If you’ve ever heard of ASMR, you probably fall into two camps.
The first is passionate about ASMR videos. They’ll say that the videos cured their anxiety and help them fall asleep every night. They’ll emphatically say that ASMR isn’t sexual at all.
The other thinks that people who are into ASMR are a bunch of weirdos, and the videos make them feel uncomfortable. They think that all ASMR is sexual and all of these people are turned on by haircuts and hair brushing.
The discussion about ASMR is very polarizing and intense. If you’ve never felt the head tingles and are curious about the practice, listen to my soft, calming voice (preferably with headphones) and let’s dive in.
We did a podcast on this topic! Listen below or on iTunes, Google Podcasts and Spotify.
ASMR is a sensation that some people experience while taking in certain types of stimuli. Some things that bring it on include whispering, fingernails tapping, and even folding towels. It’s short for Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response, and it generally feels like a tingling sensation on the scalp that turns into deep relaxation.
Although it’s possible to experience ASMR in the real world, many people can get the feeling on demand by watching YouTube videos.
ASMR feels different to everyone. Those curious about ASMR focus on the physical sensation people experience. Some describe it as a mild electrical current or bubbles in a glass of champagne. It can feel like light and pleasurable tingles, sparkles, fuzziness, or relaxation in the head, neck, spine, and the rest of the body.
ASMR isn’t just a physical sensation. Many argue that it’s psychological as well. People who experience this facet often describe it as deep relaxation, calmness, comfort, peacefulness, or sleepiness. Although many people enjoy the physical sensation, the psychological benefits are the main reason they love ASMR.
Well...mostly no. Most of the information we have about ASMR is anecdotal, and there’s no scientifically-proven explanation to why the sensations of ASMR happen.
The term “ASMR” wasn’t coined until 2010 by Jennifer Allen. She played a big part in creating the ASMR movement we have today, since she also created the first ASMR Facebook group and made online discussions about the phenomenon. There wasn’t a lot of discussion about the tingly sensation before that, either online or in books.
Many have asked why there’s no historical evidence of people feeling ASMR, and to be honest, that’s just a big ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Maybe people in the past felt like they couldn’t speak or write about it because people would perceive it as sexual. (And if there’s anything puritannical cultures hated, it’s anything sexual besides in-matrimony-missionary.) If someone did speak up, it might have been treated like some sort of disease, which could have been major bad news. You might have leeches placed all over you, and that’s on the doctor’s good day. Makes sense that you wouldn’t want to risk it.
We really don’t have any idea what percentage of the population experiences these feelings. It seems like it’s a minority, but there’s no other substantial evidence. In one small study, researchers found that people who experience ASMR were more open to new experiences while also being more introverted.
Here are some theories as to why people experience ASMR.
It might be linked to chemicals in the brain, namely endorphins, dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin. The theory is that these chemicals are released when people watch ASMR content, which creates the feelings and increased relaxation.
Another theory is that ASMR might be a mini seizure. There’s not a lot of evidence to back this up, but it fits the tingly feeling. If the appropriate stimuli are brought on, a seizure can result, like flashing lights or low blood sugar, so this fits the ASMR model.
Lastly, ASMR might activate the pleasure response. We are wired to experience pain and pleasure, and we’re more likely to continue to do the things that cause pleasure. Since all humans are not the same, it makes sense that some might find pleasure in something that seems abnormal to other people.
ASMRheads can provide anecdotal evidence that watching ASMR videos can help with relaxation, sleep, and many health problems.
Studies have shown that these videos can help with relaxation. Besides the tingling, this is the main effect of ASMR. 98% of participants in one study said they watch the videos to relax, and another similar study said that these videos made them feel calmer.
Watching an ASMR video can help people fall asleep easier and even overcome insomnia. Relaxing before sleep is one of the things that is hardest to overcome regarding sleeplessness, and it’s difficult because many people can’t turn their brain off. The physical and mental relaxation of ASMR is a great, drug-free option to help you fall asleep.
Since ASMR videos help people relax, they might be able to help with many chronic physical and mental health conditions. ASMR viewers say that it helps with their depression, anxiety, ADD, PTSD, and chronic pain. There haven’t been any studies proving that ASMR helps with these issues, but if people are feeling like it has improved their lives, it’s obviously doing some good in the world. However, watching ASMR is never ever ever a substitute for talking to a therapist or taking your medication. Like, ever.
We usually associate the word “trigger” with something bad. For people who have mental illnesses like PTSD and anxiety, a trigger is something that causes you to have a negative reaction like a panic attack or flashbacks to a traumatic event. There’s been a lot of parodies of being “triggered” by something as simple as not getting the right order at Taco Bell, but these attitudes stigmatize mental illnesses.
But triggers for ASMR are different, and they’re good things! Triggers are the types of sensory input that make you have an ASMR response. There are many different triggers, and most ASMR junkies react to more than one. ASMRtists, people who make ASMR content, make videos running the gamut of triggers so as many people can experience the tingles and relaxation as possible.
There are three types of these triggers. First, there are tactile triggers. You can’t experience these in a video, because they involve physical contact. Most commonly, people might experience ASMR from being lightly touched. Another tactile sensation could be an ear massage or having your hair played with. This can happen intentionally, like asking a partner to do it, or it might happen unintentionally, like during a checkup at the doctor or a hairdressing appointment.
Next are auditory triggers. These are probably the most common triggers used in ASMR videos. These are the ones you hear, and the reason that ASMRtists often have special microphones.
Some sounds that are popular triggers include:
But they get more diverse than that. Here are some more specific sounds:
The sounds are often slow-paced. There’s silence in between sounds and speech is often slow. This makes sense if people are looking for a relaxing experience that will help them sleep. ASMR videos are often very long, between 45 minutes and 3 hours, so you might hear the same sound for a long time.
It’s much easier to experience auditory triggers in a certain environment or ASMR-specific video. First, it’s important to listen to auditory ASMR with headphones. It’s very difficult to get the full sensation by listening out of speakers, since it’s less immersive. Good headphones that go over your ears are best, but earbuds are good, too.
To experience ASMR, the sounds usually need to be isolated and crystal clear. ASMR content is usually recorded with special equipment so there’s absolutely no background noise. This allows people listening to hear nuances to noises that they’ve never heard before.
Lastly, the volume of the content should be consistent. No one wants to be shocked by a loud noise while listening to ASMR. This is generally why ASMRtists avoid having ads play in the middle of their YouTube videos.
ASMR can also be triggered visually. This can accompany auditory triggers as well, like using a soft voice while drawing.
Some common visual triggers are:
One important trigger is personal attention and affirmation. This often involves an ASMRtist paying close attention to the viewer. This often involves roleplay, like having a doctor do an exam or having a hotel desk clerk check you in. There are also videos where the person in the video says nice things about the person watching, like telling them the world is better with them in it. This trigger kind of falls between all three categories, since it involves sound and visuals, but also simulates tactile feelings.
ASMR can be intimidating to break into for newbies, since there are so many videos for so many different triggers. Wading through 20 videos just to find out whether something works for you can be a huge chore.
Luckily, there are compilations of different ASMR techniques that put everything all in one place. Our favorite was this video by WhispersRed ASMR. It has 22 triggers included. Since the video is over two hours long, the best way to view it is by giving each trigger some time to work for you. If you feel like it’s not effective, you can skip forward to the next one. If the sound makes you uncomfortable right away, skip to the next trigger. ASMR should be relaxing, not annoying.
If you think you might be triggered by soft voices, personal attention, or roleplay here’s a flight attendant roleplay and a doctor roleplay. If you don’t like these voices, you can look for roleplays from other creators until you find a better match.
Now here’s the real question for kinky people: is it sexual? Can you get sexual gratification from ASMR? Is it something new to try in the bedroom?
This is a touchy subject for people who are really into ASMR. Much of the community has tried to distance themselves from the idea that there’s anything sexual to the sensation.
However, there are definitely some aspects of ASMR that are definitely similar to kinks, and it seems like some people are turned on by ASMR content.
One of the most fascinating things about ASMR is how gendered the field is. The vast majority of videos are made by women. A prominent ASMR app called Tingles says that 70% of its artists are women. And if you look at the top 10 ASMR videos on YouTube this year, only one is made by a man who’s on camera or speaking.
There are, however, men who make ASMR content. Some of this content is similar to most women’s, featuring reassuring whispering or fingernail tapping. However, there are also channels that are very different.
One of these creators is ManlyASMR. He makes videos aimed at women where he pretends to be their boyfriend or sexual partner. He has videos where he pretends to have phone sex with you, pretends to be your boyfriend, and even rejoices that you’re pregnant. These elaborate roleplay scenarios seem like they’re intended to be porn for women, although it’s softcore enough to get around the YouTube censors.
One of the weirdest genres of ASMR that’s mostly dominated by men is horror ASMR. Ephemeral Rift makes many of these videos, including one at a mental institution where the person speaking is wearing a plague doctor mask and another where you get buried alive in a woman’s garden. The freakiest one we found was called “Serial Killer Victim Roleplay,” where a serial killer tells you how he’s going to kill you—in a soft, calming voice, of course.
It isn’t necessarily that men and women are hardwired to make ASMR content differently. It might have to do with what audiences want from them. Many men say that they won’t watch ASMR made by other men because it makes them uncomfortable.
“ASMR is a pleasurable physical sensation,” Redditor MyShamefulShit wrote in a thread on r/ASMR about the topic of gender. “While I pass absolutely no judgement on others, I won’t be dishonest and say that I’m totally comfortable receiving physical pleasure from other males. It’s no different than massage; I’m much more at ease with a female.”
So it seems like the medium isn’t immune to the “no homo” phenomenon. And if men are going to watch other men, they want it to be in a macho context like horror. It seems hard to deny that ASMR videos are sexual if you’re that emphatic about only watching them when they’re made by someone who’s your gender of preference.
It’s a common idea that ASMR is inherently sexual. Many people think it’s weird and pervy (which is how they treat kinky behavior, too). This idea is probably partially informed by not understanding the sensation. Some tingleheads also call the feeling a “braingasm,” which is confusing to an outsider.
This perception that ASMR is always sexual has had some major effects on the industry. The Chinese government has actually decided to ban the videos, citing that they’re vulgar and obscene. They argued that they could corrupt minors.
There have been issues in the U.S., too. YouTube has gone through a few phases of removing or demonetizing ASMR videos because they think they’re not appropriate for advertisers, which can affect ASMRtists bottom lines. These are “clean” videos without anything that should trip up YouTube’s algorithm other than being ASMR. PayPal has closed ASMR creators accounts, and Patreon flags ASMRtists’ accounts as NSFW, even if all of their content is “clean.”
Most ASMR enthusiasts don’t view the sensation as sexual. There’s been a lot of pushback from the community about this idea, because it changes people’s perception of ASMR. Creators who make SFW videos have to put up with sexual requests and comments that they’re not looking for. And the genre was even named ASMR because the creator of the term didn’t want it to sound sexual.
So sure, it’s not sexual all the time. But can we make it sexual?
ASMR porn does exist. There’s a subreddit called r/nsfwasmr, and it has very regular postings. If you search “ASMR” on PornHub, you get 3,432 results. When you look through them, things get super interesting.
First, there are some videos listed that are basically just normal ASMR videos. For example, there’s one where two girls wear cat ears, show a little cleavage, and lick an aural microphone for 18 minutes. It’s not that different from something you’d see on YouTube, honestly. (Although maybe that sort of says something about what’s on YouTube.)
There are also some that are sexual, but don’t involve taking any clothes off or simulating any sex. For instance, ASMRNetwork has a video where she softly moans, moving her head back and forth so each headphone gets a little bit of the action.
Then there are the ones that would qualify as mainstream porn. Most of them involve intimacy rather than dirty talk. In an interesting video, the star pretends like she and the viewer just got back from a date. She does strip down, but spends most of her time heavy breathing and kissing near the camera. Another is supposed to simulate a woman getting into bed and falling asleep next to you. She actually uses the lace on her bra to make the crinkle effect popular in many ASMR videos before she takes her clothes off.
There’s also a genre where genitals are supposed to make sounds that activate ASMR. There are pussy fingering videos and ones where women suck a dick (although it’s usually a dildo), all for the sounds.
So what does this mean? First, that ASMR porn does exist, so if you’d be turned on by combining sexy content and ASMR, you’re not alone, and there’s content for that.
What’s surprising is that it’s mostly rather tame. Some of the ASMRtists were naked or topless, but often their genitals weren’t in view. Maybe that means that people who are turned on by ASMR don’t actually need to watch porny videos to get off. Maybe regular ASMR videos work just fine for that purpose, because it’s about either comfort or getting the tingly sensation.
Okay but for real. Can you get down to ASMR content or not?
“ASMR is not a sexual response, which doesn’t mean it can’t be sexualized,” said Craig Richard, author of the book “Brain Tingles.”
People are sexually turned on by many things that aren’t inherently sexual. We use leather boots, whipped cream, and spatulas in our everyday lives and don’t see them as sexual. However, for the right person, they can present quite a treat. It’s the same thing for ASMR.
The thing is that many people view ASMR as sensual. ASMR activates your senses, in the same way as a tender kiss from a partner or cuddling with a friend. All of these things are sensual experiences.
Some people are turned on by sensuality. Having someone whisper in you ear or say kind things to you is an intimate experience, and it might make you horny.
That’s perfectly okay! As long as everyone is a consenting adult, whatever gets your motor going is A-okay.
Keep in mind that not everyone feels this way about ASMR, so there are some boundaries you shouldn’t cross. Don’t leave sexual comments on the videos of SFW YouTubers. Send money to ASMR creators that you watch through Patreon, Twitch, or however they accept it when you can. And if someone says they think ASMR is gross, let them know that 1) ASMR isn’t inherently sexual, and 2) even if it were, SEX IS NOT GROSS!
Now sit back, put on an ear massage video, and let the sensations take you where they may.
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