I have a confession: I have a fetish I haven’t told anyone about. Partly because I had no idea it had turned into a fetish for me until just recently.
While it might not be as intense as that e-stim thing I’m dying to try or as steamy as that sex-only 6-month long cam sex fling I had with some hunky foreigner: this is a kink that turned into a fetish when I wasn’t paying attention.
Fetishes can be funny that way...they kind of sneak up on you, don’t they? You start to think about it all the time, soon it becomes the only type of porn you look for and then it becomes one of the only things that can get you off.
When it comes to what porn I watch, I’m pretty particular. Of course, I have a few amateur porn couples I follow and I’ve found a few different audio porn sites that let my imagination do the trick...but when you’re someone with particular taste in porn, finding something to really get you going can be difficult.
But let me tell you: there is something about jerk off instruction videos (also known as JOI videos) that drive me absolutely wild.
Now - you may think that sounds strange, because “jerk off instructions” makes it sound like this would be something that is exclusively for men, right? Although most JOI content is geared towards men, there are quite a lot of JOI videos that are for women, too! You just have to know where to look (and more on that later.)
Now, doing my duty as a Sofia Gray writer, I’ve been scouring the web for information on this topic to present to you lovely people for ages. It’s dirty work - but someone’s got to do it.
Of course, I am totally fine with this, because falling (or in my case, jumping) into a black hole of porn that I love has been great. I admit - cruising dozens of porn sites for something so specific had me a little lost at times...but if cruising for JOI porn for hours is the lowlight of my day - I consider that day to be a raving success.
I guess I will reluctantly pull myself back to reality so we can talk about jerk off instruction videos and why they are so damn hot.
Jerk Off Instructions (JOI) or Jerk Off Encouragement (JOE) videos are a style/genre of porn, and it’s exactly what they sound like: someone on camera instructing (or encouraging) you to pleasure yourself.
While the name would suggest that JOI videos are mainly geared towards men, there are lots of JOE videos for women, sometimes called Jilling videos.
What are JOI videos?
Well, that really depends on where you watch them and who is making them. The videos themselves can vary quite a lot, depending on the person creating the video and what site you find it on.
Essentially, JOI videos consist of some dirty talk mixed with teasing mixed with actual instructions on how to make yourself climax.
These videos can be actual instructional videos where the person watching gets off by being instructed and teased by those instructions. Or they can be more vague instructions along the lines of dirty talk - something like “stroke your pussy” instead of more technical like “stroke your clit twice and then stop”. Both are considered jerk off instructions, and both can be found in JOI videos for women, but they set incredibly different moods.
The videos that are very specific, such as telling the person to stroke themselves softly four times and then release, can be a kind of edging or foreplay for the people who enjoy these videos.
The most common JOI porn content you will find is a female instructing a male viewer how to jerk off (hence the ever-so-subtle name of this genre).
Sometimes there is a visual aid (like a dildo or vibrator) and sometimes it’s simply an audio track of a sexy voice telling you what to do.
When we’re talking about female-centered JOI videos, they are most of the time referenced under “jerk off encouragement” instead of “jerk off instruction”. Why? I have no idea. Sometimes they are also filed under the name “jilling”, which is a whole other question mark I haven’t been able to find an answer to yet.
Many of these female to female JOI videos are leading by example: so a woman would teach another woman how she makes herself cum. This kind of instruction is very under-appreciated, in my opinion.
Watching female to female JOI porn has taught me quite a few things about how to please myself: after all, no one knows a woman’s body better than a woman, right?
Ah yes, this is where I shine. I’m kidding...but if you are looking for this content, I know quite a few places you will find it - so I guess I wasn’t kidding.
Male to female JOI/JOE videos are often a bit of dirty talk, a lot of encouragement and some instruction on how (and when) to climax - told from a male point of view to his female viewer.
Male to male JOI is exactly what it sounds like (and very similar to the female to female videos) - where a male is instructing his male viewers how to jerk off. Most of the time, the instructor is using his own equipment (so to speak) and following his own instructions for demonstration (or teasing...never really sure which).
Whatever the case, given the common misconception that men aren’t submissive, male to male JOI porn is more popular than you think.
I will try to sound as unbiased as possible here: jerk off instruction videos are incredibly erotic, sensual, naughty and absolutely something you should try while masturbating...at least once. While that may be the least unbiased things I’ve ever said - here me out.
There are lots of reasons people find JOI content so irresistible.
A simple Google search gave me this Reddit forum where the question proposed is: “does anyone else find JOI videos awkward?”
As soon as I read the title I was left thinking: am I really in the minority when it comes to this type of porn? Do people really not like this? Well, I can put that thought to rest, because the very first comment on the response thread was along the lines of “you should try it, it’s incredible.”
Clearly, I am not alone in this!
Jerk off instruction porn is incredibly sexy, for many reasons.
One of the biggest reasons is that it falls under the “orgasm withholding” (or orgasm controlling) subsection of submission in BDSM.
This kind of submission is different than simply being told where to place yourself or what to do with a partner. This kind of submission is completely online, completely in private, completely controlled. You cannot make a move without the instructor telling you to...and yet, you’re alone in your bedroom. This kind of interactive porn (without being on a live site) is incredibly erotic.
There are generally two types of JOI content: positive reinforcement (more of an encouraging lesson in how to climax) and jerk off humiliation (playing into submissive fetishes). .
Positive reinforcement is very similar to dirty talk, just a bit more technical.
This would be masturbation encouragement in the form of simple instructions that get you to orgasm. There may be a little teasing, but generally, the goal here is to make yourself cum using instructions from someone else’s playbook.
Jerk off humiliation videos follow more of the embarrassment/humiliation route.
Generally, this is where a submissive watching the video would feel dominated and controlled by the instructions in the video. In videos like this, the instructor will prolong arousal and make the person wait to orgasm (if they are even allowed to orgasm at all) and during the video, they would be made to feel dirty or ashamed of their desire to climax.
This is a big part of why people love JOI content: it’s a great and accessible, low-risk way to experiment with different BDSM roles.
Someone who is typically a dom can see if they like to switch over to submission by experimenting with JOI videos where control and domination are the goals of the instructor. Or, if you’re set in your ways and want to branch out (and assert even more power), you can try your hand at creating JOI porn for your partner or to post online.
While JOI videos for men are extremely common, JOI/JOE videos for women are a thing, too.
Male to female JOI porn can be tough to find, considering JOI genre is a pretty big niche interest, to begin with...but it’s out there!
What’s even more interesting, though - is that female to female JOI porn content is actually pretty easy to find. While I think we can all agree that the female body is nice to look at, do you ever wonder why it is that female-based porn content is often much easier to find?
Well, in this case, it’s because women want tips on how to masturbate from other women, who have the same anatomy but different skills and techniques of finding her way around that anatomy.
Whether you’re a woman looking for instruction from another woman or a woman looking to be bossed around by a man - there is definitely JOI porn out there for you.
A big part of jerk off instruction videos can be that they are created specifically for people who like edging, role play and being dominated. For example, many videos will be slow-paced, let you speed up a bit and then make you stop.
For men’s JOI videos, the instructor would help you edge to climax by telling you “stroke one, up, down and stop”, “stroke two, up, down, up, down and stop”...and continue like this until you’re almost at a point of it feeling good. Then you’re either allowed to come or some videos actually just end completely, leaving you wanting more.
Edging and the art of “almost there” when it comes to orgasms is definitely one of the best things JOI content can offer you.
People like to be bossed around in the bedroom. This is not news.
But why do people like this?
The number of reasons is paramount: wanting to relinquish control, wanting to experience something different, feeling turned on by power, feeling turned on by having no power...really, there could be a billion reasons why someone likes to be dominated in bed.
This translates to being told what to do, which is pretty much all jerk-off-instruction porn is.
According to Dr. Chauntelle Tibbals (a sociologist and sex author), the power dynamic between one person having control and the other being obedient can be found in many other fetishes (which is obvious) - but the difference here is that the idea of being instructed shifts the dynamic quite a bit, also shifting the culpability of this particular fetish.
Weighing in on the topic of why we like to be dominated, a German study from 2015 that surveyed 172 adults (60% female) completed personality questionnaires that measured their preference for a dominant partner (or a partner with dominant traits in the bedroom).
In this study, they rated how much they agreed with various statements such as “A very nice man/woman is often boring” or “I feel attractive to assertive men/women.”
People were then ranked for the following “sensation seeking” categories: thrill/adventure-seeking, disinhibition, experience seeking and boredom susceptibility. People who scored high in the sensation-seeking area of the survey were also the ones who were especially likely to prefer to be submissive in bed.
Something interesting about this study was the “boredom susceptibility” and “disinhibition” were the things that correlated most with people who wanted to be dominated in their sex lives.
The proof that people like to be talked up (and bossed around) in the bedroom extends beyond what role you like - it’s just instinct. According to this article over on Metro, people also love it when their partner talks during sex. While being a fan of dirty talk isn’t anything newsworthy, the news is in what we like to hear.
When asked what kind of dirty talk people like to hear, a lot of responses read like this:
“I like it when they order me around”
“Tell me what to do”
“Tell me how to make you cum”
People like explicit dirty talk that narrows in on what you want to do, what you’re going to do or how you’re going to do it.
Enter JOI porn, which is basically someone telling you how to have the best climax you’ve ever had by yourself.
Even if you don’t like to be told what to do, I bet you would get all those good kind of tingles down your body if someone told you to remove your panties and start touching yourself. It’s just hot!
In the world of BDSM, there are many roles - but for the sake of saving some time, I’ll stick to the ones that matter when we’re talking about instructional porn.
Dominant
If you’re a dom, and you love to be in control - creating instructions can come as naturally to you as breathing. And jerk off instructions can help you take your sub to the edge of climax...and then you get to decide how and when they feel that orgasmic bliss.
Submissive
If you’re a sub and you love to be dominated, cruising the world of JOI porn can be so incredibly erotic. Being told what to do, exactly how to do it and when you’re allowed to feel good can be the domination you’ve been waiting to experience - and better yet, you can experience it while masturbating without a partner.
Switch
And if you’re a switch (like me), JOI porn content gives you a taste of the opposite role you’re used to playing. Not only that, but you can use JOI content to benefit both of your personalities...as a Switch, I am a huge fan of following JOI porn content, but could also see myself creating it for other people.
While I am a huge fan of self-pleasure, it gets kind of...lonely (for the lack of a better word). There are tons of ways you can spice up your solo time...but nothing adds as much as another person can. And if you aren’t in a relationship (or don’t want to be) - JOI content is perfect for your me-time.
You get a kind of interaction with someone else, but can be left to your own (hopefully strong, battery operated) devices when it comes to how you get off.
When it comes to porn, there is no shortage of genres, types, and experiences you can have...but aren’t we always looking for something different?
If you’ve been poking around the Sofia Gray blog, you’ll know my take on audio porn is that it’s coming in hot (and for good reason), with sites like Quinn and Voxxx heading up the lead...and some of their best content? Instructional, sexy, tell-me-what-to-do kind of audio files that are geared towards helping people get the most out of their masturbation.
Jerk off instruction and encouragement porn offers a different kind of experience for people who are bored with their typical self-love routines. It gives you a new kind of experience.
In fact, there are JOI videos that aim to be the “girlfriend experience”, where the content is more intimate and the setting is more romantic. And then there are JOI videos that focus more on “you can here for a dominatrix”, where you are simply told how (and when) to cum.
And lastly, there are more “you want to explore yourself, let me show you how” types of videos - and this is what most people are drawn to.
No matter what kind of porn you’re typically into, JOI genre porn allows you to experience something that’s out of the norm, which for many people, is why it’s so sexy.
Some JOI porn will include some type of role-play scenario, like the dominating girlfriend telling her naughty little sub how to jerk himself off so she doesn’t have to touch him (playing into a humiliation/shame game).
Other JOI porn videos will turn masturbation into a little game: green means go, red means stop - you have to do what I tell you when I tell you, or you won’t cum. Adding this new kind of twist to your sexcapades can be incredibly sexy and fun.
There are so many stereotypes, misconceptions, and judgments around sex work - but sex work can be literally anything from being an occasional cam-girl to working in a red-light district in Europe. And guess what? It can be something as simple as creating a jerk off instruction video for your spouse or uploading one anonymously online.
I have been in a monogamous relationship for almost a decade and even before I met my spouse, I dabbled in online cam sex with a stranger. Still knowing this, two years ago I could have never pictured myself wanting to sign up for a creator’s account on PornHub...and yet, today, I could definitely see myself creating JOI content because it’s something I’m really interested in and it’s helped me so much when it comes to learning my own body.
Sex work is made out to be this big thing that you’re either for or against, in or out of...but in today’s world, it’s rarely that simple. Why do I bring this up now?
Well, because creating JOI content can be a whole new level of sex work that people are interested in. For people who aren’t ready to dive into amateur porn or camming, there is creating JOI videos. You can be as in-frame as you’d like (so there is potential to keep your identity a secret), or you could simply make audio JOI porn, which is so low-risk I am questioning why everyone with a microphone isn’t doing it.
Dipping a toe into the sex-work waters has never been easier with this new kind of interactive porn that lets you engage with an audience without actually engaging with an audience.
I’m just going to say it: masturbation isn’t easy. You think it would be...but it’s not.
Knowing yourself, your body, what feels good, what doesn’t feel good, what gets you off, what can make you climax...it’s not like we’re all just equipped with reader manuals that explain what we like and how we like it. As we become more sexually experienced, we learn things about ourselves.
When we first start to fool around with ourselves, Google is our best friend. There are tons and tons of articles online telling us how to pleasure ourselves...JOI porn content is practically the same thing, you’re just being shown what to do instead of reading it.
Masturbating to JOI content can be a huge part of how you figure out what you want...I know it was for me. When you’re the type of person who craves intimacy and isn’t all that interested in masturbation because even when you do orgasm, it’s nothing mind-blowing...inviting another person into the bedroom, without actually having another person there to watch you experiment can up your game in ways you never knew possible. This is why instructional porn is so great: you can test new things out without a partner being around to make things awkward.
Many of these videos aren’t just there for you to get your rocks off...they are there to explain how to get your rocks off.
And while you’re thinking: “what does a man know about getting me off?” - don’t worry: these videos are loaded with tidbits of masturbation expertise from other women, too! There are plenty of JOI videos out there that are women telling other women how to climax - and this can be insanely helpful in figuring out some new techniques to try on yourself to make your me-time worth it.
Why should you try instructional porn? My raving opinions aside...why not!?
While most of us toss the instruction manual out with the cardboard when opening literally anything new, I bet you will be surprised to find out that following instructions can be really sexy.
The idea of porn that is instruction-based sounds mechanical, detached and something only submissives would like...but I promise you, there is so much more to it. Experimenting with this kind of porn doesn’t have to mean you’re taking on the role of a submissive. It doesn’t have to mean anything, really.
Branching out and finding new porn you like can be as simple as just cruising the internet in your downtime. From podcasts and blogs to actually typing things into the search bar of your go-to porn site: finding porn you enjoy might happen when you least expect it.
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