Sexting is simple: it’s the act of sending sexually explicit messages. However, it gets more complicated when you realize there are an infinite amount of ways your messages can be sexual. Like, flirting IRL, everyone has their own sexting style. If you’re interested in making your sexting game a sexy side hustle, this article is packed full of information from how to sex like an intimacy pro to where to promote and sell your sexting services.
Let’s just get into it!
If you’re new to the sexting-as-a-job game, you might be wondering why people would pay you to sext with them. You might be wondering “how much money can I really make by sexting”?
While there are some stereotypes about this line of work, let’s clear a few things up. Three main things you will eventually discover about the sexting business are:
As for why someone might be seeking a sexting service, there are a few reasons, the most common being…
A busy/stressful career can make it difficult to find and maintain intimate relationships. Sexting services may appeal to individuals who are not interested in a long-term romantic relationship (for various reasons) or someone who is so focused on their work that their dating lives take second priority.
People who struggle with anxiety may find it easier to sext with a stranger than to go to a bar in hopes of meeting someone new.
There are many people you will come across in this business who just want to feel good - simple as that. Sexting and flirting are naturally things that, when met with positive results, make us feel good. We feel confident, desired, attractive...some people are just looking to feel these things without thinking too much about it all.
Yes, some of the people you come across will be in relationships. Perhaps they aren’t being satisfied in their current sex life or are going through a rough patch with their significant other...there are lots of potential reasons a person in a relationship could reach out to a sexting service. Some people who offer sexting services don’t want to know anything about that, preferring to operate in the “here and now”, focusing on the client and not asking questions about their personal life. However, some people decide they won’t sext a customer who is married. Really, this part is up to your discretion.
Just craving human connection.
Sometimes it really is as simple as that: longing to feel intimate with someone. Sexting (especially with a stranger online) is much, much easier than seeking out someone in real life and attempting to strike up a romantic entanglement.
While sexting seems pretty self-explanatory, there are some things you can do to go from a casual sexter to an intimacy pro. When offering sexting services, you want to toe the line between professional and intimate. You are selling a service, after all, but that service is quite intimate and personal.
Before you get to all the nitty-gritty fun sexting stuff, you’ll need to outline some rules and negotiate for your services. Most sexting services go with a “per minute” fee (for example, 30 minutes of sexting will be $30). During this discussion, you can also discuss consent, what they expect from the service, any preferences they have, and communicate any other pertinent details before diving into the fun.
One of the things about sexting strangers is that it might take a moment or two for you to get adjusted to each other. Figuring out what the person really wants to get out of this sexting session doesn’t have to be confusing - prior to the sexy messaging, you can simply just ask “what kind of messages are you looking for?”
Some people are looking for intimacy, some are looking to blow off steam, some just want to let their minds wander - finding out what they want and providing that is the ultimate goal of sexting as a job.
“I wish you were here…”
That sentence with those three little dots invites all kinds of naughty thoughts. Trust me. Additionally, it also provides a little bit of intimacy and hints at a deeper desire you have for them. People who pay for the service of sexting from you are going to want a genuine connection, not something overly fabricated. With sentences like this, they really feel as though you want them right there in the room with you, and that thought stays with them throughout the whole session.
“Have you ever thought about…”
“Have you ever tried…”
These types of questions are exciting because it not only gets both your hearts racing, but it also allows you to create a deeper communication about various things you’d like to try during your sexting sessions.
“I know what we’d be doing right now...😏”
Using emojis to up your sexting game is a bit of a balancing act. I personally enjoy using emojis to better convey context over instant messaging, but some people don’t really enjoy the use of emojis, especially in more intimate conversations. It’s all about reading your client and becoming what they are looking for. Mirror their style - if they use suggestive emojis, you can, too!
Sexting with someone you’re not intimate with on a regular basis can be a bit daunting. Start off slow. Don’t make your responses overly elaborate, don’t send really large chunks of text...let it build as any other sexual encounter would. Then, when you’re both in the mood, you can send more descriptive sexts.
Whether it’s a naughty cop, a sexy nurse, or something else entirely - roleplaying is fun, even when you’re sexting. Getting lost in a game is a great way to keep your customer on the line for longer (earning yourself some more cash) and ensuring they get what they were looking for with an elaborate and fun sexting session.
If you notice them calling you “Sir” or “Mistress”, play up the D/s dynamic. If you notice them mention bondage, detail a bondage scene for them. If they mention how pretty they imagine your feet to be, ask them if they’d like to see a picture for an additional fee. Sexting like a pro is about reading people’s desires and temporarily transforming yourself into what they desire most.
Some people who enjoy sexting services are simply in it for the fun, which is great. However, some people turn to services like sexting others in order to vent their frustration or to fulfill some desire that’s not being met in their sex life. This can be a particularly intense thing to encounter. Sexual frustration (especially for those in unsatisfying sexual relationships) can be really triggering and delicate. If they want to talk about things their partner won’t do, be a listener. If they want to take control and play Dominant because they can’t do that IRL, let them know if you’re comfortable with that.
While they are free to be pleasuring themselves however they’d like during your sexting session, technology has made sexting a whole new ballgame compared to even just five years ago. With remote-controlled toys from Lovense or compatible male/female devices from Kiiroo, it’s entirely possible for you to control their orgasms while you sext or to pair your toy with theirs to experience mutual pleasure during your session. Really, the sky is the limit with some of this new sexy tech.
It is possible to reach domspace and subspace respectively while sexting. Even if you find your sexting session wasn’t particularly deep, you should check in with them once the session ends. Do they need anything, want to talk about anything else, do they need reassurances or a way to “level out” from your sexual encounter together. Showing that you care for the wellbeing of your customers even after sexting has ended will ensure they trust you and feel comfortable coming back for more.
When it comes to sexting for cash, where are some of the best places to do this? While you’re able to start up your own thing through platforms like Snapchat and Kik (which I discuss later), there are actually platforms designed to make this process easier.
Some of the best of the best for sexting services include...
Arousr defines themselves as “the best adult sex chat service.” All phone communications through this site are anonymized. The client will register with their phone number and purchase credits which they can then use to chat with a model (that’s you!). All chats start as free, so you can get to know your client first before moving on to the more explicit details, which then you are able to charge a price for.
Arousr also offers a ‘phone sex’ option, where you can voice chat with the client (should they choose to purchase that service). Arousr allows its operators to take home 50% of their earnings.
*Additional notes: One of the things I found most interesting about Arousr is their dedication to ensuring things are consensual. For example, the chat host (you) must request a photo from the client by sending them a link. The client then opens the link and can choose a picture from their camera roll to upload to the chat.
My GirlFund has to be one of my favorites on this list. A simple, easy to use platform that allows you to earn money by chatting online with clients. Their motto is “the girl next door is now online” and really, that is the perfect line for them. A platform that is focused on letting sexters raise money towards their “fund”, whatever that might be, by offering flirtatious/sexting chats.
*Additional notes: This is also one of the only platforms that have a “guys” section on their homepage, meaning you’re able to chat with either men or women from the same platform.
Dream Lover is another platform where models are able to sign up to provide sexting services to customers from around the globe. The site set up is relatively simple: your client will see a photo of you on the main page (or can search for you by name). Once they find you, they will find your profile. Here is where you can list some things about yourself and upload a steamy picture to draw in your client.
*Additional notes: As far as website design and user-friendliness, I wasn’t entirely sold on this site. While I haven’t signed up for any of these platforms and actually sold services myself, I do generally click around the website and find the “sign up” page to see what the service is like. I was very unimpressed with this site, it just seems a bit dated and difficult to use compared to some other sites on this list.
NiteFlirt ***writer’s choice
NiteFlirt is a safe, discreet phone sex operator platform that allows you to connect with clients who want to pay you for your company. The platform offers simple sexting or phone with cam options. With NiteFlirt, you will take home 50-70% of your earnings.
*Additional notes: Something I love about this platform is that they allow clients to search out specific kinks or fetishes. You will list on your profile what you’re comfortable chatting about and people can find you that way. This is a great setup designed to help you get matched with clients who are looking for exactly what you offer.
I had to include this platform. I’ve included this one on multiple lists because it really is a one-size-fits-all platform that allows models to do so much through it all at once. From cam shows to sexting to selling your used panties...it really is a place where you can do a bit of everything.
This platform is simple to navigate and models/PSOs who use the platform will take home 60-65% of their earnings.
This platform is more geared towards live Skype shows, but you can also use Skype to sext with your clients. Models start at a 75% payout, meaning you keep 75% of your earnings. You can find clients to sext or video chat with charging per minute and the site also allows for clients to tip you for a job well done. SkyPrivate works primarily with Skype, but that can be on your desktop, laptop, or smartphone.
Kik is a popular messaging app that can be easily monetized by you selling access to your Kik number. You can also charge per-minute. Kik is able to be partnered with platforms like ExtraLunchMoney, ManyVids, YouKandy, and more in order to sell your live/sexting sessions. For more information, check out this article!
Snapchat is by far one of the most popular ways to monetize your adult business even though that’s (technically) against the Snapchat terms and conditions. You can charge a monthly fee for access to your “premium Snapchat” where you can show one-of-a-kind content to your lucky viewers or you can sell per-minute sexting or call sessions. Snapchat can be partnered with ManyVids, ExtraLunchMoney, FanCentro, and more in order to make money. To read more about that, click here.
Phrendly is known as one of the more reputable platforms out there for flirting and sexting. “Get the attention you deserve. Whenever, wherever” is their slogan and wow - that’s a good one. Grabbing the attention of people who are interested in intimate, real connections with others can be a great way to draw in new clients.
The concept is that a client can browse the community, looking for a match they want to pair with. If they choose you, they can buy you a “drink” (a cute way of saying they tip you).
*Additional notes: Phrendly donates some of their commission from your tips to one of nine charities they support (the Foundation Fighting Blindness, Animal Welfare Insitute, and Planned Parenthood, to name a few). While Phrendly is taking a commission off the tips you make, a large part of it is also helping out good causes. What a wonderful thing.
This is a UK-based company that offers models a chance to earn money with their own home-based sexting business. According to their “about us” page, they “specialize in enabling online entertainment services and providing the perfect platform for content creators, phone chat hosts, webcam models, and psychic hosts.”
As you can tell, you can sign up for this platform and sell various types of services, not just sexting - so this is a great choice if you’re also hoping to do some cam-work on top. Chat Recruit, like many other adult entertainment platforms, does take a % of what you earn.
FlirtBucks wants to focus on authentic, genuine connections. They want you to show off your personality and have sensual, intimate conversations with your clients - and make money doing it. Their FAQ page states that this is not a cam performer program but more of a flirtatious chat service. Of course, the conversations are going to be sexual in nature, but from the vibe of this platform, I think some of the users drawn to it might simply just want someone to talk to about more intimate things, even if they choose not to sext with you.
If you’re looking for more information on becoming a PSO (phone sex operator), WebCam Startup has a really in-depth guide available here.
While initially, you may have some reservations about sexting for cash, when it all boils down to it, you’re providing a service. A service like many other services like eating out or going to the movies - this is something that makes someone feel good about themselves and puts them in a better mood.
Being responsible for that happiness, that spring in someone’s step...it’s really a great feeling - the cash you earn is just a huge bonus. If you’re interested in becoming a full-time companion, check out this article on escorting!