Everyone loves boobs. We love to look at them. Dress them up in pretty things. The lingerie business is an $8 billion industry. You can dress them in leather and lace and everything in between.
We love to touch, grab, bite, and even slap them around. One of my friends back in college and I used to greet each other with a boob grab at parties. I mean what’s not to love about them. They are soft and curvy. Society associates them with femininity and fertility. One thing I’ve recently discovered how great nipple clamps can be and wanted to learn more.
I did want to find out more though about why we want to torture them. I wanted to try and figure out what the draw to it was. Why does pain heighten the enjoyment of sex? Why do my orgasms tend to be more intense when my nipples are constricted?
So what exactly is breast torture? The best definition that I could come up with was that it’s the squeezing, clamping, restraining, or hitting the breasts in a way that provides both pain and pleasure to the submissive.
Like any other form of BDSM play, breast torture can be minimal, just inflicting some pain or discomfort to the submissive, all the way to the point where marks are left. Sometimes the play gets so intense that there are bruises that last for days.
This type of torture can be accomplished with just about any tool you can think of. You can use nipple clamps, rope, tape, wax. It depends on what you’re in the mood for and what you and your partner have agreed on.
People with a breast fetish have a fascination with breasts, especially their size. Most men feel pleasure in playing with breasts. Showing your cleavage is seen as flirting and is said to add to the fetish.
I was curious about this fetish. My partner is definitely a boob man and so I asked him what he first noticed about a woman. He said first her face, then her boobs. I asked if size mattered and he said yes. That they need to at least be a C cup. I asked about flat chested women and he said they didn’t appeal to him at all. This revelation after a simple question proved how powerful the fetish is. Had I not had a set of big tits, we probably wouldn’t have become more than friends because of his preference.
It’s crucial to talk about safety. Any and all forms of BDSM play require some knowledge to protect the submissive from any physical and emotional harm. The two main components of a BDSM relationship are trust and communication.
Part of the responsibility of the Dominant is to ensure that the submissive’s physical, mental, and emotional health are intact. The Dominant should remain in control during play to keep the submissive safe. They should be aware of how the submissive responds to the strikes and be ready to stop if they hear the safe word or see the safe gesture be used.
You and your partner should have multiple discussions about what you are both willing to try and how far you are willing to allow things to go. A good place to start with breast torture, or any BDSM play for that matter, would be to use a checklist. A checklist is a great way to jump into these conversations by listing different aspects of play and giving each person time to think about how they feel about them.
Once you have gone through the various checklists and decided what you both agree to, a contract may be a good thing. You both, either verbally or in writing, detail what is ok and what is not. Communication is the basis for this type of relationship. The power play dynamic requires that both parties are open and honest about limits. This includes both the Dominant and the submissive.
This is also a good point to bring up safe words. Safe words and safe gestures are meant to be used by the submissive to halt play all together. It protects all parties involved from causing irreparable damage. You can also have words to slow play down for when the intensity is getting to be too much. Remember, a good Dom will stop when the word is used. An abuser will not stop no matter how many words are used.
You’ll have to also keep these things in mind:
We know that breasts are more than what we can see on the surface. When beginning to dabble in breast play, you must remember that they are full of dense tissue that, if damaged, can have long lasting impacts.
One thing to consider is that female breast tissue is affected by the monthly cycle of hormones that the woman they are attached to experience. That means during any point in time of the month, they will change in the amount of sensitivity, heaviness, and tenderness that they feel. What the submissive will like one day, could be way too intense the next, or vice versa.
Another thing to consider about the female breast is that under the skin there is a delicate framework of duct work, glands, and fatty tissue. If any of this is damaged, then the objects of your desire will swell and could get hard.
Also consider when planning play, if your submissive has breast implants. If the play gets too intense you can puncture the implant, creating a serious and possibly costly medical issue for your submissive.
The nipple, the areola, and the skin can bear the brunt of breast play. These are the parts that we can see. The nipple and areola are the dark parts of the breast and the skin is what covers the mounds. The nipple has a high density of nerves and they are super tough. Nipples and areolas were meant for babies to suck, bite, chew and suckle. They can take just about whatever you throw at them.
Piercings can pose a bit of a hazard and so you need to approach some aspects of breast play with caution. The combination of nipple rings and floggers can be very dangerous. If the flogger wraps around the piercing and pulls, you can have long lasting damage that requires immediate medical attention. They can get caught and even thinking of what could go wrong there makes me cringe.
For some other basic anatomy with a BDSM twist, check out this humorous and informative article. He does a really great job of explaining why and how to be careful with boobs.
Why would someone want to have pain inflicted on them? I think that’s the big question for someone that is new to this type of play. One brief Google search of breast torture images brought up images that shook me. Breasts bound so tightly that they are purple. A spike rack that clamps both breasts. Nipples clamped so tightly that bruising occurs. Nails driven all the way into the nipple. All of these are extremes and take time to work up to. They also aren’t for everyone.
As I combed through these images, I became fixated with wanting to understand the appeal. An answer to this question about pain came when I read an article on Sofia Gray. We have learned that pain is associated with something being wrong or broken. We need to take care of the cause of the pain that we are experiencing. But for those with chronic pain, BDSM play can help manage chronic pain by associating pain with pleasure and not desperation.
I myself have suffered from chronic pain and this makes sense to me. It’s a way to deal with pain that doesn’t involve pain killers or trying to be numb. You would become very awake to the sensations that you feel.
You can be reminded that your body feels good. You can take control of the pain with BDSM. It almost rewires how you handle pain. You learn to control it instead of it controlling you. You essentially take your power back.
I haven’t scared you yet. In fact, like me your curiosity is stronger than ever. Now maybe you want to try it. But how?
You don’t need anything fancy to start your adventure with breast torture. You can start with pinching and twisting with your fingers. Your mouth is also a good tool. Hard sucking and biting are a good way to test the waters to see if your sub or partner is interested in pushing their limits.
If that seems to be just fine for your partner and you want to push it a bit further, then head out and experiment. You can branch out with clothespins, paint brushes (soft bristles before you graduate to harder ones). I’m guessing these would feel like a beard against the skin.
If you want to try actual nipple clamps, you can head over to your local sex toy shop or you can order them on Amazon. Simple clamps are great. I know from personal experience. They can be used with your partner or during solo playtime.
As you delve into breast play, you can use rope as a way to bind the breasts to control. One of the easiest ways to bind the breasts with rope is to use a chest harness.
Rope play using either Shibari techniques or Western ways, are not only beautiful, but a great way to begin your boob play. The tightness of the rope and the number of times the rope is wrapped around are both ways to increase the pressure felt around the breasts.
When you begin this type of play, you’ll want to use rope that is at least 5mm in diameter. It’s also good to use either hemp or cotton rope. Twisted Monk makes a great rope. Be sure to have safety shears nearby in case you need to help your sub get out quickly.
Some tips for rope play can be found here.
You don’t have to use rope only for bondage of the breasts. You can also use electrical tape. Shoelaces. Plastic wrap. It will depend on what you have on hand and your experience level.
Remember, you need to pay attention to blood flow to the area that is bound. You don’t want to restrict blood flow for too long because it can cause serious damage to the submissive.
Squeezing is a form of breast torture that can be accomplished using two boards made of either wood or metal and some sort of strap. The boards are placed on both sides of the breasts and then they are wrapped to apply the desired amount of pressure. The boards can be applied to the breasts either separately or together. Dealer’s choice on this one.
There are also devices that can be purchased that come in different sizes, depending if you want them for the breast or the nipple only. As you gain experience with this type of bondage, they sell breast vices that have spikes on them. This will not only give the sub the pressure of the vice, but also there are separate individual pressure points that will give the submissive multiple sensations during playtime.
This is one method of breast play that can literally start with anything that you have laying around the house. Check in your office or in your junk drawer and see what kind of clips you have. Most people have binder clips laying around. These are a great way to pinch the sensitive skin on breasts. You can use one or multiples.
If you do any sort of wood working or handy work, there’s a good chance that you have clamps laying around. The variety of clamps that can be used are endless.
There is a wide variety of nipple clamps out on the market. Here’s a run-down of some clips out there:
Tweezer Nipple Clamps: Just like their names says, they are tweezer shaped and have an adjustable tensioner that slides up and down. The higher the adjuster, the higher the tension. I found these on Etsy and love that you can personalize the baubles that hang off the bottom. My favorite said “Little Slut”. Surprisingly, I found lots of different types of clamps on Etsy. They weren’t terribly expensive either.
Star Nipple Clamps: The best way to describe these is that they are like jewelry for the nipple. They apply some pressure that is equally distributed around the nipple, while adding some embellishment. I found these on Etsy as well, and they are just pretty. You can get them in loads of designs. I saw flowers, butterflies, and stars.
Standard Clamps: These clamps can either have a screw adjuster or none at all. I like these because you can attach them to a chain or rope to pull on both at the same time during play time. There are so many ways to modify these clamps. You can add weight to them. You can attach them to various harnesses. It really depends on the level of experience you have.
Ball Gags and Collar: You can find some clamps that are part of a bigger apparatus. The neat thing about clamps that attach to either the submissive’s neck or mouth is that when they move, they apply more pressure. The submissive has more control over the amount of pain they feel. Collars in the BDSM world are significant. For more information on collars, check this article out.
Electric shock and vibrating clamps: You can find clamps that offer either various vibrations, like a dildo, or that offer electric stimulation.
Just like spanking on the thighs or the ass, hitting the breasts and nipples can be just as satisfying for both parties. There are lots of things that can be used for impact play with the breasts. These range from the hand all the way to a paddle. Here’s a breakdown of each:
Hand: This is readily available and always on hand. You can alternate slapping with pinching. It’s easy to determine the amount of force you are using when you deliver the strikes because you feel them on your hand as well.
Riding Crop: These actually interest me and I am curious as to how one would feel. These are a slip of leather attached to a stick. They are designed to offer one point of impact. You can get them from your local tack shop or order one specifically designed for sexual use.
Floggers: These offer multiple points of impact. You can alternate dragging the flogger on the breast or nipple with strikes. Again, because this toy has long strips of leather that could get wrapped around a piercing, you want to use extra caution. Floggers also require practice and experience before actually using them on your partner.
Canes: This impact toy is a thin rod that has a big sting. The strike is in a small concentrated area and offers the submissive a high level of pain. Canes can be rattan, acrylic, or stainless steel.
Paddles: My fifth-grade teacher used one of these in our classroom. Hers had holes in it. You don’t need to be accurate with this one as it’s quite large and has a large surface area.
Household things: Again, you don’t need anything fancy for impact play. You can use things like rulers, wood spoons, hangers, and even books (they have good weight).
Aftercare is a key component of any BDSM play. The Dominant must comfort and care for the submissive. During intense play the sub usually goes into subspace. Subspace is a euphoric high where you are almost floating. The submissive is highly suggestible in this state and needs their Dom to help them come down.
There are two parts to aftercare, emotional and physical care. Emotional care is simply reassuring the submissive that they are safe. They are cared for. They are ok.
Physical aftercare means the Dominant should get them ice to help minimize swelling. Encourage the submissive to wear soft, but supportive bralettes, sports bras, or very constrictive bras. The high support helps minimize movement and therefore minimizes pain. Some also suggest arnica to help with bruising.
There is so much that goes into breast torture. And there are extremes. I didn’t go into some of the things that I saw when I researched for this article. Some of the videos I watched and images I saw were pretty extreme, but then the word torture is extreme.
My advice to anyone experimenting with or curious about this type of BDSM play should start by dipping a toe in. I wouldn’t jump into the deep end with this one. Mostly because the repercussions of going too far too fast can be long lasting. You can really hurt the other person if you don’t know what you’re doing and that could lead to ending the relationship if the trust is broken.
My last note here is to do what makes you feel comfortable. If you like it and want to test your limits and keep pushing them out there, go for it. Just be sure you do it with a partner you trust and can communicate with.