Sugar dating (often referred to as ‘sugaring’ or ‘sugar dating’) is a dating practice that usually involves a wealthier (most of the time older) person and a younger person in need of financial assistance or care. While some see this as something to be frowned upon, in the right circumstances it can be a mutually beneficial arrangement for everyone involved.
What is a sugar baby?
A sugar baby is someone who receives financial and/or material gifts in exchange for a kind of intimate relationship.
What is a sugar daddy/momma?
A sugar daddy (or sugar momma) is someone who is typically much older than the sugar baby and loves to dote on them (paying their bills, giving them expensive gifts, paying them an allowance) in exchange for a kind of intimate relationship.
How common is sugar dating?
This is way, way more common than you think. According to SeekingArrangement (the largest sugar dating website), there are over 3 million college students in the United States who are “elevating their college experiences by dating successful benefactors who have helped them avoid student debt and secure a better future.”
This platform and its attached blog (accurately named Sugar Baby University) even tracks how many sugar babies (both male and female) along with how many sugar daddies/mommas are using their services at one time - and these numbers will floor you.
Is sugar dating (or being a sugar baby) illegal?
Sugar dating is oftentimes compared to sex work or prostitution, which, in some places, is illegal. So the question: is being a sugar baby illegal?
According to Elena Makes Sense of the Law: “The relationships formed between a sugar daddy/momma (D) and a sugar baby (B) are contractual in nature: B promises companionship and potentially sexual relations in return for material benefits promised by D. A clear contract. But what exactly does B promise and what exactly is D paying for? Is it sex? Is it having someone live with you in your house? Is it having someone sit across from you at a dinner table? Or having someone take a walk in the park with you every Sunday? Theoretically, it could be all of the above. So the nature of the contract will differ from arrangement to arrangement.”
That’s a lot to unpack, so let’s just make it simple. Should D (sugar daddy/momma) provide promised material benefits (cash/trips/etc) expressly to B (sugar baby) in exchange for sexual relations, this would be prostitution.
However, there are lots of “loopholes” here. In the case of an allowance, for example - this is not a set price in exchange for sexual favors, this is merely an allowance given per week or month. This means there is not necessarily a set price for a set activity, which is what prostitution would be.
How do you get started as a sugar baby? Apps and websites, of course. Even if you decide (eventually), to take your sugar dating IRL, the easiest way to match with a sugar daddy/momma is through online websites geared towards exactly that.
SeekingArrangement - the official sugar dating website
“SeekingArrangement delivers a new way for relationships to form and grow. Sugar Babies and Sugar Daddies or Mommas both get what they want when they want it.” A site dedicated to “providing relationship on your terms”, SeekingArrangement is one of the most popular sites for sugar dating.
Signing up is free and upon signing up, you will be asked some basic questions such as your sex, sexual orientation, and who you are hoping to meet through the platform. First, you join, then, you define (adding photos, biography, explaining your arrangement expectations, etc), then you arrange. According to SA, members (on average) find their ideal arrangement within 5 days.
What’s Your Price - bidding on dates with attractive people
What’s Your Price is a great site for arranging paid dates (otherwise referred to as pay-per-meets). Their tagline is “the online shortcut”, and as far as I can tell, it really is. No hassle, no bullshit - just straight down to the arrangement. Signing up is free and people on this app have been described as “down to earth” and “real”. This platform does not accept escorts. They also suggest you will be able to “find a date in three days.” This platform is also geared a bit more towards dating to find a good long-term match, with one of their captions reading “stop wasting time or waiting for Mr. or Ms. Right to come along.”
Private Sugar Club - The most exclusive sugar daddy website
This site is one of the top platforms for those looking to delve into the online sugar baby lifestyle. It sets itself apart by offering a safe space for sugar babies to connect with generous sugar daddies, all while maintaining privacy. With the ability to upload content and receive direct tips, it simplifies earning potential without the need for personal payment exchanges. The platform's streamlined payment system further enhances user safety and convenience, making it the ideal choice for anyone seeking a straightforward, secure, and financially rewarding online sugar relationship.
Instead of being physically available for dates or trips, an online sugar baby will make themselves digitally accessible to their matches for a price.
This could mean phone calls, video calls, or even just texting. It could mean sharing naughty videos, nudes, or it could just be about intimate conversation. Really, there are so many different things people look for in a sugar baby, and if you’re able to transform into what they need (without leaving your apartment) - all the better, right?
Reasons why online sugaring is more and more common:
There are lots of forums and threads (like this one), where experienced “digital sugar babies” share how they’ve faired in the world of online sugaring.
The one major “con” of online sugar dating? Text receipts.
Unless you’re using an app like Snapchat (where your messages disappear as soon as the person sees them), there could be a “paper trail” connecting you to your client. I think, with in-person-sugaring, the sugar daddy/momma would take this risk, being as anything paid for would be with their credit card/cash. Of course, you have to worry about being seen together, so there are risks to both if privacy is the main issue.
Speaking of privacy and safety...your safety is the most important thing. While sugaring IRL, safety can mean arranging very public first meetings and keeping things professional from the start. While sugaring online, however, safety becomes more about protecting your information and your anonymity (if that’s the way you choose to go). There are a few ways you can ensure your safety online, as well...
VPNs are helpful.
A VPN (virtual private network) is a tool that you install on your computer (or smartphone) that essentially masks your IP address, making your online actions virtually untraceable. VPN services also establish secure and encrypted connections, which makes messaging secure and confidential.
Of course, you can see why this would be helpful if you’re into sugar-dating (as both a sugar daddy/momma or a sugar baby). Norton, Tunnel Bear, and NordVPN are some of the most common and trusted VPN services around.
Real photos but fake names.
Part of the allure of a sugar baby is the intimacy and connection, especially when you’re an online-only presence. While, of course, you do need to remain comfortable and confident in sharing your personal photos with your clients, there is something to be said about using your real photos under a fake name or alias. With Skype, Facetime, Snapchat, etc - your clients will most likely want to see you in “real-time” at some point, but this doesn’t mean they need to know your real name and other personal information. Using fake photos can land you in a bit of trouble, as pretending to be someone else isn’t great (for many reasons), and at some point, your sugar daddy/momma may feel betrayed if they find out.
Contracts and confidentiality.
Just like how some people choose to draw up and sign BDSM contracts, sugar dating contracts (even just discussed and signed between partners, nothing legally binding) is a good way to ensure all things are communicated about and agreed upon before your arrangement begins. This is a good way to ensure your confidentiality and safety, as well as theirs.
How do you actually get paid as an online sugar baby? Instead of wining and dining you, treating you to expensive hotel stays and physical gifts, your sugar daddy/momma is going to treat you to things like wire transfers and gift cards.
There are several ways to get paid as an online sugar baby, including things like:
Each one of these methods of receiving your payments or allowances has pros and cons.
Paypal (and Venmo, who is now owned by Paypal) are super convenient, instant apps that allow you to collect payments and protect your personal information. However, there is an electronic record, then, of every transaction to and from your account, which may create a problem when it comes to taxes if you’re not claiming this income.
Bank transfers are hands-off and effortless, but also could lend to tax trouble if you’re not claiming this additional income and end up being audited for some reason.
Gift cards or prepaid credit cards are extremely popular in sugar dating because they are virtually untraceable (just like cash), really easy to reload every month and you can even use it at ATMs to withdraw cash to pay your bills. One big con with this is that if you lose it, it’s a physical thing and you’ll have to ask for another.
PO Boxes (post office boxes) are an option if you’re interested in having physical items sent to you but still want to protect your privacy. This opens you up a bit in terms of risk, as you do have to go to the post office and get the items, but it can also really enhance your relationship. Being sent things like lingerie, jewelry or letters can increase your intimate connection with your client, which is why some prefer to do this.
Are you an adult content creator? Perhaps you have an OnlyFans or are already getting started on becoming an amateur porn star. Or maybe you’re someone who sells used panties on the side and is looking for even more ways to earn cash online...whatever your situation is, sugaring is something that could benefit you when combined with whatever else you’ve got going on.
In the age of cyber sugar babies, it’s entirely possible for you to meet some of your prospective clients on apps like OnlyFans or even Twitter while promoting the other work you do. If sugaring is something you’re open to, be sure to mention it on your profiles!
Surprising to some, Instagram has actually become a place where sugar babies are modeling their skills and assets (you know what I mean) to find sugar daddies/mommas. There is a kind of whole underground sugar-dating network on Instagram if you which hashtags to search. Try #sugarbaby, #sugardaddy or #sugardating. Sliding into DMs on Instagram in the sugar dating world must be a whole new kind of game.
Business Insider has a really interesting article/interview with someone who decided to become a sugar baby, and they have some tips for anyone interested in getting involved in sugaring.
Do some soul searching: “why do I want to be a sugar baby?”
Are you someone who wants a cash allowance in exchange for a few dates? Or do you want your bills to be paid and to receive gifts for more of an intimate, long-term commitment? Maybe you’re someone who wants to accompany rich and generous men on lavish trips and be shown off. Having a clear idea of what you want and why you’re doing this will not only help you pair with the right people, but it will help you achieve your goals and make you feel fulfilled in this quest.
Additionally, you need to consider how much time you want to spend with your sugar daddy and if your current lifestyle gives you the freedom to do the things you’re hoping to do here.
In it just for the money? That’s not a great tactic…
While sugaring can be a good way to earn extra cash, being in it for the money isn’t the best strategy for a few reasons. Most common, it’s not exactly stable. While you may find a sugar daddy that you can rely on, that is a good partnership for you and you know will be a long-term commitment, this can take a while to find.
Additionally, financial desperation can make you vulnerable. Malicious people who have no intention of providing for you might see you’re in a tough spot and try to take advantage. There is also the possibility that being desperate for cash might make you rush into things or compromise some of your limits - which is also not ideal.
Online sugaring means you can have anonymity - which is very helpful.
In the digital age, there are countless ways to make money anonymously - sugaring is one of them. It’s quite common practice to keep your sugaring identity separate from your real-life identity (similarly to how some of our sellers here on Sofia Gray will create an online persona to sell their used panties). In some cases, you don’t even need to disclose your real name if you meet your sugar daddy in person.
You will find, as well, that some sugar daddies guard their identity like this as well. To keep your anonymity, you could sign up for anonymous messaging apps (Kik, Snapchat, WeChat, Signal, etc) and some sugar babies even have a separate phone (and phone number) for their sugaring.
Terminology is useful - learn it.
This world has a language all its own, and it will be really helpful for you to learn that straight away. For example, M&G, the sugaring community’s term for a first date, stands for ‘meet and greet.’ This is typically a fairly quick meeting or date and doesn’t always involve the exchange of cash but the sugar baby can be provided with a small gift (stuffed animals, books, maybe a small amount of cash).
PPM, which is a standard type of sugaring relationship, stands for ‘pay per meet’ - in these types of arrangements, the sugar daddy/mama will give the sugar baby a specified amount (agreed upon beforehand) for each date. Alternatively to the PPM schedule is a type of “allowance” that the sugar baby will get per month.
“Experience daddies” are the type who don’t pay in cash but instead give you experiences - this can range from expensive hotel stays to all-inclusive trips. “Splenda daddies” are sugar daddies who are on a cheaper budget than most. A “salt daddy” is someone who fakes being rich and generous in order to catfish sugar babies.
Set terms before any meeting.
“To get what I was looking for out of a sugar relationship, I had to become comfortable bringing it up with men. There are plenty of men on the site trying to get laid free, so I learned to not assume they'd provide any financial compensation on their own,” explains the freelance writer (mid-30s) who has shared her experiences with Business Insider.
While it can feel a little awkward and clunky to bring this up the first few times, you eventually get used to how these conversations go and they begin to flow more naturally.
Making the right kind of profile can draw in the right kind of sugar daddy.
Signing up for various sugaring dating websites can be simple: you create an online persona, describe your personality, write some charming sentences that could draw in the attention of the kind of men you’d like to be paired with. While anonymity is helpful, there should also be a hint of sincerity and honesty to your profiles. Using your original photos (without filters), explaining a bit about why you’re interested in sugaring and what you’re looking for out of this partnership will help you match with someone who is wanting to provide you with what you need.
Did You Know We're The Biggest
Sell Now
Create Your Sexy Shop In Under 2 Minutes
Make Money Selling Your Used Items
Buy Now
Find Lovingly Used Panties, Toys & More
Explore Your Kinks With Our Sexy Sellers
Did You Know We're The
Sell Now
Create Your Sexy Shop In Under 2 Minutes
Make Money Selling Your Used Items
Buy Now
Find Lovingly Used Panties, Toys & More
Explore Your Kinks With Our Sexy Sellers
