Picture a raspberry, so soft and ripe it almost wilts against your tongue. Or chocolate, melting as you suck on a piece to make the flavor linger. Maybe a slice of cucumber, crisp between your teeth, the fresh and bright flavor bursting on your tastebuds. With flavors and textures igniting each sense, eating can be a highly erotic experience.
It’s no surprise then, that my deviant little mind has been reflecting on all the creative ways a kitchen is the best room in your house for getting down. Life is short; we deserve to blend all the things that tantalize our senses in one squishy embrace.And apparently, I’m not the only one that feels that way. The average U.K. family spends about eight years in one home, and over those years, folks get frisky an average of seven times in the kitchen. Other things happen there, too – nearly two thousand kisses, six life-changing decisions, and 192 heart-to-heart discussions. Kitchens see a lot of action, good and bad. To counter the 384 arguments that your kitchen will eventually hold, maybe kitchen sex, in all its messy glory, should feature more often in your menu rotation.
Forget the bedroom – the kitchen is where it’s at. While bedrooms offer one surface to get frisky on, your kitchen has an almost unlimited range of places to sprawl against with your lover. A good kitchen, especially one with a dinette and fat kitchen island, is brimming with expanses and surfaces perfect for exploring new angles and toys with your beau.
Of course, the first spot that comes to anyone’s mind is the kitchen counter. With half an imagination, that sprawl of counterspace is transformed from a prep surface to built-in sex furniture, ready for you in a flash. These surfaces are flat and wide, a perfect place to lie back for your partner to wedge themselves between your thighs. To get a better angle for a height difference, a counter is a perfect perch in the heat of the moment, or even a spot to brace your hands when the power of your desire gets you lightheaded.
If you and your partner are into some power play, the cupboards are the perfect place to rest your hands when your partner tells you to lift them above your head. That way, your body is opened up to receive whatever they are about to give.
All that counter space gives you plenty to work with – even the tiniest kitchens have something extra for you to grab onto. If I can have kitchen sex in my camper, then so can you.
Don’t stop at the counters, baby – you’re just getting warmed up. If you’ve lucked out with a nice kitchen, then you might just have an island gracing the center of the room. That space is not just a chopping block anymore. Instead, think of it more like a display plate, or a stage to splay your partner across. Since it’s in the center of the room, embrace the feel of the open space around you, and unleash your inner exhibitionist (even if nobody else is watching). Try crawling on top of each other like animals, and use the edges as bracing points. Or, for a kinkier twist, leave your partner there solo, blindfold them, and run your fingers across their skin. Relish in the glory of their body out on display before tracing their hips, ribs, and inner thighs with an ice cube, then watch the goosebumps trail in your wake.
Don’t have a kitchen island? You can make magic beside the fridge instead. With so many handles and a tall, vertical surface, your trusty fridge is a prime place to lean your bod against. Whether you’re utilizing the freezer handle for some serious sex olympics, or you just need yo lean back as you receive the best oral of your life, the fridge is an incredible sex support – and I haven’t even gotten to the magic that awaits you both inside it.
If the foreplay sprawls along the counters, the island, and the fridge, you may eventually find yourself on the kitchen floor. I know, I know. Almost every kitchen floor has crumbs lingering in the corners, but if you’re planning on getting frisky in the kitchen, there’s no point in holding back for fear of a few stray crumbs. Kitchens are messy, sure, but so is sex.
When you put the two together, tasty, messy goodness happens. Think about it. The kitchen floor is the best spot in the house to throw some food into the mix without worrying about chocolate syrup, kombucha, or beer sloshing out of the belly button or dribbling off the arms and onto the floor.
Best of all, if and when you both end up a sticky disaster, you don’t have to worry too much about the mess; the room you and your lover lost control in just so happens to have the biggest sink in the house. Slather too much honey on your chest? You can clean it up in a snap. Whipped cream caked between your fingers? Not a problem. The sink itself may not be a prime place to get it on, but once you let loose in the kitchen, you’ll be grateful that you chose to go buck wild in a room built to withstand a mess.
With all that surface area to work with, the kitchen is not a place to stick to Old Faithful in the sack. Instead, you have opportunity after opportunity to try new positions and angles. When you have so much variety at your disposal, you can only do kitchen sex justice when you tap all the potential brimming to greet you on surface after unexplored surface.
A countertop, kitchen island, and dinette are all ideal places to perch your partner when you’re starting out. When your partner’s up there, they’re on a literal pedestal, like a god of pleasure, giving you one truly divine view and the perfect position for touching them in all the right places.
For some people, having your partner up on the countertop or table makes oral a breeze. But if you’re up on the counter receiving, the sight of your lover on their knees, although a wonderful sight, isn’t exactly new. To wow your lover on the counter, try bending over while standing to give your partner a delightful view of your back as you go down on them. They can run their fingernails along your bare skin or wind their fingers through your hair while you work your magic.
As wonderful as sitting on the counter for some lovin’ is, it’s not the only way to receive stellar oral. Instead, you may find yourself standing in the kitchen, leaning back against the countertop, while your lover is on their knees. The countertop is still a perfect place to brace your hands against for extra support. I know that when I’m lost in the heat of the moment, my knees often buckle as I surrender so wholly to the sensations. Kitchens give you ample opportunities to use your upper body strength to your advantage, so you don’t collapse in a heap when your legs are trembling. And even if you’re not so overwhelmed by pleasure you struggle to stand, you still can use the counter as a place to rest your hands, or just lean back for a more relaxed posture.
When you come up for air, the counter is still a perfect place to explore each other’s touch with some skin-to-skin lovin’. If you’re sitting on the counter, wrap your legs around your lover. Pull them close, and enjoy the press of your partner’s body against the length of your own while making out. Go slow and tease each other, grinding your hips, and savoring each sensation.
Eventually, if it’s something you and your partner enjoy, try using the counter during penetration. Depending on if you’re short, tall, or holding a dildo (read: cucumber) you may need to stand on your tiptoes or adjust your angle. The person on the counter should sling their legs above your shoulders for the deepest penetration.
Feel extra frisky? If you’re on the counter and want to lift your legs at a certain angle, the cupboards or drawer handles may be the perfect place to rest your feet, so long as you don’t put too much weight on the drawers.
If you’re the muscular type, try lifting your partner off the counters to take it all while standing up. Have your partner wrap their legs around you for a steamy makeout session or some intimate penetrative sex. Use the fridge for support and press the lifted lover against it – just don’t bother stopping when the magnets clatter to the floor.
For a whole other angle, try bending your lover over the counter. This position feels great for all parties involved, and leaves your lover open for cunnilingus or anilingus, too. If your partner has a clitoris, this is also a great angle for them to touch themselves, or to get stimulated by you at the same time as penetration.
Such a simple act can feel like the most unleashed and raw passion, one without any boundaries or thoughts or feelings about what you’re doing.
In true animal mode, you’re opened up to all the things you can be enjoying together or all the other things to do together.
All of this talk about positions and locations is well and good, but countertops and fridges alone are only the beginning of what a kitchen has to offer in your love life. It’s more than just a series of surfaces perfect to boink upon. Chances are, your kitchen is stocked with utensils, tools, and devices that, with a dash of imagination, transform the room into your own private love dungeon.
As an avid fan of all things impact play, my favorite part about the kitchen for sex is all the things waiting for you to use as a paddle. If you’re new to impact play, or if your sweet booty is only looking for a light paddling, try a spatula or wooden spoon. Different materials will yield different results, so try metallic and rubber spatulas alike.
Can you take a real pounding? Impact champs, rejoice. One of the best paddles happens to be your wooden cutting board. While intense, a wooden cutting board with a handle is practically built for the job. Fair warning: this impact play isn’t for newbies or the faint-hearted.
No matter if you use a rubber spatula or a wooden cutting board, always establish a safe wod for your impact play. While spankings are exhilarating, it can be dangerous if you haven’t laid out how to voice your boundaries, desires, and hard stops.
Impact play isn’t the only thing to love about your DIY kitchen dungeon; it’s also the best room in the house to engage in a little temperature play. Since you’re cooking and cooling things in there all day long, it makes sense that there are a wealth of choices at your fingertips waiting to find their way onto your partner’s bare skin. Experiment with warm and cold items along each other’s naked bodies.
Grab an ice cube from the freezer and trace circles on your lover’s breasts or thighs, slowly working your way inward to their most sensitive areas. See how they react when you follow the cold with the warmth of your mouth.
Dial up impact play, oral, or temperature play with an instant blindfold. Grab a clean dishcloth and wrap it around your partner’s eyes. It may not be the perfect fit, but the spontaneity and animal passion of improvised toys will leave you both so satisfied, you won’t want to break away to the bedroom for your eye mask.
Whatever tools you end up using on each other, just be sure you run them all through the dishwasher when you’re done – you don’t want your next dinner guests being unwitting parties to your kink.
I teased you at the beginning of the article, didn’t I? Promising this litany of foods and textures to add to sex, and making you wait until the very end before I talked about the flavors to pull off your shelves and pour onto your lover.
All the tools for impact play and temperature play are amazing, but no list of kitchen joys is complete without dishing on all the ways to incorporate food with sex. I’ll just start with the best and say this: in my home, I have coconut oil in the bedroom, shower, and kitchen. If there’s a better lube out there, I don’t know it. I’m menopausal; lube is a must in my life, and I’m not lying when I say I don’t think I could live without coconut oil during sex.
If you’ve never done it before, give it a go next time you play in the kitchen. It’s slick, it’s slippery, and the unrefined kind adds a nice flavor to your partner’s juices. Grab that tub of coconut oil and go to town – but only if you’re not using a condom. If you and your partner are using condoms or dental dams, opt for a water-based lube instead, since oil weakens latex and can make condoms break.
Coconut oil isn’t just for penetration, either. Take some and massage it into your partner’s chest, thighs, or booty and lose yourself in the moment as your hands sliding over their slick, naked bodies.
As delicious as it sounds, oils aren’t your only friend in the kitchen. Many foods pair well with sex and taste best when eaten off a naked body. Opt for sweet and light flavors over savory or spicy ones. One classic choice is syrup: maple, chocolate, or maraschino cherry sauce all are great things to dribble along your body for your partner to lap up.
Be careful where you put it, though. Although it may sound fun to spray some whipped cream right up on your clitoris, hold up. Our vaginas are complex systems, and getting a bunch of sugar up in there can lead to a nasty infection – the exact opposite of what you need to keep your sex life running smoothly. If you have a penis and are only hooking up with someone else who has a penis or just plan on swapping oral, then by all means, go to town. But if you’ve got a vulva, lay off on the direct application.
Instead, be liberal in drizzling these delights nearby. Draw a line of honey along your inner thigh for your partner to lap up, or place a dollop of it on each nipple. That way, you can still have your partner lavish attention on your erogenous zones and everything nearby. If you’re really worried they’ll miss the oral memo, make a trail from your neck all the way down to just above your clitoris. If you make an exceptional mess, don’t worry: you can always sell those panties stained with caramel for a little extra.
All these foods are another opportunity to incorporate some temperature and sensory play. Try warmed honey on the skin, or feed your partner a chilled grape while they’re blindfolded. Blend your passions together in one saucy, fruity mess. Feeding each other can be just as appealing as licking agave from each other’s hips.
Experiment with fruits, arguably the most sexual food group. If you aren’t sure what fruit is best, you can never go wrong with fresh berries or tropical fruit. A ripe mango is a straight up sexual experience. To see what I mean, try feeding slices of it to each other, sucking the juice from your partner’s fingers, and notice how its slickness mirrors the velvet of your partner’s tongue.
When your sex life escapes the routine and delves into the experimental, magic happens. That lush creativity finds its way into every corner of your life. But to make it really work, communication is essential. The more you and your partner can talk about what turns you on, the sooner your sex life will bloom. Before you know it, you’ll find your partner on the dining room table, blindfolded and covered in warm honey, as you trace their inner thigh with an ice cube. Surprise your partner with your tender openness as you experiment with kitchen sex, and time and again, they’ll reciprocate with joy.
The kitchen is the heart of every home. The oven, the clock, and the fridge all hum together to create a beat that begins and ends every day, even buzzing through the dark while the rest of the home is curled in their beds. These days, we’re all spending more time than ever in our homes, and with it, many of us are growing more familiar with every cranny and cupboard of our kitchen. Cooking offers moments of silence when we need it most, or gives us an objective task that’s easy to solve after a stressful day.
But don’t let this room become mundane because it’s familiar. We don’t just linger in the kitchen because it’s the most functional room of our home. It’s because good food is nourishing. It sustains us, day after day, and vibrant flavors are just another way to remind ourselves what we’re living for.
A nice port, some dark chocolate, and homemade bread dipped in olive oil all transport us somewhere new, even if we’re standing in front of a stack of unwashed dishes. So use that magic. You and your partner should tap into the wellspring of potential just waiting for you in the kitchen, and lap up the bounty your creative lovin’ provides.
And hey, if you get a little honey caught in those soft hairs between your thighs – there’s always the sink.