Here’s the thing: people have always been freaky. You, me, your best friend, your boss, your barista...everyone. But now, finally, people are beginning to talk about their kinks openly.
Recently, the online used underwear trade has been getting a lot of media attention due to its use as a plot device in season three of Orange is the New Black and the subsequent success of sites like ours (thanks, Netflix!). As a result, people are starting to realize just how common this fetish is.
Naturally, media attention has inspired hordes of curious individuals, amateurs fetishists and sellers alike, to seek out more information online. And they’re not just going to the dark corners of the web to find it. No, they’re going to “the front page of the internet” itself – Reddit.
That’s where you’ll find the white knight of the used panty kink-dom, user GoneBeforeYouNOit69, who has hosted three AMAs (Ask Me Anything) to talk about his used panty fetish.
As it turns out, he’s got a lot to teach us.
So, who is this person?
Well, for starters, he’s a dude, as are most, but not all, buyers of used panties. For safety reasons, GoneBeforeYouNOit69 chooses not to share exact information about himself. But he does paint a pretty general picture of his profile: straight male between 21 and 25 years old, living in Canada, and working a tech job that provides a stable source of income.
That income, as it turns out, is entirely necessary to supporting his fetish. As of his most recent AMA, GoneBeforeYouNOit69 had spent over $4,000 on more than 300 pairs of used panties.
Another (very) personal detail he mentions is that he’s never had penetrative sex. That’s right, the old penis-in-vagina – not for him. Despite having had the chance, he is open about the fact that he’s never felt comfortable “going all the way.” This is just one instance of his exemplary candidness, the number one lesson you should take away from his Q&A sessions.
GoneBeforeYouNOit69 completely assumes his experience and owns his sexuality. He’s a healthy fetishist who knows what he wants and is comfortable talking about it. Open discussion, after all, is central to destigmatizing kink.
He does a great job getting this point across when someone asks him if he thinks he’ll ever regret spending so much on used panties. “Likely not,” he says, “I mean I budgeted my money.” He goes on to compare his panty habit to buying cigarettes or eating out. “Look at the total amount you spend on [things you don’t need] and everything adds up.”
As you can probably imagine, the most common question GoneBeforeYouNOit69 gets is “why?” What is the appeal of used panties?
Despite the hackneyed idea of “the panty sniffer” that most people attribute to panty fetishes, his answer is, surprisingly, not the smell. For him, the most appealing aspect of used underwear is the way it looks on the women, almost more so than the way the woman looks herself. In order of importance, he says: “sight, smell, then taste.”
Like many other buyers, GoneBeforeYouNOit69 has very specific taste when it comes to picking out which pairs to purchase. He prefers certain styles and colors and is willing to pay more for the perfect pair. His favorite style? A high-cut bikini.
In one case, he had been looking for a “pink satin bikini/tanga/cheeky hybrid” for months, and when he finally found it, there was another bidder. Ultimately, he shelled out $150 to outbid his competitor.
Though use is obviously important, GoneBeforeyouNOit69’s behavior shows that his used panty fetish is, first and foremost, a panty fetish. When asked, he can’t say when or why it started, but it’s not hard to venture a guess.
What’s not apparent on the surface of the sale is that while these women (and sometimes men) are selling the idea of intimacy (the fragrance of a lady’s nether region is pretty damn intimate), they’re also selling specific images of femininity, as represented by styles of underwear. It’s all at once, very simple and more layered than you might think.
One thing we can gather from GoneBeforeyouNOit69’s personal experience is that communication between buyer and seller is very important. He breaks down what makes a “quality” pair of panties into a simple pie chart: 50% comes from talking with the seller before purchasing, 40% is the style, and 10% is how to seller has worn the pair.
Obviously, GoneBeforeyouNOit69 doesn’t speak for all used panty buyers. Maybe personality isn’t your thing. Maybe seeing a photo of the wearer is enough for you. But it is clear that GoneBeforeyouNOit69 isn’t alone in wanting to get to know his suppliers first.
For many buyers, talking with sellers is a fundamental part of what turns them on. Feeling like you know the person the panties come from is part of the intimate appeal. In one of his AMAs, a former panty seller comments that during her 4 years of selling, she met many “sweethearts and even a long-term friend or two.” Of course, she also says she met some weirdos, but that’s just part of the gig.
I mean, what do you do with 300+ pairs of panties?
For GoneBeforeYouNOit69, it depends. Once the panties have served their purpose (ahem, once he cums), there are several ways it could go. In fact, he might not even “use” them at all. Sometimes, he throws them away immediately, as he explains in a comically relatable analogy in which he compares panties to porn.
In other instances, by the time the pair arrives, he’s totally changed his mind about them and washes them right away. It may seem like a waste until you remember that the panties themselves are the main thing that turns him on. In these situations, once he’s washed the pair, he’ll give them to a girlfriend to wear, at which point he’ll finally use them.
The same goes for pairs he does use right away. If he likes them enough, he’ll use them, wash them, and use them again once a girlfriend has worn them. Then, if the pair is nice enough, he might just give them to her to keep. Nice lingerie is expensive, after all.
GoneBeforeYouNOit69’s used panty recycling once again reflects his praiseworthy candor when it comes to talking about his kink. Sharing is caring, as they say. By openly communicating his preferences with partners, not only does he get more bang for his buck, but his partners get free panties, too!
Once again, sexual preferences are personal and unique. We’re not implying that GoneBeforeYouNOit69 is representative of all used panty buyers. But he does help shed some light on what remains, for the most part, a shadow market. And he does so with remarkable honesty and good intentions.
The lessons we can glean from his discourse are genuinely insightful to all – the aspiring sellers, the fellow fetishists, and the merely curious. Whichever of these titles you assume, go ahead and own it. If there’s only one thing you take away from GoneBeforeYouNOit69, it should be that there’s no shame in letting your kinky side out.
To read the entirety of GoneBeforeYouNOit69’s most recent AMA, click here.