed in the BDSM community for not only having great exotic rope selections, but you will be pleased to note that their rope dying and conditioning process is 100% eco-friendly. Who says kink can’t save the planet? 

Are you a curious kitten? This Twisted Monk’s Curiosity Kit comes with various lengths of rope, safety shears, and an instructional DVD to get you started with some basic ties. 

The Ice Lock by Master Series

The concept of ice locks is simple: freeze the key to a lock in ice, you can’t get free until the lock thaws. 

However, there is almost always some debate when trying to decide which ice lock is best. While DIY solutions with a normal lock and key are an option, there are products out there that are specifically made for freezing and thawing repeatedly. 

The Ice Warden Self-Bondage Time Lock has some mixed reviews, but not in terms of its actual use. In fact, most agree that this product is great - it does what it’s supposed to do. 

However, sometimes you can get a bit of rust around the welding points, as listed in some reviews on Amazon...but Master Series has since updated their instructions of use to explain not to overfill the core, as water can leak during the freezing process, causing rust. 

Self-Bondage Resources 

Because the internet is amazing, in my journey to write the ultimate guide to self-bondage, I’ve come across A LOT of websites.

Sifting through porn to find the helpful, instructional or educational sites wasn’t easy...but it was a task I was selflessly willing to take on. (Just kidding, this post was a blast to write and gave me about a billion new ideas for the next time my husband is away on business...) 

THE DUCHY is one of the best places on the web to learn about rope bondage, and the way they explain things is super simple and non-threatening, especially when you’re easing into the whole self-bondage scene. 

Not to mention their tutorials page is incredibly helpful and can give you instructions on anything from a basic hand tie you can explore on your own time to a more complicated chain-stitch corset tie you can surprise your partner with.  

SUB-SHOP promotes themselves as your one-stop-shop for anything BDSM related, but they also have tons of informational blogs on self-bondage, practicing safe arm and leg bondage alone and even how to totally immerse yourself into a self-bondage scene for role-playing. 

SEXISSOCIAL is great if you’re looking for educational articles on self-bondage.

SexIsSocial has really turned into a great BDSM community with forums, sexual health articles and loads of advice column-type posts. 

LELO isn’t just a stellar toy brand, you know. 

Lelo has an entire blog (called Volonté) that is dedicated to educating people about how their toys work and how to safely enjoy practically any kink or fetish...including this super informational article giving advice for self-bondage play sessions. 

SELFBOUND.NET is a place where any bondage fetish or fantasy can be realized and brought to fruition. Forums, guides, how-tos, instructional technique tutorials - Selfbondage is basically an all-in-one BDSM/bondage playground. 

Added bonus - people can share their stories there, so you not only can learn how to do things yourself, you can get vivid details on how others carry out their solo-bondage fantasies. 

AND LASTLY - YOUTUBE

In this day and age, anyone with an internet connection and a Youtube account can be your teacher, and I highly suggest looking into some of the accounts listed below if you’re interested in becoming more experienced in any form of bondage. 

It can be a fantastic way to instruct yourself on safe self-bondage techniques. 

Some of the best Youtube channels for self-bondage are: 

  • Kitty Rea - instructional videos on self-bondage and easy-mildly difficult rope ties
  • Liv - a bondage fetish model with a few great how-to videos on medium-extremely difficult self-bondage ties
  • All About Self Bondage - reviews and instructional videos on timed release toys and ice locks
  • LexiBound - simple and easy to follow instructional videos on easy-difficult self-bondage ties 

A few practical tips from seasoned self-bondage fetishists… 

“Measure (try it on yourself) and cut the ropes according to the application. For example, the shortest rope for ankles, a bit longer for below the knees, longer for above the knees, longer for thighs, etc.” - Like Ra’s Naughty Playground 

“Rope behind you – When working with rope behind you, a mirror and a Back Scratcher are very helpful. Of course, the mirror allows you to see while you work with rope. But what is the Back Scratcher for? With a Back Scratcher, you can loop it around the rope, grab the rope, etc… to help you work it through.” - Kink Etc

“For rope bondage, a pair of scissors to cut your way out is essential; motivation being that you won’t want to ruin the ropes, but the rope is especially dangerous and it’s easy to suffocate or cut off the blood flow, so keeping a backup is even more important.” - Sex Toy DB