When you think of intimate relationships with ghosts, you’re likely picturing a young, attractive Patrick Swayze and a dewy-eyed Demi Moore saying their touching goodbye in the movie Ghost. If you’ve never seen that movie…go watch it, it’s a classic.
While we can all agree Swayze was gorgeous in that (and every) movie - most of us can also agree that having sex with a ghost isn’t exactly something we fantasize about on a daily basis.
But, some people do...and who am I to judge?
When you’ve got iconic pop stars writing love songs about their close encounters of the erotic kind...it’s worth looking into, right?
So I did some digging.
You might be surprised, but this “phenomenon” (as some are calling it) of having sexual relations with ghosts, spirits or other supernatural beings has actually been very well chronicled over many years, from many different people (including some celebs!)
When you’ve got whole fetish communities for things like painting your lover like a canvas with their own period blood or being aroused by emptying your bladder onto someone else...why not throw some supernatural orgies into the mix?
To be honest, this isn’t the weirdest thing in my browser history right now. But it is one of the more controversial, for one main reason: people don’t think it’s real.
One of the main reasons spectrophilia gets a bad wrap is because many people don’t really understand what the term means and just assume that it’s people making up stories about having sex with ghosts.
The real meaning of “spectrophilia” refers to the fetish in which people derive sexual arousal and pleasure from spirits or ghosts. While the jury may be out on the reality of ghosts and spirits, who are we to say you can’t be attracted to one?
I mean, vampires aren’t real - and yet, I wouldn’t kick one out of bed if it looked like that sexy vamp from the UK cult classic Being Human.
But where spectrophilia really differs from the more “ordinary” fetishes is the second meaning of the word. Spectrophilia is also interchangeably used as a term to describe alleged sexual encounters between ghosts and humans - which is how the idea of this fetish being “made up” came about.
You might be thinking - anything can be story on the internet, this is just a viral trend of people claiming to have sex with ghosts. Well, not really. Documentation of people claiming to have had sexual relations with demonic presences and ghosts date back to the Middle Ages.
Since the beginning of human-kind, we have asked questions about the supernatural, about ghosts and about spirituality. Whatever your stance is on ghosts, I can assure you this is an extremely real fetish that many people have very firm opinions on...and it’s been that way for centuries.
Most cultures around the world have some form of belief in spirits that linger on beyond their human deaths. The most commonly known example of this are the legends of Incubus and Succubus.
According to early Mesopotamians, incubi are male demons who engage in sexual activity with women who are asleep. Succubi are the female counterpart of the demon who does the same thing with seducing sleeping men.
Having sex with incubi or succubi was believed to be how witches were conceived because it’s the force of something supernatural mixed with the force of human beings.
Whether you believe in witches and succubi is actually irrelevant to the point I’m trying to make (don’t hex me, Wiccan goddesses!). The point is that for centuries (in various cultures), spiritual beings who are very sexual in nature have been known to exist.
Now that we live in an era where kinks and fetishes are celebrated and even blogged about, people are just embracing beliefs like this and have coined a name for it.
And then the internet happened. I think we can all agree that you can find pretty much anything on the internet these days.
Mainstream media (namely, the internet) has actually been a big reason why the presence of ghosts, spirits or supernatural beings can be seen as erotic or intimate.
It started on the big screen...consider the vampire phase brought on by Twilight that got everyone hungry for blood in the bedroom. Or go back to one of the most iconic PG ghostly hookups to ever happen, between Casper and Kat in the 1995 cult classic Casper.
Then came the forums...sultry fanfiction written about supernatural characters in TV shows or the very real obsession over turning into a vampire into the bedroom slowly became the norm online. There is really no denying that our basic human interest in the supernatural has shifted into something inherently sexual over the last two decades, largely due to the existence and accessibility of these ideas in movies and online.
This media obsession with ghosts, spirits and supernatural beings may be one of the reasons why many people believe it’s possible to have intimate relationships with ghosts.
Here’s a quote from Paranormal Activity 2 start Natasha Blasick, describing the sexual romp she believes she had with a ghost.
“Their hands were pushing me against my will and then I could feel the weight of their body on top of me but I couldn’t see anybody...at first I was very confused - then I just decided to relax and it was really pleasurable. I really enjoyed it.”
While you may be thinking there’s a certain kind of irony in a paranormal movie actress getting it on with a spirit, she’s not alone in this.
Below is a quote that’s taken directly from Kesha’s 2012 song Supernatural, which she claims to have written in ode to her own alleged sexual experience with a male ghost.
“When you take my body to the stars, I believe it. Boy, this love is supernatural, can you feel it?”
Apparently ghost lover boys make for good play things...who knew?
One of the most well known, “documented” cases of spectrophilia happened in the 1970s, and it’s anything but sexy...in fact, it’s pretty disturbing.
Back then, a woman claimed that a spectral being raped her, repeatedly. Her sons would also give the same account to the paranormal investigators who were looking into her case, saying they tried to help her countless times only to be shoved away by the invisible forces. One of the sons even described the spiritual beings as a kind of “fog” or “like human, but not quite.”
Listening to their stories of these alleged encounters is truly heartbreaking, as they have clearly been through something traumatic. I’ll leave it to you to decide what you believe that is - but they describe “the entity” as being not just one, but three spirits. Two smaller creatures who would hold her down, and a larger creature, who would assault her. Her story was later turned into a movie called The Entity.
Contrary to this being one of the most prominent stories of spectro-erotic relations, nowadays many people have explained their out-of-this-world sex encounters are consensual. Many people even claim to have consensual, intimate relationships with spirits or ghosts.
There are an infinite amount of ways that humans perceive things like spirits, ghosts, and supernatural energies. Before you shake your head at this, consider something: haven’t you ever met someone who believes in things that can’t be rationally explained?
Religion and the use of horoscopes are two of the examples that come to my mind. We can’t prove these things exist, and yet millions of people believe whole-heartedly in them.
As for how it physically works, people who claim to have experienced it have given a few different explanations....
Most of the stories you hear about spectrophilia don’t involve sex as we humans know it. Kesha, Natasha Blasick and many others who have recounted their paranormal sexual experiences mention things like “a force” or “a presence” or “a touch”.
In fact, others suggest that the spirit or presence merely wanted to help them pleasure themselves.
There is a very real term called “psycholagny”, which refers to the ability to reach orgasm without any genital stimulation. A perfect example of this are what most of us refer to as “wet dreams” - dreams where we are actual able to achieve orgasm while asleep.
This ties into spectrophilia how?
Well, if you believe wet dreams are possible - it’s not a very big leap to believe a perceived spirit was able to make Kesha have the most intense orgasm of her life.
Along the same lines as a psychic orgasm, astral sex is also a very real thing that people have claimed to have had. Astral sex is the idea of projecting yourself out of your body (an out of body experience) to have sex with someone.
In this case, that “someone” just happens to be on a different plane of existence - but in “typical” astrosex, the idea is that you and your partner both leave your bodies and your spirits get down and dirty with each other.
While that might sound like I’m being flippant, reading a bit more into astral-projection sex made me kind of curious, actually. Astral projection guru Steve Jones honestly believes that everyone has the ability to have out-of-body sexual experiences with another soul. And he’s not the only one: there’s an entire online community that is dedicated to teaching people how to have astral sex.
The idea is that you and your partner lay flat on your back in bed, not touching each other. Relaxing your body as much as possible, you start to feel your muscles loosen and your mind fall into a meditative state. From there, once you’re deep enough in your meditation, you can imagine your astral self sitting up, parting from your physical self. From there, it’s go time.
While you might scoff at the notion of this...is it really that different from something like hypnotherapy that countless women claim help them conquer the pain of childbirth. Hypnosis and meditation are interesting, incredible experiences...who’s to say what we can and can’t accomplish during a meditation session?
There arge quite a few cases where someone believes they’ve had sex with a spirit of ghost in the form of a physical human being. Typically, they explain this happens through possession - an entity possesses a loved one or a stranger to do the deed and then moves on quickly after that. While some of you may claim this is a lonely date’s explanation of a one-night-stand...the amount of these stories that are out there is kind of eerie.
Adding to that, there are also stories about people who claim to have had sex with ghosts, spirits or the actual devil himself - and this dates back to the middle ages.
Do people really believe in this stuff? Absolutely!
A perfect example...Jeanette D’Abadie. She was a 16 year old girl living in France during the middle ages, who claimed to have had unconsensual sex with the devil himself. She went into descriptive detail about how his semen was cold, and she that only ever felt it the first time they had sex.
And then there was Aleiser Crowley. He was one of the most reviled men of the 20th century, and he also claims to have had a sexual relationship with the devil.
Even in more recent years...moving up to the 21st century, a Texas woman named Isabella Miroslav claimed that she had not only slept with Lucifer, but that he had gotten her pregnant.
Whatever your take on supernatural sex is - it’s really interesting to read all of these stories.
As far as intrigue goes, human beings have been curious about things like the afterlife, heaven, hell, spirituality, ghosts, and supernatural beings since the beginning of time. Regardless of what you believe, I am sure you know someone who believes in some form of deity, entity or religion.
While I don’t exactly think ghost sex is something that could happen to me, who am I to say it’s not real? I mean, I firmly believe Jack had to die in the Titanic movie. They couldn’t both be on the door. It’s not that they couldn’t both fit - they were too heavy!!! The door started to sink, you could literally see it happening when he tried to get on it.
And yet - there is really a NEW YORK TIMES article dedicated to this “plot hole” where Rose and Jack could have both fit on the door and that he didn’t have to die.
While people who maintain this specific argument irk me to my core...my point is - people believe different things and regardless of how much fact or knowledge you present them with - they will continue to believe what they believe.
So, why not just let them? No matter your stance on ghosts, I think this is just one fetish that is best left to those who believe in it.
Headlines like “Louth Woman Who Married Ghost Offers Tips on Having Supernatural Sex” often come with a bit of a sarcastic bite to them, making people think the article is poking fun at those who believe in this kind of thing.
But regardless of what you or I believe, there are more and more real stories of men and women who claim to have very real, very committed relationships with ghosts.
I mean, this is a woman who not only claims to have regular intercourse with a 300-year-old pirate, but she actually married him! However you feel about that - she makes a very interesting point in the article, saying: “Let’s go back 20 years ago. If I were gay, look at the kind of abuse I’d get then.”
Whether you know someone who believes in spectrophilia or are just reading this to kill some time, you’re likely thinking that this is a bunch of nonsense. But just give some thought to why on earth someone might believe something like this.
For one - there’s no proof against it. I mean, there’s also no proof for it...but you can’t say for certain without a doubt that ghost sex has never happened. So, there’s that.
Aside from that, think of another reason why someone might feel a ghostly presence in an intimate way. Maybe it’s a comfort thing.
I mean, there are thousands of stories out there where people sincerely claim to have felt the presence (spiritually or physically) of someone they’ve recently lost.
Maybe that someone who has lost a spouse is the same someone who believes that erotic tingle they felt the other night in bed was their late husband dropping in to say hello.
And really, what’s the harm in that?
Sometimes the fantasy can take us places we honestly didn’t think was possible.
Picture this: role-play mixed with a little too much alcohol, a blindfold and a few seductive touches from your inebriated partner. Am I the only one who thinks it’s totally and completely possible to imagine having sex with a ghost when it’s really your husband who is 6-beers deep?
Whether the role-play is real and you just like to pretend to be supernatural beings to have raunchy, carnal sex or you had one too many glasses of wine - if you are interested in expirimenting with supernatural sex...there’s always that.
Who knows, maybe it’s a “bloody mary” type situation with a kinky twist - where if you orgasm while calling out a ghost’s name three times, they will appear.
Whatever you decide to do and whomever you decide to do it with (on this plane of existence or another) - play safe, friends.