Sex & Feet: How to Explore Your Foot Fetish During Sex

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Sex and feet...they just vibe, you know? While you may not initially think so, hear me out. 

The fetish for feet is way more common than you think. 
According to Justin Lehmiller, Ph.D. (a research fellow at the Kinsey Institute and author of the blog Sex and Psychology), as many as one in seven people have an affinity for feet. 

Foot fetishism has been deemed a paraphilia (a condition where the individual’s sexual arousal and satisfaction are dependent on fantasizing about a certain thing - in this case, feet), but it can also be a casual kink. 

There’s a scientific reason for it, too. 
Dr. Vilayanur Ramachandran (a neurologist, and professor of neuroscience and psychology) has spent years studying and analyzing the neural mechanisms that cause certain human behaviors. In this Big Think article (which I also wrote), I explain that Ramachandran found a scientific phenomenon that could potentially explain why people become sexually aroused by feet. 

It all starts with Wilder Penfield, a legendary Canadian neurosurgeon. He created something called the Penfield homunculus, which is essentially a body-image map that explains how different sensations in your body correlate to various parts of your brain. The sensory perception area for your genitals is directly adjacent to the sensory perception for your feet. Close quarters, and all that - sometimes things get crossed. 

The reasons (and ways) someone can enjoy feet are plentiful. 
This is a kink or fetish that can take many different forms. Some people imagine licking feet and sucking toes, others get off on the smell of feet, some prefer to massage them sensually as part of a whole-body worship kink. Some people like feet decked out in jewelry (anklets and toe rings) and others like them bare. Some like painted toes, some like au-naturel. 

As Men’s Health puts it: “no matter what someone likes about feet, just know that it’s completely healthy and normal.” It doesn’t make you weird or some kind of sexual deviant. You’re just a person with a foot kink. 

Bringing up your foot kink with your partner…

Being truly honest about what you want in the bedroom can be difficult, whether you’ve been dating 5 minutes, 5 months, or 5 years - it’s really the same. Underneath whatever kind of relationship you have, you (and your partner) are individuals who have varying needs and desires. 

When it comes to specific things like having a kink for a certain body part, there are ways you can bring it up with your partner that feels natural, effortless, and less intimidating for you both. 

This Vice article explains it really well: “Sex is not (or ought not to be) a battle in which one party is the victor and gets to do what they desire.” Neither is it a place where desires should be suppressed. There is a way to introduce new things into the bedroom in a fun, exciting, and low-stakes way for everyone involved. 

There are some definitely DO NOT’s when it comes to the kink talk.
Although you’re not asking for something as “intense” as fireplay or dripping hot wax on your partner’s body, people can still have issues with incorporating foot play into the works. How do you bring this up in the most non-confrontational, effortless way possible? 

When you bring up including foot play during sex, there are some for sure DO NOT’s on the list…

  • Do not bring it up in a way that puts pressure on them (example, saying “I need this to get off” - even if it’s true, will make your partner feel obligated even if they aren’t comfortable with it.) 
  • Do not bring it up during sex. This (like many other kinks) needs to be a separate, out-of-bedroom conversation before it moves into the bedroom. 
  • Do not feel embarrassed! Having a kink (especially a foot kink) is fairly common - likely way more common than you realize. While you may be nervous to bring it up, never be ashamed about voicing your desires with your partner. 

On the other side of that, there are some things you definitely should do when talking about a new kink with your lover.
You want to ensure your partner feels comfortable with the conversation and that you both come out of it feeling more connected. 

When you bring up including foot play during sex, there are some for sure things you should DO…

  • “Schedule” this talk. While you don’t need to put “explain foot fetish” on your agenda, you should absolutely ensure you have enough time with your partner to really dive into this - why you want it, how you propose to include it during sex, etc. You can even ask if there’s anything they’d like to do during sex as well, making this lead into a bigger conversation. 
  • Be clear about what you’re looking for before the talk. If you can’t clearly explain what you’re hoping to get, how will your partner know? Take some time to think about what it is you’re hoping your partner will try with you and give some specific examples during the talk. 
  • Make sure they know there is no pressure on them. There are countless ways to satisfy a foot kink during solo play. If this is really something your partner is not interested in, make sure they know that there is no pressure on them to do it if they don’t want to. 
  • Suggest starting small. With foot kinks, “small” is pretty easy - just ask if they’d like a foot massage at some point! Getting a chance to lotion up your partner’s feet and massage them can not only relax them, but it can satisfy you, too.

Things that may surprise you about foot fetishes…

When it comes to feet, like most other kinks, there are a lot of misconceptions that can be tossed around. Let’s smash some of those myths, right now. 

Myth: “small feet are best.” 
Truth: to each their own. 
Some like them big, some like them small - there really is no “one fits all” (oh, the pun...please forgive me). Really, though - whether you have small or large feet, there is always someone out there who will love them. 

Myth: “having a foot fetish is weird.” 
Truth: more people than you think like feet the way you do. 
As I’ve mentioned, the fetish for feet is not an uncommon one, with as many as one in seven people having a thing for them. I was curious, so I took a poll on Twitter - and my results suggest that having a foot fetish isn’t nearly as uncommon as most people think. Check out the results here

Myth: “it’s all about the feet.” 
Truth: there’s so much more to it than that. 
While feet are the main event, many people find shoes, boots, and heels to be erotic. Stockings and pantyhose can also up the foot play games. The truth is there is so much more to it than just your feet. 

Myth: “they need to be pretty.”
Truth: some like it messy. 
From sploshing to squishing toes in the muddy sand at the beach, this kink or fetish for feet isn’t always about clean and proper feet. While some may like a perfectly pedicured set of toenails, others may enjoy watching you get a little wet and messy - again, it’s totally a personal preference kind of thing.

Myth: “it’s all about using them during sex.” 
Truth: foot kinks can extend beyond sex. 
Adoring your partner with a foot rub and getting them to stroke you with their feet can accomplish the same thing. Foot kinks aren’t just about using feet as a tool in sexual activity, it’s about connecting with the thing that turns you on the most. In the case of many foot fetishists, that’s feet in any form. 

You could be watching her paint her toenails and have the same level of arousal as when you’re massaging them yourself. Some people like simply looking at feet and this is enough to get them off, whereas others need actual physical’s all about personal preference. 

How to explore your foot fetish during sex

Now...onto the good stuff. How, exactly, can you and your partner explore your fetish for feet during foreplay and sex? Well...the ways are plentiful. 

The foot job 
Oh yes - the foot job. While you may not want to outright start with this (more of a work-your-way-up-to-it kind of thing), it had to be first on our list because foot jobs are the first thing someone with a foot fetish is likely thinking about. 

The missionary-style foot job: 
The easiest way to enjoy a foot job is to have your partner lie back in a missionary-style position with their knees apart and the soles of their feet together. You can then slide your feet between and thrust your way to climax. Go slow, go fast - it’s entirely up to you. This is also great for people who aren’t totally sure about foot play, because really, as the partner, all you have to do is let your penis-having partner use your feet as they would any hole of yours. Bonus points? You can use a toy on yourself and give them a show while they do it. 

The “side of the desk” foot job: 
If you have a desk (or a kitchen table) at home, you’re in luck. Sit in a chair with your legs on top of the surface, your feet dangling just over the edge. Have your partner stand and thrust in between the pressed-together soles of your feet. This one is an absolute must-try, in my opinion. 

The tease foot job: 
If the goal isn’t to climax and simply use your feet for stimulation on your partner, sit on the bed and lean back, propping yourself up with your hands behind you. Lift your legs and place your feet around your partner’s penis and stroke him. Crinkle your toes into the sides of his shaft and gently move up and down - this sensation will feel amazing. 

A sensual massage 
Foot massages are the best way to indulge in your foot fetish, in my opinion, because even if your partner isn’t super into it, they’re getting a massage. They can relax and play with themselves while you massage their feet. Add some beautifully scented lotion or essential oils into the mix and it’s heavenly for everyone. 

Treat yourself (or your partner) to a home pedicure. 
Why not include the whole package in that massage and paint your partner’s nails? This can be a romantic and sensual way to include your foot kink in something as simple as a Netflix date night. Lying on the couch, their feet draped across your legs, massaging them with lotion, and choosing a beautiful (and sexy) nail color to paint on during the show. What an evening. 

Take some foot photos 
Feet pics are so underrated and a wildly popular thing on the internet (which we’ll get more into later). Again, another great option if your partner isn’t too convinced about incorporating foot play into the works, because it’s fairly low stakes for them. Paint their nails, give them one of those sensual lotion massages and then take some photos of their feet to play to later. Again, everyone wins with this one.

Suck those toes. 
“Now we’re talking.” 

  • Every foot kinkster reading this right now 

Sucking cute little toes into your mouth and kissing your lover’s feet during foreplay can be one of the most erotic experiences. Naturally, there is something humbling about having someone adorn your feet with love and affection. And you, as the lover, get to kiss and lick and suck the toes of the partner you admire. What’s not to love about this one? 

Foot (and body) worship is a must. 
The best thing about having a partner with a foot fetish would have to be the absolute worship that happens to you because of it. If your partner likes your feet, you’re in for a world of worship. From kissing and licking to praising how cute everything from the arches of your feet to your cute little toes are. 

Including foot worship into the mix is a great way to make both partners feel great, and you can definitely include some D/s things into this mix: like commanding your slave to worship your feet, for example. 

Degradation and foot play. 
“Lick my boots, slave.” 

Anyone want a little degradation thrown into the mix? You got it! The great thing about feet is, like I said, there is something rather humbling about kissing someone’s feet. Getting down on your knees and bowing down to kiss someone’s feet can feel like the ultimate sign of respect or worship, so including this in a kind of degradation D/s play can be a kind of “killing two birds with one stone” thing when it comes to feet and sex. 

Tickle me there. 
Let’s talk about sensation play. Similar to how pinwheels can be used to raise goosebumps and all the shivery good-vibes, you can use things like feathers or your fingertips to trail along the bottom of your lover’s feet and give them a good tickle. This is a great foreplay move, if I do say so myself. 

Incorporate D/s play into your foot play. 
Dominance, submission, and feet - yep, that’s the stuff. Once you and your lover become a bit more experienced in the foot play scene, you can start to include it in your D/s dynamic, if you have one. Something as simple as picking out your submissive’s nail color for their upcoming pedicure or ordering them onto their feet to kiss your boots when you come home - there are tons of ways to include D/s power plays into your foot kink. 

Make foot porn. 
Why not film yourselves indulging in foot play? Playing around with different POV shots while jerking your man off with your feet or filming a homemade porn movie with tons of foot worship sprinkled in not only allows you to enjoy the moment but ensures you can relive it as many times as you want! 

Dress them up. 
Anklets and toe rings are a great way to spice things up. People with foot kinks sometimes have very specific tastes - maybe they prefer a certain nail color, maybe they prefer an anklet to be worn, maybe even a cute little toe ring. Some people even prefer foot jobs with socks or stockings on. Have fun with it! 

Dress them down. 
On the opposite end of that, there are some foot kinksters who just like a very simple, basic pair of feet. Keeping your nails trimmed and the soles of your feet soft are a great way to play on the minimalistic foot kink vibe. 

Include foot play into sex positions that allow it. 
Placing your feet on your lover’s face while they fuck you in a missionary position is definitely where it’s at (if you’re into this sort of thing.) There are quite a few sex positions that could easily incorporate your lover’s fetish for feet at no extra hassle for either of you! 

Check out some of the best foot fetish sex positions on Cosmo! My favorite from the list? “The Platform” - essentially 69 but your partner switches between pleasuring you and sucking your toes. Yes, please! 

Cover them with cum. 
The grand finale can be even grander when it comes to foot play - just cover your lover’s feet in your cum. Whether you’re masturbating in front of them, having “typical sex” or using their feet to jerk off into, there is something so satisfying in having your partner covered in your cum - and if you’re a foot fetishist, having your cum all over their feet and in between their cute little toes is something you’ll love. 

How to explore your foot fetish while going solo 

Now, if you’re not partnered up or your partner isn’t into your foot kink, there are still loads of ways you can satisfy this urge! From forums to foot porn, you’re in luck. 

All of the foot porn.
Yes, that’s right - foot porn. There is so much (I mean, so much more than you’d ever think) foot porn out there. Really, there is no shortage of it. Men, women, big feet, small feet, dirty feet, clean feet, you will find what floats your boat, I promise. 

There’s a whole internet’s worth of foot photos out there. 
It’s not just porn, either - there are tons of foot photos out there to be found! Interested? Ellie, another writer here on Sofia Gray, dove feet-first into the online world of foot pictures and you can read that article right here.

Ask your favorite for a custom foot photo or video. 
Do you follow an influencer or sex worker on social media and notice that they take custom requests? Why not ask for a foot photo or video! This is something that’s pretty non-invasive (you’re not asking for a sex video or sexting or something more involved) - just a simple video of their feet. Most influencers would do this for the right price. 

Get a little auto-erotic. 
You can absolutely be turned on by your own feet. It may not be common, but it is entirely possible to get a little self-eroticism going on and explore the world of self-care and appreciation for your feet. This can be using your feet in ways that make you feel good or it can be just simple upkeep - making sure they are smooth, soft, and clean. Think of this as part of your sexual wellness regime. 

Search out others who have the same fetish. 
One of the best things about the digital age is that you are never really truly alone. There are always people out there who enjoy some of the same things as you, and finding them has never been easier than it is right now. Searching forums for people with similar kinks or reaching out to someone in the online sex-positive community can help you not only find new ways to indulge your kinks but also embrace them as well. No shame, here.