Not many people are strolling around the neighborhood these days, and most of us are keeping our fun between our own four walls. That stillness can drive even the most creative folks a little bonkers, and it may seem like there’s not a lot to do to take a night from ordinary to extraordinary.
When you and your partner are cooped up at home together, working from home with no pants on, and in each other’s orbits, it may not seem like there’s a lot to do or much of a reason for a special date night. But staying in doesn’t have to be a death knell for your personal and romantic life. In fact, a new norm just means you need to establish a new kind of date night – and those date nights in don’t have to be dull.
Whether you’re on a budget or unable to leave the house, there’s a lot you can do to add some extra spice to your relationship without stepping outside that front door.
Sure, you may be keeping it at home, and the date may be free, but that’s not an excuse to have your date in socks and pantsless, with a pizza stain on your sweater. There’s a lot of fun and beauty you can cultivate by adding a few extra minutes of effort to your night. It begins with embracing the mood.
Unless your date event calls for optimal lighting, don’t use the normal overhead lights on the big night. When all the edges of your books, the clothes you haven’t folded, and your work desk stick out in the harsh lighting, it’s a little difficult to transport yourself to paradise. If you can, turn the main lights off and opt for candles or side table lamps to create a real ambiance.
Dim lighting does more than just hide the humdrum of everyday life; it makes you both scoot closer together and enjoy each other’s company shoulder to shoulder. With a little atmosphere, you can jettison your night out of the same old living room and into your fantasies without spending a buck.
Even if the end goal is to take it all off, it’s good practice to use a home date as an excuse to wow each other. After all, most of us only dress to impress our selves, our social media, or our lovers – and you can flaunt it to all three from your own home.
No matter how long you and your partner have been together, home dates are the perfect opportunity to make things extra special. Your partner fell in love (or lust) with you as you are, and there’s no sexier version of you than your truest self. Dress up in a way that has you feeling yourself, and they’ll be wowed in turn. You may decide to put on makeup, wear only your sexiest lingerie, or just throw on that shirt you feel extra fly in. Whatever you choose, do it in a way that screams you – and encourage your partner to be the same.
It feels good to seduce each other, and to wear outfits you know will drive your lover wild. Agree beforehand to stun each other with your best looks, so the night feels extra special.
Even if you’re both together at all times, you should still treat a date night like a special occasion. Go beyond dressing up and dimming the lights. Start with the basic idea of honoring your time.
It may not be a dance night at a club or a concert that you’ve been dying to see, but the date night you schedule is worth honoring. If someone tries to make plans with you when you’ve already scheduled your date night, don’t reschedule the date. It takes priority. Even treating it like the most sacred part of your calendar for the day will transform the evening by building anticipation and putting you both in a respectful headspace for what’s to come.
When it comes to sex, our culture is ashamed of itself. We avoid the topic and refuse to look at it head on. Harmless kinks like selling panties are pushed to the corners of the web, and even vanilla exchanges are somehow seen as deviant things that just “happen,” as if we don’t have agency over them.
We do. So schedule a sweet date night, and set aside some time to canoodle afterwards, too. You and your lover are well worth it.
Spa days are for treating yourself, and sometimes that means you have to take that fun indoors. To recreate the vibe at home, pay attention to the details. People in the spa industry do, and so should you. Make sure your bathroom and bedroom are both clean, and put on your favorite sexy or soothing playlist. Have candles or mood lighting throughout the place to help you both feel like you’re somewhere far beyond your bedroom and bathroom. The little details go a long way – like hanging your robes right where you can grab them, or hiding all the usual detritus of dirty socks and dental floss to transform your bathroom and bedroom into sanctuaries.
For an ultimate indoor spa day, start by sharing a bath together. Even a smaller tub can fit the two of you with a little imagination. Light some candles, sprinkle in some essential oils, or get your skin nice and supple with epsom salts or a soothing bubble bath.
Don’t stop there! When you’re out of the bath, you can give yourselves a face mask. If you’re the crafty type, try making your own together beforehand. Wash the mask off, and if it’s appropriate, follow it up with a moisturizer. Let yourselves both enjoy feeling pampered, and be sure to let your good smells linger with some essential oil, incense, or a candle.
After that bath and face mask, you might be feeling a little dry – meaning it’s the perfect opportunity to moisturize each other’s bodies, head to toe. Take turns giving each other a slick, sensual massage using your favorite oil or lotion. Take it to the bedroom. Mood is everything, so be sure the room has already been set up to be its most seductive. Once you do, don’t be surprised if the night takes a deviant turn as you start rubbing down your partner’s every curve.
Quick, easy, and bound to be unforgettable, an online strip or lap dance routine is just what the doctor ordered. If you and your partner haven’t gotten down to shake it for each other before, you’re missing out on a thrilling opportunity to see each other’s sexuality in a whole new light.
Get a little help online. YouTube is ripe with videos made by professionals eager to show you how to unleash your inner sex gods.
Don’t take yourself too seriously as you learn. Levity is key when you’re trying something new. Have fun, practice, and take feedback from each other on how to move your body best. Go through the dance routine until you’re comfortable doing it. You may want to practice the whole video through twice to really nail it. Once you feel ready, take turns performing it for each other. Choose a song (or go with the one they use in their video), and enjoy grinding against your partner and building anticipation without taking any clothes off.
While this intimate date night isn’t necessarily a sexual act that will start the night off sizzling, there’s a lot to say about this unique take on getting close. Learning a new song puts you both in a space of receiving. You’re learning something new together, and creating in lockstep. It’s vulnerable and bonding.
If one of you plays an instrument like the guitar, piano, ukulele, or glockenspiel, you can use an evening to make some magic together. Music inherently draws you closer, as you both bend your heads to read the lyrics together, or lock eyes to figure out harmonies. If you’ve never done it, it’s hard to articulate the tenderness and wonder that comes from learning your favorite song and playing it together.
Music awakens a special place inside. To tap into the magic, go for a song that means something to you both. Choose one that you both danced to a lot back in the day, or the one you were singing when you met at karaoke. Whatever it is, lean into the memories, and let the night carry you wherever it does.
Again, I’m being bold here in what I’m suggesting, but I want to dig beyond the basics, and manis and pedis have their own special allure.
Maybe I’m biased – it’s no secret that I love a little attention lavished on my tootsies, and this is a blissful way to get that ball rolling.
If foot stuff is your thing, you know what I’m getting at here. But even if it’s not, manicures and pedicures are a great way to pour love on your partner. To make sure you do it up right, watch a tutorial together first. That way, you’re not skipping any essential steps for the softest hands and feet.
Don’t let you or your partner’s insecurities about nail polish get in the way, either. If they’re not the kind of person who wants polish, they can still enjoy a manicure. Get into the zone as you trim their nails and cuticles, massage their hands and feet, and buff out those callouses.Take turns taking care of each other’s feet. Start with a foot soak, clean up those nails, and when you’re all done, wrap it up with a calf massage that winds its way higher, and higher, and higher...
Life may have taken a turn to the indoors lately, but that doesn’t mean we have to provide all our own entertainment. In fact, what we could all use is a little bit more art – and to spice up your night, you may just want a little good old fashioned burlesque. Performers worldwide are taking their art to the digital stage. Watch their YouTube clips, or catch a live, remote performance to watch your favorite performers slay onstage. When you see them look their finest, you may be inspired to steam it up a little more for your partner. For this event, dress up in your sexiest clothes and get in the mood before the show even begins.
There aren’t many sexier ways to spend your night in than a virtual sex party. Orgies are amazing. But for many folks who are monogamous or vanilla, engaging in a sex party can feel stressful IRL. So many boundaries, worries, and conversations to have.
Enter the virtual sex party. Perhaps the only good thing to come out of quarantine, these sex parties are a fun way to get frisky without anyone crossing your personal lines and with zero risk of STIs.
Through a group Zoom party, you can have fun together and watch the night unfold on camera after camera of pleasure. This is both a great way to get it on casually and a fun way for folks to dip their toes in those sexy waters without stepping out of their comfort zones.
It’s kind of like interactive porn, where everyone is getting sexy to the same beat you are. Sex clubs around the world are scheduling virtual sex parties, and it’s an easy way to get it on with folks from around the globe.To find one that’s coming up, browse your local sex club’s website, or scope out big and notorious ones around the world for an unforgettable virtual night.
Not all dates are a one-off event – and this is the idea that keeps on giving. Perfect for folks who already have a kinky sex life, and dreamy for people who’ve always meant to spice things up, a date night jar can add a lot of flavor to your bedroom.
Even the thirstiest couples can get lost in work and errands. You may have ambitions of trying the kinkiest things in the book, but when the moment comes, you fall back on routine. That’s okay. Routines have a delicious time and place. But once a week, consider trying something new.
Take an old jar you’ve cleaned out (a peanut butter jar works great), and write down different sex ideas, positions, kinky things, and toys to use on strips of paper. Fold each piece up so you can’t steal a peek. Then, schedule a date.
The day before the date, pick a paper out and see what awaits you. While it might be fun to reveal your sex date idea the moment it begins, having a day to anticipate it and let the eagerness pulse through your body adds a lot to the pleasure of it unfolding.
Go with things that can be done with minimal prep work that you’re both aroused by. For example, if you don’t have appropriate rope, don’t mention bondage or rope play until you get the right tools.
Some ideas to get you started? Trying for a nipple orgasm (reading up on it first helps), having sex where both of you are blindfolded, roleplaying for the first time, playing with wax, getting in on impact play, using all five senses in the bedroom, dressing up for each other, shower sex, positions you’ve both never tried, or incorporating ice cubes.
To get inspired, comb through sex articles (like this one), or lists of positions, and add things as inspiration strikes. Set yourself at least an hour and a half aside for some intentional fun, and if you’re already finished before the time is up, then lay in bed together and enjoy each other’s company. Talk through how the new play went, and brainstorm ways to improve it next time. Who knows? Just talking about it may rev you both up for round two (or three) before your date is up.
Even if the thing you tried wasn’t something either of you are dying to try again, you’ll be glad you gave it a whirl and put that wondering to rest. Plus, the more you and your partner are comfortable talking about trying new things, the easier any future conversations about fantasies will be down the line.
What’s spicier than sitting in bed and perusing all the kinds of toys that could be adding to your sex toy drawertonight? Without even leaving the bed, you can go sex toy shopping online with your lover. Whether you’re inducted into the hall of kinks, or you’re just stepping beyond missionary, this date night is made for you.
It’s a thrilling way to engage in deepened dialogue with your partner about sex.. This date works because it takes the pressure off both. Instead of sitting down and saying, “Let’s talk about our fantasies,” browsing toys lets you both uncover daydreams as they arise.To make this night really zing, avoid the more popular sex toy sites like Adam & Eve. While their selection is incredible, you can both get lost in the weeds with so much to choose from. Instead, browse smaller boutiques like Unbound Babes and Spectrum Boutique. Their selections are smaller, while still covering a broad range of sensations and kinks, opening you and your lover up to different experiences and conversations, without getting weighed down by 7,604 different kinds of egg vibrators.
Listen, our culture talks a mean game about watching porn. When you can catch clips on your Twitter feed right next to Ellen Degeneres’ musings, it may seem like there’s no other way to consume sexy content.
But here’s the thing: porn occupies two of your senses. Sight and sound. If you’re alone, that’s fine. But if you’re looking to get down with a partner, it’s a little distracting when two of your five primary senses are busy.
Close your eyes, and you may not know what’s happening on screen. Glue your eyes to the video, and your partner isn’t getting the delicious attention they deserve. So what’s a person to do? Try audio erotica.That way, you get the mood rolling, enjoy porn, and have a sizzling time, all while your eyes remain free to rove over your partner’s sweet body.
This is a date where dressing up for each other goes a long way. Take care to look the part of your own ultimate fantasy, and have your partner get goosebumps just by looking at you. Their ears may be occupied, but their eyes are all on you.
To find audio porn, you have plenty of options. Sites like Quinn offer free audio content (Jaimee Bell compares it to Spotify for audio porn), but the quality of the content is inconsistent. For a guarantee of quality and diverse plots and gender configurations, check out Dipsea, a leading erotica website. The only catch? Quality doesn’t come for free. You’ll have to pay a monthly subscription, kind of like Audible for erotica.
But for the right kind of pleasure, aren’t you worth paying a few extra bucks a month?
A steamy date that puts you both in the mood for something extra special can happen tonight. Life is short, sex is fun, and you and your partner deserve to be having the best of it. So why not give it the attention it deserves? You don’t need a restaurant or a thriller to keep each other entertained – all you need are a few candles, some oil, and your sweet bods, ready for some action.