Pushing It to the Limit with Anal Stretching

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Have you ever heard of a size queen? AKA, someone who’s into really huge dicks?

Well, some people want even more than that. They’re into double penetration, huge sex toys, or fisting. And in order to get to a point where you can make these wonders happen, you’ll have to stretch things out down there.

What is anal stretching?

Anal stretching is participating in activities where you stretch out your ass. You can use butt plugs, dildos, hands, or cocks to accomplish this task. 

In the world of kink, anal stretching usually refers to extreme stretching to take large objects or extreme scenarios. The normal training that everyone does for anal is generally called anal training.

You’re generally participating in anal stretching if you’re trying to insert objects that are more than 2.5 inches in diameter. There have been reports of people training as high as 10 inches anally while remaining safe (but let’s be real, there’s always someone who can take something bigger).

Here’s what people like about it

Anal stretching offers lots of exciting new sexual opportunities and allows people to be more adventurous with what they put in their asses. Here are some things that turn people on about having their ass stretched.

Fulfilling fantasies

Double penetration or fisting are common fantasies, but most people never actually go for it and try them out. They’re worried it’ll hurt, or that they’ll cause damage to their body.

If you stretch your ass, you’ll be able to take all sorts of different things up the ass. You can stretch to work up to a goal with a partner, or you can do it to just make sure you’re ready when you get an invite to your next orgy.

Anal gaping

Stretching your anus can let you and your partner experience the super hot phenomenon of anal gaping. After you have sex for a long time or stretch your asshole, it might remain open for a certain amount of time. Sometimes this lasts only a minute or so, but depending on the activities, it might stay open for up to an hour.

If your anus gapes after penetrative sex with a cock, it generally makes the owner feel really good about the size of their dick. Which can be a very kind gift to give.

The challenge of it all

Some people view sex as a race to be won. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing! If you’re determined to try new things sexually, you’ll avoid falling into a rut and getting bored.

Anal stretching involves setting and accomplishing goals. You pick objects of certain sizes and then work your way up until you’re able to fit them inside you and use them properly. Some people join online communities where they share their accomplishments with anal or vaginal stretching. Going up a size is a powerful draw once you’re into it.


Some people like the way that anal stretching looks. It shouldn’t make your asshole look or feel looser, but there’s a noticeable difference for many people. In the same way people get tattoos or piercings, some people like modifying their body by making their anus wider.

How it feels

The ultimate reason to stretch is because you like how it feels. The bigger object you insert, the fuller you’ll feel. Many people enjoy this very full feeling, which can’t be achieved by a regular human dick. 

Very large objects can also place pressure on internal bits like the prostate, the G-spot, or the internal part of the clitoris. Plus, it’s still sex, even if it’s with a huge horse dick.

Buying new sex toys

One last fun perk of stretching your ass? You get to buy a whole bunch of new sex toys!

Is there any better feeling than getting a package in the mail with a new sex toy? Or going into a shop to pick out something new and feeling a little dirty carrying it down the street? 

With budgets, it can be difficult to justify getting nice, new things for ourselves. But if you’re working hard to stretch, you’ll probably need to have an assortment of sex toys. That’s as good of an excuse as any.

Will it permanently make me loose?

This fear makes many people give up their size queen dreams. It’s a bit of an urban legend that we’ve perpetuated, probably coming from our attitude towards vaginas.

Neither vaginas or assholes get permanently stretched from penetration, even when it’s done with large objects. These muscles are strong, elastic, and made to heal themselves.

People who stretch notice that their butts get tighter if they don’t keep them stretched for a week or two, and some even say they can tell the difference after a couple days. 

Your ass is a resilient motherfucker.


Ready to try stretching your ass? For the purposes of this article, we’re going to cover the beginning stages of stretching (aka training), then move onto the more hardcore stuff. People in any stage of the fetish are welcome here.

First, you’ll need materials. You’ll almost certainly want sex toys, but we’ll talk about those near the end, since there are like, a crapton of options.

Your most important ally in this battle is lube. The ass doesn’t self-lubricate like the vagina does, so it’s a terrible idea to try to shove something up there without some lube to make things slippery. You could cause tearing, and you’ll definitely run into pain.

We’d recommend water-based lube, especially if you’ll be playing with toys. This type is very body safe, and it’s safe to use with any toy, including silicone ones. You might need to reapply it if it doesn’t feel like things are sliding how you want them to.

If you want more help choosing lube, we have a whole article about the stuff and the best way to pair it with toys.

It’s also very important that you don’t use a numbing lube. Some people recommend these lubes for anal sex or stretching, but using them is a really horrible idea.

The objective of stretching your ass is to get to a point where you can insert large objects without feeling pain. If you can’t feel your asshole, you don’t know if you would be feeling pain or not.

No type of anal play should hurt (unless their whipping you during it or something). If you’re putting something in your butt and it hurts, you’re either doing something wrong, or you’re just not ready for something that large.

The day that you’re going to try anal stretching, you should make sure you poop. Then, 3-4 hours before you want to start, do an enema to get everything cleaned out. Make sure to use lukewarm water, because your rectum is super sensitive to cold and hot temperatures. You can even burn your insides if the water is too hot, and yikes.

Preferably, your enema will be done with saline solution, not just tap water. This is because douching with regular water will strip your body of its natural electrolytes. If your enema kit didn’t come with a saline solution, you can make it with half a teaspoon of salt dissolved into a cup of water.

Take some time to relax before you try stretching. Anal sex is not made to be done when you’re tense. Choose the activity that’s best for you. Watch a funny tv show, meditate, or take a little nap.

Also, lay a towel down. Hopefully the enema took care of any messes, but you never know.

What to do when you’re just starting

So we’re going to assume you’ve been engaging in some sort of anal play, whether it just be fingers or anal sex. If not, you can learn more about working up to that stage and putting fingers up your ass in our prostate stimulation article.

If you want to work your way up to bigger girths of toys, you’ll need to go slow. It’s tempting to get goal-oriented and try to go up a size in a week. This isn’t safe, and will probably be painful.

You’ll need to choose a toy that’s slightly bigger than what you’re used to taking. You’ll probably want a butt plug or a dildo. You’re mostly looking for width rather than length here (although there is a kink based on learning to take longer and longer toys, too). The girthier the toys get, the more stretch you’ll have.

If you only have experience using fingers or a partner’s dick, that’s okay! It can be helpful to get out a tape measure and figure out how big around their cock or fingers are. This will give you a baseline so you can know what size toy you need to start with. If you go too small, you won’t be stretching. However, if you pick one that’s way too big, you’ll probably be in pain.

Once your toy has come in the mail, pick a time when you can have some uninterrupted you time, and make sure you’re relaxed. Relaxation is key to anal play, because it can be hard to penetrate the anal sphincter if you’re tensed up.

Lay down a towel and have a washcloth or some paper towels handy. Even though you douched and cleared everything out, it’s not a complete guarantee that there won’t be any messes. (Plus, lube can make a mess, too.)

First, thoroughly lubricate the toy. Then, do it again. You’ll need more lube than you’re thinking. If you want, you can even use a lube shooter in your ass to really get things slippery. 

Then, you’ll just insert the toy like you would anything you’ve taken before. Mechanically, there’s no big difference, but you’re probably going to feel a very big difference. Take it slow and don’t be afraid to let the object rest for a bit. You might not be able to go in thrusting your first time.

There’s also a good chance you won’t be able to take the whole dildo right away, especially if you got one with a taper. Slip the tip in, then slide very slowly further in. Once you feel internal pressure, take a moment and pause. Once it subsides, you can try again. If you ever feel like you need a little break, be sure to take one.

If you feel any actual pain, you need to stop right away. Anal should not hurt! Pain could be a signal that you’re too tense to play today, or it could mean that you chose a toy that’s just too big for now.

Feel free to get off during this process. You can wiggle the toy to feel the sensations, or take the toy out and then slowly insert it back in. This is like a low-key thrusting that shouldn’t be uncomfortable. It’s totally okay if you don’t orgasm, too; you can always take matters into your own hands after the stretching session.

After you’re done, you might notice some bodily effects of stretching. You might feel sore for a couple of days, and that’s totally normal. A weird side effect is that you might feel gassy or like you need to poop when you’re done. This is because there will be a lot of air and lube inside you. You might also poop more during the rest of the day, or even the next day. Ah, what we sacrifice for good sex.

Stretching long-term

You need to keep up a regular stretching routine if you want to see results. A happy medium is to stretch a few times a week, maybe every other day. This is the best way to see changes. If you stretch every other day, you might be able to go a size up about once a month.

This may seem slow. There are some people who claim you can be taking a basketball in seven days, basically. It’s just not realistic to ask your body to make these changes overnight. This is putting a lot of stress on your butt, and can lead to major safety concerns.

You’re probably ready to size up if you can insert the dildo or butt plug without pain. With a dildo, you should be able to thrust it in and out. With a butt plug, you should be able to wear it comfortably for at least an hour or so.

Size up in ¼ inch diameter increments. If it makes you feel better, you could go smaller, but you might find that this just feels like your old toy. However, going bigger is asking for trouble. It might not even go in.

You have to keep up with stretching if you want to keep the results. Within two to three weeks, you’ll notice there’s less stretch. If you lose some flexibility because you’re on vacation with your parents or something, remember you can always stretch more to get it back.

Safety tips

Like many kinks, anal stretching has some risks. This doesn’t mean that it’s intrinsically unsafe; it just means that you should know these risks and work to keep yourself safe.

Stretching, like most anal sex, risks causing microtears. These tears can easily collect bacteria, which can lead to infection. Make sure your sex toys are clean before you insert them. Even just plain antibacterial soap and water will do the trick. You should also use lots of lube! The microtears happen because of friction, and the solution for that is to use way more lube than you think you need.

Stretching your ass can also lead to hemorrhoids. Anal sex iteself doesn’t lead to hemorrhoids, but if you don’t treat your butt right, it won’t treat you right, either. The hemorrhoids are caused by pushing your ass muscles beyond their limitations. While you’re definitely pushing your muscles with stretching, you shouldn’t be defying human logic.

So how can you avoid these issues? First, stop when you feel pain. Seriously, stop. If you wait a few seconds and you feel fine, you can keep going. But if you keep having the pain, it’s time to hang the ol’ dildo up for the day.

You also need to slow down if you feel long-lasting soreness from playing. A little bit of soreness for a day or two is normal. But if you’re in a lot of discomfort or it lasts a long time, you pushed things too far. Your body is telling you you have to take a break, so you need to listen. Don’t stretch again until the pain goes away, and when it does, go slower. You may even need to size down your dildo or plug.

Toy recommendations

Butt plugs

Butt plugs that are used for ass training need to be a very specific shape that can be hard to find. Most plugs have a large tip, then get very thin before turning into a tapered base, like you can see here. This thin part means that your anal sphincter is only stretching as the bulb goes in, not the whole time you’re wearing it.

For this reason, you need to find plugs what have necks that are about as wide as the bulb. This can be tricky, but it isn’t impossible.

If you’re new to this whole thing, you can check out this plug from the Anal Fantasy Collection. It’s the right shape, but still small enough to be easy to use. 

For more intermediate plugs, there’s the Baby Elephant from SquarePeg Toys. It’s very thick, and doesn’t have the traditional shape of a plug. It might not stay in for long, but it’s short enough to act like a butt plug. You can also try the Ringo plug from Tantus. It doesn’t have any texture and has a smooth matte finish, so it’s easy to put in and take out.

Are you up for a challenge? We found some advanced butt plugs, but be safe! Unless you’ve been training for a while, you shouldn’t try to use these. If anything, they should be aspirational. Someone’s fit that in their butt before, and it could be you someday.

You can get this one in an XXL size, which is over an eight and a half inch circumference. There’s also an enormous glass one that looks huge in the palm of your hand. Holy crap!

If picking out a single plug sounds confusing, they do come in sets. SquarePeg Toys has more to offer here. This Blunt Plug set keeps your anal cavity open while the plug remains in place. It’s safe for extended wear, too. The plugs come in six sizes and range from 4.25 inch circumference to 7 inch. 

If you want something a little cheaper, you can pick up these anal dilators. Since you just have to make one purchase, it’s great for people who are just a little curious but aren’t ready to commit. 

Lastly, SquarePeg Toys has the Egg collection, which looks really solid. Sure, you’ll have to buy each plug individually, but isn’t it nice to reward yourself once you’ve put the work in to go up a size? The largest plug is the Monster, which is 8 inches long and has an 11.3 inch circumference. Try at your own risk!


A great dildo to start with is one that has a taper. This is an economical option, since you can insert it as far as you feel comfortable and work your way up to putting it in all the way.

This pride-themed dido has a taper, but it still looks like a penis. Though it’s not super realistic with the colors, it will feel about the same with no surprises. If you want something a little different, you can get a dildo that’s beaded, with each bead larger than the last. This is a great training tool for your ass. If you’re feeling a little whimsical, you can try a unicorn horn dildo, too!

You can use any dildo to train your ass, as long as it’s the right size for you. You can look for dicks that hit the prostate, or just go straight back for length. Figure out what girth you can take now and go up from there. Just make sure that it’s made of body safe materials.

Once you’ve stretched for a while, you might be able to take on some of the monster dildos that exist out in the world. Check out this fisting dildo, which is the size of a lady’s hand. You can get a dildo that’s 14 inches long with 10 inches of girth or a seven inch length with 10 inches of girth, whatever’s more your style. And if you really want to see what you can take, you can get inflatable penises that will really fill you up.

How long does stretching take?

The short answer is as long as you want it to take! Only you know how wide you want your asshole to get. It’s kind of like gauging your ears. Some people stop at holes the size of a pencil, while some are able to put a soda can through the holes in their ears. It’s all a matter of personal preference.

Generally, you should only size up about once a month. This means that, depending on where you start, it could even take a year to get as stretched as you want to be. Don’t try to stretch more often than once every other day to speed up the process. Your body needs time to recover after each session, and you could run into problems if you don’t give it that.

And remember, if you don’t use it, you lose it. Even once you’ve stretched to where you want to be, you have to maintain it. Make sure you stick something up your ass that’s your maximum size at least once a week. If you don’t, you’ll notice things start to get tighter again.

Anal stretching can be its own fetish, or a part of one. You can use your newfound skills for fisting, gaping, double (or triple) penetration, or whatever your little heart desires. It can also be an aesthetic thing, like wearing (and then having your partner sniff) frilly underwear or getting your nipples pierced. Whatever your reason, have fun and be safe.