Hit Me Baby One More Time: A Crash Course in Flogging

The image that comes to mind when I heard flogging was Jaime Fraser being bound to a pole and being dealt painful lashes on his back that took skin and left horrible scars. Scars that left him feeling shame and embarrassment anytime someone saw them. But while that’s the familiar thought when it comes to flogging, that’s not what it’s like in the BDSM world.

The BDSM world is full of misunderstood kinks and displays of affection that those in the vanilla world may not see as affection shared between two people. There are some that see it as a form of abuse. What they don’t see is the high level of intimacy that is required for spanking, paddling, and flogging.

Flogging shouldn’t be something that happens in isolation, when we talk about it in the BDSM world. It is something that is worked up to as tool in the toolbox of the partners partaking in playtime together.

Flogging is still used as a punishment tool in BDSM, however it’s should not be to the extreme that we have permanent marks or scars. It is something to be entered into slowly, practicing your skills every step of the way. We had a saying in band “Perfect practice makes for Perfect Performances.” Same applies here. The more you practice, the more confident you are, the better play time will be.

Definition

The word flogging is a powerful one. I have seen several movies and tv shows that depict someone being beaten with a flogger. While on a list of impact toys, a flogger is lower on the pain scale because the strike is spread over multiple points, it’s still an extreme punishment.

So what exactly is flogging? Researching this article made me curious, especially since I’m such a fan of the band Flogging Mollys. What does the word flogging actually mean? I never saw them beat anyone with a multi-ended whip.

According to dictionary.com, flogging can be defined as using a cane or whip to deliver blows to another, especially as a form of punishment. It can also mean to sell, or to promote. The way we are going to talk about it, in terms of BDSM life, lines up more with the punishment definition. Caning is different. We are strictly going to focus on whip style flogging.

History

Throughout history, people have hit others with loads of different objects. We’ve hit each other with hands, fists, sticks, rods, canes, whips, chains, and floggers. A flogger is a handle with strips of animal skin attached to it. Today we can find floggers with ends made of rope, leather, and fur. The fur type is more for after and is meant to be more soothing. Soothing helps bring the bottom out of the high that is experienced after a good flogging session.

This type of physical connection wasn’t always about corporal punishment. Several ancient societies used it to enhance performance with fertility and athletics. It was used to motivate and hype Olympic athletes in Ancient Greece. It was also used by priestesses on men, I assume to make them feel stronger. Think about modern day boxers and fighters. They are hit in the stomach and chest on purpose to learn how to withstand blows during a fight.

More often than not, it was used as a form of punishment. The Romans used to use flogging before making a criminal carrying their cross to be crucified on. They would attach blades to the ends of the leather to inflict extreme pain and remove flesh from the criminal. The purpose was to cause the greatest amount of suffering possible before their excruciating death.

During the Black Plague, self-flagellation was encouraged to purge your body of sin and therefore keep the plague away. Pain was seen as synonymous with absolution. It was seen the same as bloodletting. Little did they know that all you needed to do was bathe on a regular basis.

When history brings us to the antebellum period in the United States, we find slave owners would whip and cane slaves as punishment as well. They used the rod and the whip to keep an entire class of people under their control.  This was in no way meant for anyone’s pleasure except for the one wielding the whip or flogger.

We’ve come a long way since the time of using physical pain for punishment. It’s now moved into the bedroom in a form that is not nearly as extreme. Boundaries are put in place to prevent injury. It is a way to push pleasure to the limits of the submissive. It heightens the senses and helps the submissive focus on the feelings that are coursing through their skin.

Types

As I went through and did my research to bring you the best information possible, I learned so much. Honestly, that’s my favorite part of writing for them. If it weren’t for Sofia Gray, flogging isn’t something I would have ever cared to learn about. Now, it’s something that has my curiosity peaked and my research helps me have a better understanding and acceptance of others. Just like anything we discuss here at Sofia Gray, flogging has a wide variety of options to accommodate all tastes.

First and foremost, it is important to understand the difference between abuse and being dominated. I want you to understand that someone’s dominance will be stopped with one word. Abuse is very different. Abuse is when the abuser uses force or manipulation to control the other person. Nothing can make the abuser stop except for leaving the situation entirely. Being dominated is something entered to with consent and can be halted at any time.

I get that getting off on either receiving or inflicting pain is a strange concept but hear me out. It comes down to a physiological response that pain brings. There is a release of dopamine when pain is present. Dopamine is the feel-good hormone that our body releases when we are high. Sub-space is in part to a dopamine release. Think of runner’s high. It’s a real thing that happens when you complete a hard run or workout. A good spanking or flogging can bring out that same giddy I’m-on-top-of-the-world feeling.

Having pain inflicted on you in also a way to heighten your experience with Dom and subspace. It can also be a way to gain control when you suffer from chronic pain or illness. A writer here at Sofia Gray details her experience with pain and how impact play helped her reconnect with a body she felt had betrayed her. And from my own experience, a little pain can make you hyperaware of all the sensations that come when you are playing. Instead of the pain controlling her, she learned to control the pain by learning how her body reacted to it.

Surrender is a powerful thing. Probably one of the most liberating things that you can do.

Tools of the Trade

Flogging has several options that you can choose from to play with. There seems to be a natural progression with impact play. You usually start with spanking. As you become comfortable with spanking, you may decide to graduate to a solid paddle, then to one with holes. Flogging is usually the next step or two after you get comfortable with spanking and paddling and you are ready to try something a little more intense.

Some of the types of tools you can use have different handles. Handles will vary in length and the more skill you have, the shorter the handle you will be able to use. Some even have different ends that you can add for different feelings on the skin.

Here’s a quick list of the basic types of floggers and the skill level needed for each:

• Martinet- The Martinet is an Expert Level tool that should only be used after sufficient practice and mastery of lower level floggers. This is a multi-stranded whipping device made of leather.
• Balanced- This one is great for beginners just learning how to wield a flogger. It is fairly easy to control, and the handle is longer. With this tool, the handle counteracts the weight of the tails.
• Knotted/Braided- I like this one for Beginners and Intermediates. You have learned how to control and use a flogger. The submissive is also used to how a flogger feels and may want a little more bite. This one stings more as it has knots on the ends.
• Cat O' Nine Tails- It’s aptly names because it has only nine knotted strings. This one is for extreme punishment and requires that the user be an expert as using a flogger to prevent serious injury to the submissive.
• Ball Handle- This is one that can be used by those at an Advanced to Expert Level. It is usually for when the person doing the flogging wants to use more than one at a time. This is known as duel-wielding, or one in each hand.
• Swivel Handle- Those venturing into using this type of fogger should be at the Advanced to Expert Level. This type of flogger keeps the stress on the wrist at a minimum. It allows for greater ease of movement so that they Dominant can administer strikes faster and with greater intensity. There is no need to twist to flip the tails. The swivel does that.
• Poi Handle- Like the cat o’nine tails and the martinet, this is for Expert Level use only. This flogger is extremely lightweight and delivers a big sting. Care must be taken not to cause serious injury.

Safety

As with any BDSM play, there are health issues that you want to take into consideration. Health limitations of the Dominant and Submissive should be discussed to avoid long term or permanent damage.

The point of play ultimately is pleasure brought on by a bit of pain. The goal should never be to inflict long lasting damage or injury. As you begin the journey from spanking to flogging, you want to learn about what parts of the body to be careful with and possibly even avoid all together. Again, knowledge is power here. Educate yourself. Uberkinky.com has several great guides to spanking and flogging.

Here are some green lights and guide posts to avoid injury:

• Avoid the tailbone, spine, kidneys, face and neck- Seems self-explanatory, but hitting any of these places can cause severe injury and trauma.
• Protect sensitive spots with clothing, blankets, towels or pillows- Again, this is a no brainer, but needs to be said.
• Aim your flogger so that the tips land first to avoid ‘wrapping’- When the ends get wrapped, they must be unwrapped. This can be very painful and traumatic.
• Be gentle with the soles of the feet, calves, genitals and breasts- These are all highly sensitive areas of the body.
• Stop if you notice any symptoms of circulatory problems- As a top, you need to pay attention to how the bottom’s body is responding to each strike. Circulation problems can lead to death.

Here’s are some on the red/stop list:

• Never choose a heavy flogger with long tails. The more weight the more devasting the blow to the submissive.
• Never choose a flogger with braided, beaded or knotted tails- This is more of a not at first one. You can always work up to something of this nature, should you and your partner want to dive deeper.
• Do not use your flogger with multiple partners- One at a time is safer here mostly because of body fluids and such. You want to avoid spreading venereal disease between partners.
• Don’t play without practicing on a pillow/towel rack first- Practice makes perfect in this case. You want to have a handle on how the flogger feels, how it strikes, and how to control the intensity of the sting on something you can’t hurt first. Once you’re confident in your skills, feel free to transfer them to your partner. You should also practice anytime you get a new toy to get the feel of it. Practice can include striking yourself gently to get a feel of what your partner will experience.

Aftercare

Aftercare is so very important with any BDSM play. For me it’s the most important. It makes me more than a piece of ass to my Dominant. The Dominant/Top needs to always care for the physical, mental, and emotional well-being of the submissive/bottom. Lack of aftercare shows that the Dominant/Top is in it only for themselves and this can lead to an abusive dynamic.

Aside from the usual aftercare suspects (cuddles, a glass of water, words of care and affirmation), when someone is flogged, they may need things like cold compresses and balms to help take the sting away and keep them from coming down from the high with a bang. Aftercare is an important step to avoid sub drop. Sub drop is scary and is a very depressed state that can occur after an intense play session.

There a balms made specifically for care after strikes. Uberkinky has one that contains anti-inflammatories to help calm the skin.

Impact Play as Punishment

Typically, impact play is a part of punishments in a Dominant/submissive relationship. For a punishment, the submissive will have broken one of the Dominant’s established rules or perhaps the submissive is choosing to be a bit defiant to get punishment from the Dominant. Either way both of these options require communication and consent to allow physical punishment to happen.

The people involved in the relationship need to talk about and agree on what punishments are acceptable. Here are some questions you can mull over with your partner:

How many strikes will be delivered?

Will the submissive have to count the strikes?

What will be used to deliver the strikes?

Can the submissive be struck for pleasure or is it only for punishment?

Can the submissive strike the Dominant for any reason?

Again, this is just a small list that can be a jumping off point to a bigger discussion. Open communication and trust are required for this type of play. If you want some more information on how to set punishments for your submissive, check this Sofia Gray article out.

Limits

Figuring out when enough is enough or when it’s even too much is another key point of impact play. Limits, both hard limits and soft limits, should be discussed and agreed upon before any impact scene.

Limits are simply what the Dominant and Submissive agree are ok to do or not ok to do. Both parties discuss and decide what they are willing to do/try and how much or each is acceptable.

When figuring out limits, it’s imperative to discuss safe words/and or gestures so that the sub can let the Dom know when they are either over stimulated or if they are in pain that is not okay for them.

I used to think you only needed safe words that could be spoken for use during playtime. And while you should have words that are clear and easy to remember when you start to go to la la land, I learned through my own experience that sometimes, designated gestures are just as important.

During playtime, there may be use of gags or the sub may be in subspace and unable to speak. By having pre-planned gestures or hand signals, the Dominant will know if the sub wants to halt play, change play up, or slow things down. An unsure Dominant is a sure way to dampen the mood.

Contracts

Talking about limits and safe words brings me to contracts. I have written extensively about contracts because I believe in them. They are a key part of a BDSM relationship. It doesn’t need to be formal like a legal contract. It can be as simple as a conversation between the people involve. It’s very important to set clear boundaries and expectations so that no one is hurt physically or emotionally. It would also really hurt playtime if expectations aren’t met.

If flogging or any sort of impact play is something you want to experience with your partner, and you aren’t sure where to start, you can always go with a good, old-fashioned check list.

What I like the most about using a checklist, is you can simply print it out and give one to your partner to fill out on their own time. It takes the pressure off from having to answer or discuss right away. You would also fill one out and then at the designated time exchange and have a conversation about each point on the list.

By using a checklist, you eliminate the guess work. The boundaries and limits become clear quickly in a very black and white way. The checklist also gives you some ideas for things you may have never previously considered.

Big Takeaways

I had never considered flogging as something that could feel good. Personally, it’s on the extreme side for me. I can see that inflicting pain on another can be therapeutic and even cathartic for both people involved. Sometimes feeling pain or having someone cause you physical pain can help heighten sexual satisfaction. That’s why I love a good spanking.

Impact play has many benefits. It can be another level of intimacy between a Dominant and submissive. After all the level of trust that is required to allow someone to hit you on purpose is high. Not everyone is willing to allow it, let alone welcome it.

It is also to remember that being ok with impact play isn’t the same as allowing hitting in an abusive relationship. I saw a very powerful quote about impact play: "In BDSM, one word will stop the pain. In abuse, a million words won’t stop it." This is why safe words/gestures are key. As a submissive, if I pull this trigger, the play halts immediately.

Flogging is at the middle part of the impact play pool. If you like spanking and paddling and you think you’re ready for more, it’s definitely worth going a little deeper into the pool. You may be surprised that you like swimming in the deep end.

---