Most people who fantasize about group sex never act on it and allow it to remain a kinky pleasure buried in the catacombs of their sexual deviancies. Finding an orgy is no easy feat as attendees typically operate with a great deal of secrecy. After all, openly talking about how you saw your colleague at a local sex party could end up outing them for something they’d rather keep under wraps. But so long as you’re willing to play by the rules we’re going to guide you through some of the best ways to find an orgy!
Just so everyone's on the same page, an orgy is a sex party in which multiple guests partake in consensual sex. People often interchange the terms swingers party and orgy as they are essentially the same thing. The only major difference is that swinger's parties explicitly refer to couples attending. The minimum amount of people required for group sex to become an orgy is typically five. Only because three is a threesome, four is a foursome and well… five is an orgy.
During an orgy, all type of sexual activity is welcome as long as it is consensual. The hosts will usually dictate the rules and lay strict boundaries for everyone's safety but participants usually engage in oral, bondage, anal, intercourse, roleplay and much more.
Orgies date back as far as the Ancient Greek times where the term is derived. The Greek “orgia” was an ecstatic form of worship for the deities of fertility, wine and religious ecstasy. Now, this sounds like my kind of worship! These gatherings would encourage excessive drinking and sexual acts to connect them to the divine. They believed that expressing these sexual urges would prevent them from emerging in more nefarious ways later on in life.
Sadly, the boring Roman senate put an end to these festivities by passing a decree known as Senatus consultum de Bacchanalibus. This prevented overindulgence at orgiastic gatherings as they were sceptical of these rites.
But enough of the history lesson. Let’s move on to some more important questions.
When most people envision an orgy they imagine a sexual free-for-all taking place in a lavish mansion with copious sexual partners just waiting to be pleasured. We’re not in the business of bursting bubbles but we have to clear up any misconceptions. While it is customary to engage in sexual acts with polyamorous couples, orgies are not a sexual free-for-all. A lot of the time people end up playing with friends and lovers that they have arrived with. Many just find it more fun and exciting to have sex in a very sexually charged environment.
An important question to ask yourself is are you the jealous type? Orgies and swinger's parties seldom allow people to attend alone. So if you have any reservations about yourself or your partner engaging in any polygamous acts, it’s definitely best to work through them before attending. The last thing you want to do is find out you’re not okay with someone having sex with your partner as it’s happening.
Before looking into orgies it’s also good to find out what your motivations for attending are. Sex parties are built on trust and respect for one another so those with malicious or ill intentions will quickly be shown the door. If your attitude shows kindness and curiosity, simply looking to expand sexual horizons and learn, then you will fit right in.
Orgies get a lot of stick in the media with a lot of misrepresentation and parodies taking place. Statistically only a small portion of people take part in sex parties and these are the people we’re interested in hearing from. Although we’ll share some expert advice it’s important to understand that not everyone's introduction to orgies is going to be the same, and that’s fine!
Orgies and sex parties are just like regular parties, to begin with. The sex doesn’t happen right away… unless you’ve arrived late of course. Expect a little bit of drinking and a lot of small talk before the festivities begin. Depending on the event you're attending the organiser or a hired entertainer will excite the crowd with impromptu comedy or sexy games to get everyone in the mood. Consider it a group icebreaker.
Participants in attendance will be well dressed so it’s in your best interest to scrub up nicely. Some parties will have a dress code, particularly if it is a kink or fetish club. If you’re a first-timer you can certainly feel a little out of place so you wouldn’t want to add to it by being dressed for the wrong occasion.
Good personal hygiene at orgies kind of goes without saying but it’s important to mention just to be safe. No sporadic trips to the party after a gym sesh! Make sure that you shower, brush your teeth and are smelling nice before attending. The rules of the playground sort of apply here as no one wants to play with the smelly kid.
Finally, many attendees will be using aliases to protect their identity so to speak. This obviously reduces the risk of being recognised by a fellow orgy-goer in the outside world. Many people might be successful individuals or public figures that wish to keep their dirty little secret. It is of course frowned upon to out people and be too intrusive as everyone is simply there to have fun.
Finding an orgy to attend is arguably the hardest part of the process as it’s not very common to just stumble across them. But, if we place our efforts into the right areas we’re bound to be playing in no time.
Even if you live in a small town there’s a good chance that there is at least one sex club local to you. You might have to do some searching around on the internet but all you need is one successful lead. Sex clubs usually have very strict rules so it might be an idea to call up in advance to hear about their dress code, entrance fees and policies. It’s very unlikely that they’ll just let you walk in off the street unless you’re a beautiful woman, they’re always good for business.
A lot of places don’t allow single guys who are attending alone. If you’re a man, the venue will likely want you to attend with a partner. Some clubs, like swingers clubs, might only explicitly allow couples in. However, once you’ve managed to infiltrate the sex club don’t expect to pull back a curtain on a wild orgy. Most sex clubs will have very civilised and consensual playing that you may not be welcome to join in on until they get to know you better.
Your objective now being part of these sex clubs should be to make friends and get acquainted with fellow attendees. Meeting up in a sex club removes a lot of the guesswork out of finding people interested in exploring their sexual boundaries. So making friends here certainly increases your chances of being invited to play or even an orgy that they might be hosting.
Networking here is one of the best ways of finding an orgy as you might get the chance to play while in the club. Two, you could be invited to an orgy or after-party. Three, you can find some fellow playmates that would be interested in attending an orgy that you’re hosting. So, get searching.
Dating apps are specifically designed to bring people of certain interests together, so why wouldn’t they apply to orgies? There are plenty of dating apps on the market that are sex-specific as well as some that just have a great reach to utilise.
Tinder - Tinder over the years has since become the wild west of dating. The simplicity of the platform coupled with the fact that it’s free has led to numerous relationships of all sorts to be discovered. Our interest in Tinder is due to its gigantic reach. Tinder has over 75 million users worldwide ready to swipe and connect. If we think about it from a statistical standpoint we’d be missing out if we didn’t cast a line in this pond.
It’s not uncommon to be swiping and discovering profiles of couples dedicated to swinging or even individuals looking for some form of a polyamorous relationship. Connecting and talking with a person like this can certainly help get your foot in the door when it comes to finding an orgy.
Kinkd - Kinkd is a dating app specially dedicated to kinky couples and singles looking to find something new in their local area. The platform works essentially the same as Tinder by creating a profile and then swiping past a deck of cards composed of profiles from a radius around you.
The platform acknowledges the fact that not many people want to be outed for their sexual desires hence they include features such as private albums in which kinky photos can’t be viewed unless a request is accepted. The advantage of using platforms such as this, is a large percentage of users are going to have similar interests as you… like finding an orgy.
Feeld - Feeld is a dating app all about the exploration of polyamorous relationships. The app allows you to register individually or with a partner to start making connections. The app is very accommodating for sparking group sexual intimacy. They’ve incorporated a group chat feature to get everyone acquainted and privacy settings that prevent others from seeing you until you like them.
Feeld places a lot of emphasis on inclusivity. The app is friendly to open-minded individuals happy to meet others from all walks of life. So if you’re looking to find sexually positive individuals who would be interested in an orgy, then Feeld might be a good option for you.
#open - This is a platform dedicated to connecting ethically non-monogamous people and their partners, giving them an opportunity to explore various boundaries. #open has a feature that allows users to identify with any labels that they desire. This helps to maximise gender inclusivity for everyone. The app allows users to utilise hashtags to demonstrate their interests and values. For instance #FWB, #Spanking, #Polyamorous and whatever else other people might have in common.
Dating apps are the perfect way to have a quick search on the go so you should definitely consider trying them out if you’re serious about finding an orgy.
Online forums are arguably one of the best places to find an orgy as people from all over the world gather in this one place to learn and share their knowledge and experiences. Most forums are heavily moderated so only posts with good intentions are left for people to respond to. So you should be safe.
Fetlife - FetLife is a social network all about helping others share their kinks. Not only is the forum full of saucy photos, videos and posts. It’s also a fantastic place to find locals interested in swinging and orgies. FetLife has a search filter that allows you to search by kink and region to help you find those hot neighbours interested in group play.
FetLife is also a great place to learn more about your kinks. Experienced kinksters who may be well versed in orgies share important information and insights on what it’s like. This can be a great way to have some of your burning questions answered. So long as your interest comes from a place of genuine curiosity you should be all good!
Reddit - The r/sex forum is a thread dedicated to civil discussions about sex for the purpose of education and advice. If there’s anywhere that you can learn about orgies then it’s here. The Subreddit has over 2.2 million members to interact with so get chatting. The forum does however crack down quite hard on harassment and creepy behaviour so be as civil and respectful to others on the platform.
Even if you don’t find some willing playmates through Reddit there might be some gems of advice on how to get involved.
Hooray! We’ve made it to the dance, but the last thing we want is to be kicked out for any sort of misconduct. Thus here are some ground rules to consider when taking part in an orgy.
Having clear verbal consent when playing in a group is a must in order to maintain a safe and happy environment. Always ask for explicit verbal consent from your partner before acting and only give your consent if you’re comfortable. People often recommend that you steer clear of excessive drinking and drug use as this is known to impair your perception and communication.
Before making your way into an orgy you should have a clear idea of the things that you are definitely not willing to do. This makes it easier to know when things are going too far or decide what you’re looking to participate in.
Don’t take rejection personally and be offended when it happens. It’s all part of the experience and you will have plenty of opportunities to engage in sexual acts with others. Make sure that when you’re rejecting someone else's advances that you remain polite and respectful.
Really take the time to relax and settle into the environment. Get to know a lot of the people around you first before jumping right into sex. Socialising and having good conversational chemistry usually translates into good sexual chemistry. So use your words!
While you have clear boundaries that you won’t cross it’s good to discover more about the sexual grey areas that we all have. When participating in an orgy don’t be afraid to interact with partners that you might not find traditionally attractive. Orgies are a sex-positive environment so there will be no judgement for playing with people of different body types, genders and personalities. Who knows, you might even discover something that becomes a regular part of your sex life.
Above all else look out for the physical and sexual health of yourself and your partners. Safety and security are sexy and what makes this whole thing possible. So, ironically only the most upstanding of citizens should be attending these orgies. So long as you conduct yourself in a responsible and respectful manner it can be nothing but fun!
So know that you’re an orgy expert, get out there and start playing!
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