The Lazy Girl’s Guide to Quickies: Mastering Speedy Sex (and still having a good orgasm or two)

Sometimes you want to go all out: I’m talking putting the nice sheets on your bed before your partner gets home, waxing pretty much everything, taking the time to put on complex lingerie complete with stockings and high heels, giving oral that lasts longer than one song on your sex playlist...you know, the works. 

And other times you want to get in, get off and get out. 

Welcome to the lazy girl’s guide to mastering quickie sex: because quickies can be effortless and orgasmic if you know what you’re doing. And at Sofia Gray...we know what we’re doing.

What’s the Average Time Spent Having Sex?

“How long should sex last?”

It’s a question that people have Google’d an incomprehensible amount of times, I’m sure. We’re all curious if our sex lives are meeting the averages (or if you’re lucky, exceeding them…) so let’s talk about timing. 

According to sex therapists who were interviewed in 2005 for a study that was later published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, the breakdowns for how long good (penetrative) sex should last is as follows: 

  • 1-2 minutes was deemed “too short” 
  • 3-7 minutes was deemed “adequate” 
  • 7-13 minutes was deemed “most desirable” 
  • 15-30 minutes was deemed “too long”

Keeping in mind that this is only describing penetrative sex, which means foreplay and aftercare aren’t included in these times - you may look at this and think it’s somewhat correct. Or you may look at it and think you need much longer than what most people consider “most desirable”.

In the same study, women were told to give examples of their best sex times...one woman explained her best comes from 10-15 minutes of foreplay followed by about 10 minutes of intercourse. Meanwhile, two other women from the study had answers that included foreplay that lasted up to an hour. 

Really - when it comes to having good sex, how long it lasts is totally about personal preference. 

Not only that, but you have to keep in mind what you need to get off, the chemistry you have with your partner, what kind of kinks and fetishes you’re trying out...so much more goes into the timing of sex than just how long it takes you to go from 0 to climax. 

When you don’t have all that time to experiment and thrive, you need to master the basics of sexual pleasure in order to have really great quickie sex. Once you do this, sometimes quickies can be an even better option than all-stops, extensive intercourse.

When is the “Quickie” the Best Option?

While it’s something of a sitcom cliche that “quick sex leads to an unsatisfied woman laying in bed next to a completely satisfied man with a silly smile on his face”, IRL quickies aren’t like that at all...or they shouldn’t be.  

Quickies don’t need to be totally a waste of time, they don’t have to be one-sided and they don’t have to be a whole lot of effort. In fact, they don’t need to have any of that kind of negative baggage to them. 

Quickies can be great, actually. But it’s important to keep in mind that the “quickie” is something that needs to be perfected. It may take a few times for you and your partner to get to a place where “quickie” sex is satisfying for both of you. 

When it comes to quickies...how fast are we talking? 

That depends on quite a few things, but mostly it depends on how much time you normally spend having sex and how much time you’ve got to have sex right now. 

If you have 10 minutes, 10 minutes is quickie sex. If you have 3 minutes, super speedy quickie sex it is. If you have the time to spare but both end up climaxing within 5 minutes when your normal time is closer to 30 - that’s a damn good quickie. 

It’s all relative - but one thing is for certain: sometimes quickies are actually the best option. 

Before work...

Sometimes you just want to jump your man first thing in the morning...but you both have to be at work in the next 45 minutes. Enter the quickie. Head off to work with a smile plastered over your face and tingly lady-bits that have just been treated to a good time. 

Conflicting schedules...

It’s not always easy to find time for sex between conflicting work schedules and social obligations...but quickie sex can be the perfect “pre cocktail party” activity, right? You’ve got 8 minutes until your Uber arrives...why not make the most of them?

Sex in public…

Maybe you’re on a hike and things start to get a little...handsy. The jury has voted: sex in public is hot, hot, hot. So wander off the trail path, slip off your panties and get down to business. This is the perfect time to put all your quickie tips (listed below) into practice.

Married, with kids…

Married life can be hectic: you’ve got yard work, housework, kid-work, work-work...the last thing you want is for your sex life to feel like more work. But sex doesn’t have to add to your workload if it’s quick and efficient. 

Mastering the quickie is a great way to keep things fresh in your marriage. 

When you’re sick…

Being sick is the worst...but that doesn’t mean your hormones just stop functioning. Sometimes you’re sick AND insatiably horny. 

Quickies are great for that time when you feel a bit too gross to put the effort into mind-blowing oral sex and don’t want to risk too much kissing for fear of getting your lover sick, too. 

During your period…

Earning your red wings and having sex on your period seems like a pure fantasy for some, and something straight out of a gore-film for some others...but period sex shouldn’t be something to shy away from. 

In fact, research shows period sex may even help lessen those pesky cramps Aunt Flo brings to town every month. And quick period sex is great because you get the satisfaction of orgasms and then you can go back to hugging your hot water bottle on the couch while binge-watching Netflix. 

Shower sex...

Shower sex...that thing that always seems like a great idea until you’re doing it and then you’re thinking “this is totally not worth it”. 

Well - quickie shower sex is worth it. Get in, get clean, get off, get out...it’s really that simple. Not to mention your pulsating showerhead can do wonders when you’re strapped for time.

Car sex…

While getting it on in the back of your Hyundai sounds kinky and spontaneous, these cramped car sessions can be a bit restricting when it comes to how you can move, which tends to limit how much time is spent doing certain things. 

My advice?
Acknowledge that car sex is far better when you’re doing it quickie-style. 

How to Actually Have an Orgasm (or two) From Quickie Sex

 The first few times you attempt it, you may very well find that you don’t climax, or if you do, it’s one of those orgasms that is just “alright”...you know, instead of mindblowing and euphoric. 

But don’t worry - you’ll get there. And as a fellow lazy girl, I can tell you how to get there without much effort - because quick sex shouldn’t be stressed over...it should be fun. 

A “quickie” doesn’t mean you need to skip the foreplay...just make it count. 

Skipping foreplay is the biggest mistake couples make when trying to master the quickie. Kissing, rubbing, stroking, grabbing, a little tongue action...it’s all part of what arouses us. It’s part of what makes sex so satisfying.

Good sex is very rarely only about penetration. 

Not only is foreplay great to warm yourselves up (and the wetter, the better, as most women can attest to) but it’s also a great way to ensure your actual penetrative sex is happening at the very height of your arousal, making it much easier to achieve orgasm. 

What kind of foreplay should be included in quickie sex?

  • Lots of kissing.

Kissing sends out a burst of oxytocin, according to this HealthLine article, which is considered “the love hormone” because it often evokes feelings of affection and attachment. 

Both great additions to ensuring your orgasm is a great one. 

  • Touch each other intimately. 

While this one is kind of obvious, it might not be as obvious as you think. 

When we think “quickie”, our minds immediately go to doing everything as fast as we can to reach orgasm sooner. But this isn’t always the best approach to mastering speedy sex. 

If he likes his balls stroked, focus on that for a solid 30 seconds or so and then move on to kissing his ear lobe or biting his neck. Using sensory pleasure as a guide can totally amp up the mood and drive your partner wild. 

  • Spontaneous oral sex.
    When you’re in a rush, your partner likely isn’t expecting you to get down on your knees for oral sex...so maybe that’s exactly what you do. 

While you shouldn’t spend a lot of time down there (because after all, we’re in a hurry), giving him some spontaneous head can get him going, even if it’s just a minute or two. 

  • The rather under-rated handjob.
    Handjobs are totally under-rated, when it comes to quickies, I think. When you’re pressed for time, use whatever tools in your kink-box to get things going, this includes the trusty hand-job that’s long since been replaced by oral sex. 

Just because an oldie, doesn’t mean it’s not a goodie - handjobs can be the perfect way to get things going in a hurry. 

  • The power of dirty talk. 

I don’t think we truly understand the power of dirty talk. There is a reason why audio erotica is on the rise, why phone sex has almost always been a thing people love and why sexting is such a prominent part of our sexual language today. 

Dirty talk is exceptionally sexy. 

Use it! If you’re new to dirty talking and want some tips, dive into my full guide to dirty talk (which includes examples of what to say) here

Lean into the moment…

Quickie sex can be difficult for one big reason: we don’t all come with an “on” switch that magically transforms us into insatiable beings who crave sexual pleasure every second of the day. 

It can be really difficult to set the mood when time is sparse. So lean into the moment! If you’re having sex in public, go with the whole “we could be caught at any minute” vibe and whisper to your partner about how sexy you think it is for them to make you cum right then and there. 

Or if you’re having a quickie before work, tell them you want them to give you something to think about all day long. Leaning into the moment can be a great way to set the mood in a hurry in order to have truly satisfying speedy sex. 

“Leave your clothes on”...what every lazy girl wanted to hear. 

Maybe my favorite quickie favorite tip in this entire article...sometimes sex with your clothes on can be even sexier than being totally naked with each other. Plus, no undressing and redressing - everyone wins.

Pulling your skirt up and sliding your panties to the side to allow him to enter you is very, very sexy. It gives the impression that you have to be discrete, which can get you both feeling the naughty vibes. 

Unbuttoning your blouse to let him feel your breasts under your shirt gives the idea that he can touch but only go so far - this creates a kind of tension you maybe haven’t felt since you first started seeing each other naked. 

Teasing to set the mood…

Another way you can ensure your lover is in the mood is to amp up the teasing. While this can cut into your sex time, it doesn’t always have to. 

Say you and your lover know you have 30 minutes to come home, change and go out to a work event or dinner party. 

Try sexting him (maybe including a few naughty pictures) all throughout the day. Once you see each other, you will both be so quick to jump each other’s bones that most of the foreplay is already over - leaving more time for great penetrative sex (and orgasms, of course). 

It’s all in the positioning…

This isn’t the time to be testing out new positions to see what works - go with a tried and true position that feels good for both of you. 

When it doubt, go for a position that has worked 2000x over, without fail. 

For many women, this often means being on top to allow for deeper thrusts. For others, the missionary position offers free hands to be able to use a vibrator or stimulate yourself while he’s thrusting. 

There is always time for toys…

Adding a toy into the mix seems like a quickie-mistake...but it’s not, I promise. 

The key here is to choose the right toy: one that’s not overly difficult to use, that you know can get you off and that is at the ready when you need it. 

Much of the time, women need some kind of clitoral stimulation to orgasm - so I suggest using something like a bullet vibrator or wand to stimulate your clit while you’re having sex. 

Another tip? Go with something a bit more...powerful. 

After all, we’re on the clock. 

This wand is one of my favorites, especially if I’m looking for a quick and effortless orgasm. And this bullet vibe is much more powerful than it looks - perfect for quickie sex. 

Don’t be afraid to take things into your own hands...help him out. 

The female orgasm can feel elusive and elaborate for some guys - he might not feel totally confident in making you cum with such little time...so help him out a bit. 

Pleasuring yourself while you’re giving him oral or while he is kissing you can not only turn him on (and move things along down there) but it can also help you get close to where you need to be in order for him to bring you to climax. 

You know what buttons need to be pressed and when - so don’t be afraid to play with yourself a little. 

Allowing yourself to experience multiple orgasms...keeping the tension high. 

Multiple orgasms can be a tricky thing. For some, it can feel a bit overpowering and overwhelming, for others, multiple orgasms are maybe just another Tuesday night. 

Whatever your stance on multiple orgasms, they are totally possible during quickie sex and the key to experiencing it is to just let it happen. A lot of the time, when we’re reaching orgasm during sex (especially fast sex) we tend to slow ourselves down a bit for fear of climaxing too soon. 

Let yourself feel whatever you feel, whenever you feel it. Give in to the pleasure as soon as it comes. 

Oftentimes, when you let yourself experience a quick orgasm, another one can follow. If you’re really lucky, you’ll experience rolling orgasms, as I call them, where one just flows into the next without much space in between...and that’s just heavenly bliss. 

Get kinky right away. 

If your lover likes to be choked, take them off guard with a really good kiss while putting your hands on their neck. If he likes to be bossed around, order him to go down on you. If he’s into erotic humiliation, incorporate that into your games right away. 

You only have a few minutes, you might as well pull out some of the best stops early and get things going. 

Don’t forget the lube, please! 

As I am sure you can attest, vaginal dryness can make sex painful and completely zap any mood you had buzzing - so lube up before things get really heated. 

Using lube takes away the pressure on him to get you aroused and wet, can reduce pain, minimize friction and can even add a bit of “zing” if you’re using something like heating/cooling lubricant. 

Consider a condom (or keep one on you for spontaneous adventures). 

Even if condoms aren’t your primary birth control choice, having one handy and using it in case of quickies can make cleaning up exceptionally easy. This is perfect if you’re having sex somewhere that isn’t your house, you don’t always have access to towels to get cleaned up afterward. 

A helpful tip for women: along with an emergency condom or two, keep some female hygiene wipes handy so you can clean yourself up in a hurry if needed. 

Consider avoiding penetrative intercourse altogether. 

Sexual intercourse isn’t the only way to have quickie sex. Oral sex, clitoral stimulation, handjobs...whatever gets the job done! 

Sometimes quickies don’t involve any actual penetrative sex at all, especially if you know your partner reacts positively (and quickly) to other kinds of stimulation. 

Let yourself be a bit silly. 

Let me tell you something: quickie sex isn’t always super easy. 

The best way to make the most out of what little time you have is just to have fun with it, lower your expectations a little and give it your best. 

Maybe you’re crammed into the stall of a restaurant bathroom or you’ve slid the seat of his car back so you can get on top of him for a bit of quick loving...there’s bound to be some awkwardness when it comes to quick sex. 

Just go with it! Bumping heads, changing positions, fumbling with the zipper on your dress...it’s all part of the fun. One of the best things about quickie sex is the spontaneity and randomness of it, so don’t put so much pressure on yourself to be sexy and elegant. 

If at first, you don’t succeed...try again. 

As I said, this may take some practice. If you don’t orgasm the first time, that’s totally fine - just keep in mind what worked (and what didn’t) and try again the next time you’re crunched for time.

Achieving orgasms (good orgasms, at that) through speedy sex isn’t always easy but with a bit of trial and error, you’ll get it!