Performing oral sex on a vagina is one of the most elusive sex acts for a whole lot of people. The vag seems like a Rubix cube, but a couple of the squares are mismatching colors, like purple and pink. It seems damn near impossible.
I’m here to promise you that it is possible to have a cunnilingus experience that’s pleasurable for both you and your partner. You just have to know what you’re doing, then try hard and believe in yourself.
People who like gettin’ down with vaginas, and particularly men, need to step up their game. A recent study found that women are twice as likely to go down on their male partners than their male partners are to go down on them. Boo hiss!
There are a few reasons for this. First, some women don’t feel like they can exercise their sexual agency and ask for oral when they want it. Others are ashamed by their vaginas, feeling like they’re weird, smelly, or gross. Some women have had bad experiences with oral in the past, making them think that they can’t come from it, or that spending the appropriate amount of time down there is too much work for her partner.
To combat this, give your girl oral! Volunteer. Don’t wait for your head to be pushed down.
Whether you’ve never eaten pussy before and want to try it, or you just think you could get better at it, you’re in luck. By the end of this article, you’ll have an arsenal of information to make you a pussy pro.
Before we get too far, let’s make sure we’re on the same page regarding the different parts of the vagina. I’ll refer to them throughout the article, so you’ll want to keep up.
Let’s look at an illustration of a vagina and point out what each part does.
Clitoral hood: You’ll find this at the top of the vaginal area. It’s a little flap of skin that covers the clitoris. Because the clit is very sensitive, it protects it from getting overstimulated in day to day life. It’s kind of like the foreskin.
Clitoris: This is the star of the show when you’re eating a girl out! It has more than 8,000 nerve endings. Actually, the clit should be at least a supporting character in the show anytime you’re having sex with a vulva owner.
The clitoral head looks like a nub underneath the clitoral hood. But actually, the clit extends beneath the surface, and is between three to four inches long. It’s possible to play this to your advantage.
Labia majora: Sometimes called the “outer lips.” It’s the skin that surrounds the vaginal opening, protecting it. This isn’t usually a super erogenous zone, but your results may vary.
Labia minora: These are the thin folds of skin that are closest to the vagina, also called the “inner lips.” Usually, they’re smaller than the labia majora, but everyone’s body is different.
Your inner labia have nerve endings, so they can definitely be incorporated during cunnilingus. However, this might happen more at the beginning before you move on to the clit.
Urethral opening: This is where they pee from. Don’t worry about this during this process (unless she has a pee fetish).
Vaginal opening: This is the vagina, aka the canal, aka where you’d stick your penis or fingers. You might be able to finger a girl while you eat her out, but we’ll discuss that later.
Anus: You know what the anus is, surely. It’s definitely possible to engage in anal play during the process of eating pussy, but you have to do it right and safely.
Okay, don’t panic. Many people have licked a clit before you, and many more will after you. Eating someone out doesn’t require years of training or finding the seven Dragon Balls before you can complete your mission.
Some people might tell you to fake it ‘til you make it and pretend that you’re a pro. This is bad advice. You’ll never learn this way, and it sounds like a great way to be bad at oral forever.
If it seems like it’s time to make your way downtown, let your partner know you’re a little new at this. “Just FYI, I’ve never tried this before.” “I’m a little new at this, so let me know if something feels good, okay?” “Literally slap me if I’m doing a bad job, master.”
You can also have a conversation beforehand, getting a rundown of what they like. Or afterwards, have them be straight with you about how things went and what can be improved for next time. As long as you’re open and honest, they won’t be upset.
Communication is sexy.
Most people don’t think it’s necessary to use protection during oral sex, especially if they’re licking a vulva. However, no one has ever regretted having safe sex. Yes, for real.
It’s possible to transmit many STIs through cunnilingus. Partners can give each other HPV, oral herpes, genital herpes, HIV, syphilis, gonorrhea, and chlamydia. So like all of them, tbh.
It is true, though, that eating someone out is one of the least likely ways to transmit STIs. However, they’re definitely still present.
The protection of choice for oral sex on a woman is a dental dam. They’re a thin square of polyurethane, latex, or nitrile material that provide a barrier during oral. They can be used during both cunnilingus and analingus. If used correctly, they’re about as effective as condoms at preventing STI transmission.
You won’t stretch the dental dam over the genitals like you would a condom. It should nestle closely around the labia and clit, allowing the natural curves to present themselves. You’ll want to feel like there’s a real living person inside there, not just a piece of stretchy material.
One of the disadvantages of a dental dam is that someone has to keep it in place. If the giver is keeping it in place, make sure you’re in a comfortable position to keep everything going. Nothing is worse than getting a terrible cramp after only a few minutes. In some positions, your partner might be able to hold the dam in place for you.
Unfortunately, it can be kind of hard to find dental dams in the wild. Most drug stores don’t sell them, which is frankly a) rude and b) homophobic. So you’ll probably have to stock up online.
A lot of dental dams are flavored. This is great for some people who might be a little wary of the smell or taste of a vagina. (You will never survive the long winter, but to each their own.) Here are some Sheer Glyde vanilla ones, some Satin flavored options, and Trust Dams that comes in flavors like grape, mint, strawberry, and vanilla.
But buying them online is expensive. If only there was another way.
Luckily, there is! You can make your own dental dams.
To make a dental dam using a condom, snip the tip off. Then make a cut all the way down lengthwise. It’ll unfold into a dental dam-like sheet! You can also use gloves for DIY dams. Cut off the top with the fingers and cut lengthwise. You can even keep the thumb on for a handy grip. Both of these options are super convenient, because in a perfect world, you’d have both gloves and condoms (if you have a penis) by your bed anyways. Safety first.
Some people think dental dams are weird. If you’re fluid bonded with your partner and you’ve both had STI tests, then they’re not necessary. However, if you want to stay safe during a random hookup, they’re definitely not a bad idea.
Okay, so you shouldn’t jump immediately into eating pussy once her clothes come off. That’s honestly setting both of you up for failure. Plus, eating a girl out is great, but if you go down there before she’s warmed up, you’ll probably be down there forever. Your neck will cramp. Your jaw will hurt. It will not be the ideal experience.
Your foreplay can look like whatever you want. It might be lots of kissing, or maybe it’s getting flogged. Whatever gets your engines running.
Once it’s time to head down, go slowly. Take your time. Teasing is a big part of making this work. Kiss her stomach, thighs, waist, and hips.
Then, don’t take her panties off right away. Kiss her through them, tease her about moving them. Have her squirming before they’re even off.
Okay, so the panties are off...so we’re off to the races.
The general outline of an eating out session is:
Since we’ve already covered the first two, it’s time for some experimentation.
If you’re with a new partner, you can’t know what she likes. Every person is different. Some people like light pressure and soft stimulation of their clit, while some people like hard pressure and basically want you to wreck their whole shop.
Try a bunch of different tactics. Flatten your tongue and lick everything, kind of like an ice cream cone. Suck on her clit. Go in circles around the clit with your tongue. Flick your tongue over her clit. You can even try penetrating her vagina with your tongue.
Pay close attention to your partner’s body language. If she’s into something, she’ll almost certainly let you know. (If she happens to be someone who’s very stoic in bed, you’ll probably have to ask her to forego that, at least while you’re learning.)
Some signs you might notice to indicate that she’s enjoying something could include moaning, gripping the sheets, running her fingers through your hair, bucking up against you, or increased urgency of dirty talk.
Once you’ve found a technique that’s got her squirming, your first thought might be to double down and use even more pressure for your current motion. It’s a good thought, but the best idea is to simply keep doing what you were doing. Keep it consistent and make sure the rhythm is the same. Changing techniques or suddenly throttling her clit will take her out of the moment and might mean she can’t come at all.
Honestly, these are the basics. They certainly don’t seem as hard as you might think. We’ll go over some other information in a sec, but eating pussy is totally doable as long as you have the right attitude.
The amount of time that it takes for your partner to come has nothing to do with your skill level. Eating pussy can take a long time, so buckle up.
Studies have shown that it takes women between 15 to 40 minutes to have an orgasm. If you’re expecting to get in and get out with cunnilingus, that’s probably not going to happen.
For this reason, make sure that you’re comfortable. You can buy sex pillows that can help you with cunnilingus positions, or just use some pillows you have at home. The Liberator wedge is a great choice. Sliding a pillow under the receiver’s hips lifts them up and makes for a better neck position for you.
If the cunnilingus is taking too long and you’re getting tired, remember to engage in more foreplay for next time. It’ll get her more warmed up so she’ll be more sensitive to your touch.
Learning to eat pussy is a lifelong journey. You probably won’t become a master in a day. Here are a few pieces of advice to change things up and help you on your journey.
1. Add in toys.
Toys almost always make sex better. Thanks, technology!
There are lots of different ways to use toys during oral sex. Adding a vibrator can add an extra teasing element or help relieve you when your mouth or neck gets tired. You could also fuck her using a dildo (vaginally or anally) while you stimulate her clit with her mouth. Other options include adding in nipple clamps, putting in a buttplug, or using a kinky object like a ball gag.
2. Finger her.
Some women really like a finger or two in their vagina while they’re being eaten out. Some don’t. Ask her preference or try it out.
Don’t try to jackhammer her with your fingers. This is generally a good idea whenever your fingers are in a pussy. Instead, focus on the G-spot. Use the come hither motion to find it, then stimulate it with two fingers. This feels sensational and will usually help bring on an orgasm faster.
Don’t sweat it if you have trouble multitasking like this right away. That’s the kind of stuff that happens with time and practice.
3. Make noises.
This tip might make you feel a little silly, but some people claim it’s effective.
People say that humming while eating a girl out basically acts like a vibrator. You’ll want to practice to make sure your lips are vibrating correctly, or else it’ll just sound like you’re doing Gregorian chants. Try to focus on the lips.
If this isn’t working, it’s probably meant to be. Scrap it ASAP.
4. Try flavored lube.
Oral sex on someone with a vulva is one of the only times it’s okay to use flavored lube. If you’re skittish about how her vagina will taste and you’re not using a dental dam, flavored lube can come to your rescue.
Just make sure you don’t get any of it inside her vagina. Flavored lubes can cause awful yeast infections. Sugar doesn’t belong up there.
For recommendations about flavored lube, check out our entire lube article. Spoiler alert: you can get lube in flavors like cinnamon roll, pina colada, and pink lemonade. Wild.
5. Use varying techniques.
Okay, so there are a lot of people who will talk about the best motions for eating pussy. All you have to do is turn your tongue to a 90 degree angle, shake your head back and forth like a sprinkler...okay, you get the idea.
There’s no beautiful cure all for a perfect cunnilingus technique. But here are some ideas that you can use as inspiration. Trying something out never hurt anyone. Just don’t try to make it work for 15 minutes. If it’s not getting her there, try something new.
Here are some inspirational techniques.
6. Incorporate edgeplay.
You can make orgasms more intense by using edgeplay. To do this, you basically deny your partner orgasm over a period of time, making their final orgasm stronger.
This can be used in a BDSM context with a sub, but it doesn’t have to be. It’s fun for the giver because they get to have control and tease their partner, and it’s good (if a little torturous) for the receiver because, hello, better orgasm.
I wouldn’t recommend this for beginners who aren’t sure how to get their partner to come. When utilized incorrectly, it can just seem like you don’t know what you’re doing, and could end the session. Work up to this.
7. Change things up with temperature play.
If you’re into temperature play, oral sex is a great opportunity to try it! Try blindfolding your partner so they don’t know what you’re doing. Then, put an ice cube in your mouth and eat them out. You’re sure to illicit a gasp!
Then try drinking some hot tea and doing the same thing. Definitely sexy.
Make sure you’re only using food items that are safe on your partner’s bits. Like, coffee with sugar or a popsicle is a no go.
8. Add in powerplay.
If you’re a little kinky, you can add in some power play during your cunnilingus sessions.
Consider tying your partner up. This takes away their control. If you even restrain their legs, they might have trouble bucking up against you, which many people really want to do. You can also include a blindfold.
If she wants to be in control, let her put her hands on your head while you go so she can control the pressure. She can pull your hair or slap you, too. Or another easy way for her to be in control is to sit on your face. Never a bad idea.
People who have sex with vulva havers sometimes get some bad intel on what’s good for their sex life. Some of the things on this list are even dangerous, so listen up.
Don’t blow air into her vagina.
You’ll hear about lightly blowing on a woman’s vulva or clit to kind of wake things up and maybe incorporate some temperature play. However, do NOT form a seal around her vagina with your lips and blow.
Air can go into their vag without a way to escape, which forms bubbles. Then these bubbles travel through the cervix, into the uterus, and they can be absorbed into the bloodstream.
When there are air bubbles in your bloodstream, she can literally have a stroke or heart attack. She could even die.
Admittedly, the chances of that are pretty damn low. However, it’s probably best not to risk it when there are so many other non-deadly things you can do to a pussy.
Don’t use the alphabet.
Probably the most pervasive piece of bad pussy eating advice is to just write the letters of the alphabet on her genitals using your tongue.
It sounds like a good idea, because it varies sensations. However, it’s too varied. If you touch a place she likes, you won’t be back there for a while! Just stick with getting to the letter “O” for now.
Don’t act like you’re trying to clean her vagina.
Some people feel like they have to lick every single inch of their partner’s vagina, like they’re trying to lick some peanut butter off of it or something.
Concentrate on the primary erogenous zones: the inner labia and the clitoris. You can visit the other places, but don’t dwell on them.
Don’t think you’re a sex god after getting her off once.
If you get her off the first time, that’s great! (If you don’t that’s okay too, FYI.) But when she does orgasm, it’s not like you’ve unlocked the new achievement of Pussy Devourer, which gives you +3 to pussy powers.
You’re going to have to work at getting your partner to orgasm every time, and what works may not be the same every time. You’ll also want to figure out new and different ways to make her come. She’s not a vending machine where you stick a tongue in and an orgasm falls out.
Take feedback.
After she has time to catch her breath, it’s a very good idea to stop and ask her how you did. Let her know she can be honest, because you want to learn to do better.
She may not feel comfortable being honest with you, in which case you’ll just have to pay attention to her body language. But if she opens up, you might be able to get better more quickly.
Keep food far away from her vagina.
It may be tempting to squirt some chocolate syrup or whipped cream on her vagina and go to town. I’ve even heard of guys sucking on hard candies while they eat their girl out.
Don’t do this. The vagina’s flora can be easily disrupted by sugar, which can lead to yeast infections. If you really want a flavor experience during your stay, use a flavored dental dam or flavored lube.
Don’t go between the butthole and the vagina.
Analingus is super rad, and it can be a part of your sexual encounter. However, if you’re not using a dental dam, once you’ve licked her butt, you cannot go back to the vagina.
This is because, as much as we’d like to forget, the asshole has some bacteria. The vagina is sensitive, and can get infected or irritated by this bacteria.
The easiest way to deal with this problem is just to use dental dams. You don’t have to worry about germs and you can go back and forth as you please, as long as you switch out dental dams each time.
Don’t attack her junk (unless she asks you to).
Ease into giving a girl oral. Generally, she’s not going to want you to start out by stabbing her clitoris with your tongue. It’s best to be gentle, at least at first.
Don’t make orgasm the be all end all.
If you go into oral fixated on giving her an orgasm, it’s less likely your partner will actually get there. You want to please her, but don’t act like an eager high schooler trying to get all A’s on their report card.
Sex is a journey. Every sex act doesn’t have to end in an orgasm every time. Cunnilingus can be part of foreplay, or your partner can be finished off another way. You can move on to electroplay, or sniffing her used panties, or masturbating together. That’ll be good, too.
You’re not a failure if you don’t crack the code the first time. There will be many more opportunities to come.
Did You Know We're The Biggest
Sell Now
Create Your Sexy Shop In Under 2 Minutes
Make Money Selling Your Used Items
Buy Now
Find Lovingly Used Panties, Toys & More
Explore Your Kinks With Our Sexy Sellers
Did You Know We're The
Sell Now
Create Your Sexy Shop In Under 2 Minutes
Make Money Selling Your Used Items
Buy Now
Find Lovingly Used Panties, Toys & More
Explore Your Kinks With Our Sexy Sellers
