Can I really orgasm through nipple play?

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Confession: I’ve been criminally under-servicing my nipples. To be honest, I like to think of myself as pretty sexually hep. I mean, writing about and researching sex is my job, isn’t it? But last week, my world got rocked by what was a bold new discovery for me: nipplegasms. Nipple orgasms. Orgasms from nipple stimulation.

Don’t get me wrong. I’ve known that playing with your melons (or tangerines, if you’re me) is a pretty stellar part of any bedroom game since I was first fooling around with girls in high school. But what I didn’t know was that they can not only enhance more common orgasms – they can even play the starring role and offer up their own Big O.

According to an older study shared by Men’s Health, some thirty percent of women have reported orgasming through nipple play alone. And honestly? For all we know, that number could be much higher, considering how few people I know who have ever tried to have a bona fide nipplegasm. Think about it: if we all gave it the old college effort tonight (and texted our friends to do the same), I wonder how those statistics would play out.

Unfortunately, it’s hard to say how many of us can orgasm through nipple play alone since we’ve all but written them off as a background sensation that, at best, enhances the main act. In reality, there’s a wild, nipply world out there full of folks who’ve been orgasming thanks to their nipples alone – and tons of us have been missing out on the fun.

How’s this possible? It turns out that these bad boys actually boast eight hundred nerve endings, and they release oxytocin when stimulated. And since they’re already such a treat to play with, touch, and tease, it’s not a stretch to imagine how focusing your attention on that supple and tender skin could create ripples of pleasure with time. 

What does a nipplegasm feel like?

Orgasms are our own tiny miracles, each and every time. What makes them so unique is that even when our anatomies look almost identical, the way we’d describe how it feels to cum varies – if even only slightly. It’s part of what makes our sexual experiences unique. Nipple orgasms are no different. Just like how folks describe clit orgasms, there seems to be no unified description of the big crescendo from some nip stimulation. One thing everyone agrees on though is that while familiar feeling, a nipple orgasm is completely unique from anything they’ve ever experienced.

To try and pin down the sensation, Cosmopolitan got curious and interviewed three different women who’ve had the pleasure of consistently orgasming through nipple play. One woman said that if you have breasts, they may feel “almost like they’re swollen.” Yet another said that her nipple orgasms were sharper and shorter than clitoral ones, and that they increase sensitivity down south for continued play. My favorite rundown however, was the woman who said that it “feels somehow deeper” than a genital Big O, and while not as strong, “more satisfyingly pleasurable.”

So if I’m getting this right, a nipple orgasm evokes full, sharp ripples of pleasure that leave you primed and ready for other kinds of orgasms later? Consider me sold.

Who gets nipplegasms?

Always down to boggle us with the kind of quirky research gets funded, science is at it again. Specifically, scientists have something to say about the nipple’s power to grant orgasms. Researchers put orgasms to the test in the hopes of helping those who can’t achieve them. What they found about women’s nipples was thrilling: MRI brain scans showed that when cisgender women touched their nipples, the sensation triggered the same parts of the brain as when they touched their vaginas and clitorises.

And while pleasure from nipple stimulation used to be put down as just some evolutionary psychology bull about women only feeling pleasure because their bodies linked it to breastfeeding, the truth is more complicated (and exciting). Instead of stimulation firing from our nipples to our uteruses and then to our brains, the pleasure travels straight from those nips, meaning this kind of orgasm is a one of a kind experience.

But does that mean only cisgender women and gender nonconforming folks get off from nipple play? 

Not by a long shot.

Although it’s true that folks assigned female at birth enjoy nerve endings from their nipples that spread further through their bodies, (and all that estrogen helps with nipple sensitivity, to boot), nipple play is something all of us can get behind. 

For instance, trans* women get a kick out of it too, thanks to a rush of estrogen in HRT leading to upped nipple sensitivity. And cisgender men (plus everyone else not on HRT) can still have fun with it. Folks across the sex and pleasure world say that men might even derive the most pleasure from it, since they’re not  used to that part of their body getting any love. 

Basically, no matter who you are and what your body looks like, if you’re down, your nips can take the center stage in your bedroom.

How do I do it?

Okay, you didn’t just come here to learn all about nipple play in theory, did you? You want to hear about it in practice – hard, perky practice. Well, just like any kind of pleasure and play (from BDSM to enjoying used socks and panties), there isn’t a cookie-cutter way to go about achieving this new kind of Big O – but there are a few things to keep in mind as you get started.

If you want your first nipplegasm, you may want to start by exploring on your own, but don’t be shy to ask your GGG partner. It may take a little longer to climax your first time, so be patient. Like anything else, practice makes perfect, and the waves of joy will only come easier as time goes on.

And like clitoral orgasms, G spot orgasms, and any other way you get off, don’t underestimate the power of your mind. I think we all know from experience that if you believe in your ability to cum, it’s way easier to reach those peaks than if you go in riddled with doubt. 

Since orgasms are so wrapped up in our how we look at ourselves and our bodies, setting the mood can go a long way in loosening us up. Before you go for it, make sure you’re in the right headspace to enjoy this totally new type of orgasm. Solo or partnered, you deserve to whip out some candles and throw on your favorite sexy songs (my personal jam that gets me in the mood in a flash? Drive by Melissa Ferrick). Make sure your bedroom is clean and that the atmosphere is prime real estate for exploring this new and thrilling sensation.

For folks who have a clitoris, the way to go about having a nipplegasm will sound familiar: start slowly. Diving straight in can be too sensitive and kill the mood. Before even heading to your nipples, experiment with different depths of touch around your chest and slowly work your way in. Try light feelings with your nails, rhythmic pressing, and circular massages.

No matter how you pleasure yourself, oil is your best friend. Personally, I think you can never go wrong with coconut oil. When you massage, work your way inward and listen to your body. What spaces are soft, and which places send tingles through your body? Pay attention to the space in the center of your chest too as you build up tension. By building up the excitement, you’re building up to an orgasm before you even reach the main stage. 

After a few minutes, begin to rub and gently stimulate your areolas. Don’t let yourself touch your nipples just yet. And once you feel like you’re about to burst, you’re finally ready to start playing with your nipples. When you get there, be open to what sensations work best. Do you like a light touch? Tickling, teasing, or light pinching? There’s no wrong way to explore these thrilling heights.

Feel free to try different textures and toys, as well. Some nipplegasm aficionados recommend playing with your nipples through silk and other deliciously soft materials. If you’re playing with a partner, they may want to begin using their mouth at this point. Have them lick, blow on, suck, and even nibble  your chest and your nipples alike.

Let the pressure build and keep going until you feel a release of ripples in an unmistakable orgasmic peak. After that, who knows? You may just be ready to keep going and cum again and again in different and exciting ways.

Remember: nipplegasms are for everyone

It can be easy to write off a nipple orgasm as something for people with breasts, but nipple sensitivity varies from person to person, and it turns out that all of them are worthy of a little lovin’. Just get started slowly, exploring the whole chest area and slowly teasing up to the nipples.

If you’re exploring this sensation with someone who’s totally new to the world of nipple play, it’s really important that you take it extra slow. By playing slowly and building up the tension, you can introduce them to totally new sensations. If they’ve got it, chest hair is your friend here!

Just like with folks a little more used to chest play – but even more gently – try tracing your fingernails across the plane of their chest. Since this is new territory, you may want to even start at the ears, neck, and collarbones (another under-served part of the body that deserves some serious attention). Kiss, lick, suck, and ease your way down. Even if their areolas are much smaller, lavish some attention on them. 

For even more sensory play, use silk, ice, and feathers to see what sensations work best for you (or your partner). Remember, every single body is so deliciously different that (as long as everyone’s consenting) there’s really no wrong way to invoke those pleasure gods. 

People who have had top surgery, gotten implants, or had any kind of chest procedure may experience decreased nipple sensation, and some folks may have major dysphoria with nipple play. If that’s you, see how it feels to experiment solo, free of judgment – and talk to your partner about their experience and desires first before you start trying to bring them to these new heights.

Don’t be shy – use toys to get you there

Many of us use all kinds of fun toys to help us improve or just achieve orgasms, and there’s no shame in incorporating some toys into this new kind of play, either. While some folks are toy-free, lube-free, and vanilla as Nilla Wafers, I say that if there was ever a time to experiment with the joys of buzzing, thrumming, humming, and tweaking, it’s now. The 21st century may have been a doozy in some regards, but in the world of sex toys, it’s a miraculous time to be alive. 

Nowadays,  we’ve got more than just your standard vibrator to work with. There are quality nipple play toys that can help you achieve this new and titillating (sorry not sorry) kind of orgasm. Depending on the kind of play you’re into, there are ones suited to every palate.

Nipple suckers

Exactly what it sounds like, these toys build anticipation and deepen your vibe by upping sensitivity in your nips thanks to a pulling sensation created by some good old fashioned suction. For some simple play, you can try these silicone nipple suckers that come in two different sizes. Small nips and big nips rejoice! The suction helps enhance your solo game and partnered sex alike. 

While these may not bring you to orgasm by themselves without a little extra stimulation or manipulation, they’ll definitely awaken some sweet thrumming in your bod and can familiarize you with nipple play, so you’re more eager to get down to business with yourself or your partner. Once you try the basic nipple suckers and decide they’re for you, you can always upgrade to vibrating nipple suckers. The combination of pulling and vibrating may be exactly what you need to achieve an intense   nipplegasm. 

To make sure you have the best time and your nip toys stay on uninterrupted, add a little chapstick to the toy’s rim to help up its suction game.

Clamps

If you know you like it rough, those nipple suckers may not do the trick. For an extra BDSM punch, try classic nipple clamps to take your sex life in a totally new direction. 

These days, you won’t want for nipple clamp options. I wasn’t the only one to wrinkle my nose at the monstrosity that is the Fifty Shades of Gray franchise, but apparently these adjustable nipple clamps (or nip clips, as one review lovingly called them) with weights are worth the annoying branding. That’s because they are perfect for diverse breast sizes that may be uncomfortably strained - not in the sexy way - by chained nipple clamps. Reviews say they love how easy they are to adjust and that you can change the intensity depending on your desire. 

And hey, if the little branded charm on the end bothers you, users say you can just remove it. Regardless, the toy’s versatility helps you go up and down in intensity and see discover what you’re into, making it a good option for experimenting with nipple orgasms.

If you want something a little more OG, there are still plenty of toys that do the trick - like these clamps. They’d make even the most grandmotherly of bedrooms feel like a dungeon, and the chain connecting the clamps means your partner can pull you around and lead you toward your naughtiest fantasies. 

No matter what your clamps look like, you could have found your new favorite way to play.

Vibrating toys

Before taking the plunge and forking over cash for a nipple-specific toy, experiment using your bullet vibrator (or the bottom of your electric toothbrush) on your nipples. Even with a vibrator, play the same way you would manually: start on the edges, work inward, go slowly, and tease yourself. Sometimes a bullet vibrator makes us think we can bang one out quickly, but hold back. Relish in it. When you’ve finally brought yourself up to a certain height of anticipation, play with the vibe around your nipples, upping the intensity slowly and going until you reach that Big O. 

Afterward, if you discover that vibrating is the thing for you, there are tons of options for vibrating toys specifically designed for nipple stimulation – and most of them are hands-free, so your hands can get busy elsewhere.

Like all vibrating toys, finding the right combination of good clamp pressure and strong vibrations at a decent price can be a challenge. However, if you’re mindful of what else you use and look at reviews, you can find gems. A decently reviewed option includes these vibrating nipple clamps. I like that over 130 people have reviewed these with overwhelmingly positive results, so you know most people go home happy. The vibrations are supposed to be powerful, and you can adjust between three modes and seven pulses, giving you 21 special ways to get frisky.. 

Nipple piercings

I’ve had a pierced nipple (yes, just the one) for years – and let me tell you, I won’t be taking it out anytime soon. While a piercing-free nip has hundreds of nerves to tantalize, the pierced one has the added perk of internal nerves being stimulated as well...perfect for a little tongue action. 

But don’t just take my word for it. Many people agree that a nipple ring is not only a great statement piece to up your power game in the sack, but it also just feels great to play with. If you decide to get one, let it heal up and then start experimenting with the different sensations it offers. 

A nipple piercing will change your play for the long haul, and that’s why sometimes a single piercing works best. That way, you aren’t denying yourself either sensory experience. Whatever you do, here’s my number one nipple piercing advice: avoid sweaters those first few months.

What are you waiting for?

Now that we all know that nipple orgasms are possible with a little bit of patience, an open mind, and a zest for experimenting, I’m having a hard time understanding why we’re all still at our computers or phones when we could be playing with a brand new orgasm. 

In one surprising one Men’s Health article they cite an older study claiming that 29% of women say they’ve orgasmed through nipple stimulation. Although I have a hard time believing that (seriously, I asked my friends, and nobody had heard about this!), it still goes to show that some pool of ladies out there is enjoying this kind of pleasure without telling the rest of the world.

No matter the stats these days, there’s no reason we shouldn’t all be playing with our bodies a little tonight to unlock this whole new kind of orgasm. It turns out our nips are two untapped pleasure beacons just waiting to be used for all kinds of fun.

There are myriad ways to help someone orgasm thanks to thorough nipple stimulation – and just like all kinds of sexy play, each and every body offers something a little bit different. To find the right touch that drives you wild, all you really need is a little time, a good attitude, and the drive to experiment.