“Paying attention to our sexual wellness doesn’t mean you have to talk about sex...or that you must have sex. It is that people understand what sexual wellness is and (its) relationship to your overall happiness and health.” - MarieFranceAsia
I really could not have said it better myself, which is why I quoted it. This article is on sexual wellness, but by no means does that mean it’s specifically about sex or masturbation or that you have to be doing a lot of either in order to be a sexually well individual.
The best “definition” I’ve come across for sexual wellness is from Med Gadget: “sexual wellness can be defined as a blend of physical state, mental state and social wellbeing that has a connection with sexuality.”
This can be a growing awareness regarding your sexual health and desires, it can be a respectful approach to all things involving sexuality and/or sexual relationships and most importantly, it can be about your sexual relationship with yourself.
NEWSFLASH: it’s not just about sex.
Sexual wellness, although heavily focused on sex, isn’t just about sex. Let me explain: your sex drive, your sexual pleasure, your sexual nature - all of these things are impacted by a variety of other things. Your mood, your diet, your sleep patterns, even your coffee intake can impact your sexual wellbeing. Really, sexual wellness is about staying healthy in mind and energy so you can stay healthy sexually, too.
With that being said, the word “healthy” is also relative here. Something that is healthy for you may not be what the doctor ordered (and by “doctor”, I mean you, because ultimately you decide what’s best for your body) for someone else.
Understanding your body is key to unlocking pleasure and comfort.
One of the most important parts of being sexually healthy is understanding your body. Your body really is a temple, as cheesy as that sounds - and every temple requires different kinds of maintenance. From caring for your skin so you feel beautiful to eating the right food so your body is healthy - wellness is all-encompassing. Understanding how your body works, what it needs to feel good and maybe most importantly, what it needs to avoid feeling bad are all integral parts of your sexual wellbeing.
Ultimately, YOU decide what is important in your sexual wellness regime.
For me, sexual wellness revolves around sex, masturbation, and caring for my body. I prioritize these things because they are the things that are most important to me right now. While sex and masturbation seem pretty straightforward, my sexual health regime includes daily orgasms (most of the time multiple) because I know myself well enough to know that I have a very high sex drive and get easily stressed if I don’t experience this kind of self-care every day. (And yes, orgasms count as self-care!)
For someone with a lower sex drive, they may place more importance on things like connecting intimately with their partner or caring for their body with workouts or skincare routines. For someone who is trying to conceive a child, their sexual wellness routine will revolve around tracking ovulation, keeping their body healthy, and optimizing their sex life with the hopes of getting pregnant.
Ultimately, YOU decide what goes into your sexual health regime and how your journey looks. This is something that will look different for you depending on where you are in your relationships and in your life.
How can I achieve sexual wellness?
As always...there are apps for that.
No matter where you are in your journey, as always, there’s an app for that. From tracking ovulation and periods to apps that literally track and analyze your orgasms - let’s talk about the best sexual wellness apps every woman should know about.
Sex and sexuality are a part of everyone’s life, even if you aren’t having sex regularly (or even at all). Aside from reproduction, sex can be about intimacy and pleasure with a partner but it can also be about connecting with yourself on a deeper, more intimate level.
All types of sex (intercourse, masturbation, oral, etc) can offer benefits to your life that you may find surprising.
Did you know that orgasms help:
These are just some of the benefits of orgasms detailed by HealthLine.
For women, in particular, orgasms can:
Orgasms can benefit your mental health too…
Sexual wellness is an all-encompassing approach to all things pleasure - from sex with a partner to masturbation to being mindful about the things you desire and how you perceive pleasure. All of those things matter, and building a healthy and regular sexual wellness routine is important.
One of the best ways to do that? Apps, of course.
There are apps for exercise, apps for sleep tracking, there are even apps for finding a new bar to drink at on Friday nights. Of course, there are apps for sexual health and wellness! From period tracking and fertility to sex education and erotic stories to get you in the mood, there are tons of apps that can help you build a sexually satisfying and healthy lifestyle.
These apps all fall under one (or more) of the following categories:
FERLY: a mindful sex app
Cost: $12.99 monthly / $399.99 one time purchase (lifetime access)
Ferly is all about exploring and understanding your body and optimizing your sex life to provide you with the pleasure and confidence you deserve as a woman. You can explore sensual stories that get you in the mood, you can listen to guided practices that help create connection and intimacy (both with yourself and with your partner) and you can even create personalized programs that are tailored to help you with things you’re struggling with sexually.
Forbes has called this app “emotional and sexual wellness from your phone” and Vanity Fair has explained that this is “something new for women, which is neither toxic porn nor sterile sex-ed.”
This app is available for both Apple and Android devices.
EMJOY: a sexual self-care app
Cost: Free to download, monthly subscriptions available $19.99-$29.99
Emjoy is an intimate self-care app for women by women that focuses on wellness audio guides and passionate stories that will take your intimate self-care to a new level. Dedicated to “breaking down taboos and stigmas to normalize female bodies”, Emjoy has been featured in Vogue, Cosmopolitan, Forbes, NetDoctor, and more.
With Emjoy, you get unlimited access to audio stories, 150+ wellbeing audio sessions, you can set personalized goals and take quizzes to help you better understand your sexual self and you can even create daily routines within the app to help you challenge and love yourself.
This app is available on both Apple and Android devices.
LOVER: an all-encompassing pleasure-focused app
Cost: $9.99 / month subscription after a free trial period
“Let’s have better sex” is the slogan for this app that includes everything from expert treatment to science-based exercises - everything you need to build a more pleasurable sex life. Lover’s evaluation tool completes an assessment of you based on your answers to a series of questions, then, they recommend the perfect exercises and advice to improve and enhance your sex life.
This app has been quoted as being “the key to demystifying your most burning sexual questions and helping you realize exactly what you need in the bedroom.”
This app is available for Apple devices.
LIONESS: the “tracking your orgasm” app (& rabbit vibrator)
Cost: $229.00 for the vibrator, free app download
Lioness is actually a sex toy shop that allows you to purchase a rabbit-style vibrator that then syncs to the Lioness app to track your orgasms. I personally am dying to try this out. How it works: you have some fun with the vibrator (like you normally would while masturbating) after syncing it to the app. You can literally see (and track) your pleasure through the app. You can see how long you lasted, when you climaxed and you can even see how your orgasms change over time, etc.
How does this work? There are sensors embedded on the insertable portion of the vibrator that measures pelvic floor movements. It’s like a Fitbit for your vagina.
“Lioness gives you the power to self-experiment and see how different factors change your arousal and orgasms: mood, stress, alcohol, different partners, and more.”
According to their website, 93% of users had better orgasms and/or understood their body better, 91% of people said it helped them improve their relationships and have more fun during sex/masturbation, and 78% of people enjoyed experimenting with different factors using the Lioness.
This app is available on Apple and Android devices.
Note: you must buy the Lioness vibrator first in order for this app to work.
ROSY: an educational/self-awareness app
Cost: $9.99 / month or $49.99 for six months
An app designed by doctors and psychologists for the 43% of women who have sexual problems and/or questions. Rosy is a one-of-a-kind platform offering women a holistic approach to sexual health and wellness.
Features include educational videos, self-help classes, erotic short stories, and a community-based forum to talk to real women about real issues surrounding female sexual health and wellness. You can also take sexual wellness quizzes to gain insight into how your sexual health journey is progressing.
This app is available on Apple and Android devices.
CLUE: a period and ovulation tracker app
Cost: Free to download, may include in-app purchases for Clue Plus
Clue is a period and ovulation tracker app that I personally use and love. You can get period, PMS and fertile window predictions that you trust based on the information you put in. You can also track sex sessions and symptoms like cramps, nausea, bloating, weight, etc. You can view your data in one clear overview either month by month or a few months at a time to see patterns in your menstruation cycle. You can also set birth control reminder alarms (super helpful if you’re forgetful like me). This app also has a new pregnancy mode where you can track pregnancy symptoms and your due date if you conceive.
This app is available on Apple and Android devices.
FLO: a period and ovulation tracker app
Cost: Free to download, may include in-app purchases for FLO Premium or FLO Assistant
FLO is a period and ovulation tracker app used by over 153 million women around the world. Its key features include a period tracker and ovulation calendar, daily health insights, a health assistant, pregnancy (and post-pregnancy) modes, and forums where you can discuss intimate sexual health topics with other women.
The Wall Street Journal has been quoted saying “Flo is aiming to become more than just an app, with a hub covering all aspects of female health.”
This app is available on Apple and Android devices.
PILLOW PLAY: a “romantic marriage” platform
Cost: $74.00 (one time payment)
“Just press play and follow along together.”
This platform is designed by industry experts to guide you and your lover to new depths of intimacy, connection, and love. You can spend time together, get inspired to try new things in the bedroom, relax, boost each other’s confidence and start an open line of communication about the things you’d like from your sex life.
Thrillist has been quoted saying: “Pillow makes you commit to sitting down with each other and spending some time with the explicit purpose of connecting…”
Pillow was previously available as an app but is not available as an online platform.
AUDIODESIRES: an erotic audio platform
Cost: $35.88 for one year or $3.99 per month
Did you know 90% of women need scenario creation (fantasies, imagination, etc) and a variety of different sensual cues to get in the mood? Audiodesires is an erotic audio platform designed for women and couples to experience everything from romantic and sensual to wild and kinky audio erotica. The site was built by world-class designers, is mobile-friendly, and is very discrete. Audiodesires has a range of stories in both English and Spanish, with more languages being added in the future.
Currently, Audiodesires is a mobile-friendly platform with an app launching in 2021.
KINDU: a “Tinder for sexual activities” app
Cost: Free to download with some in-app purchases available
Kindu is quite essentially Tinder for sexual activities. The app gives you daily ideas to inspire you and your partner, and you swipe yes or no. According to their website, Kindu empowers couples to explore their desires, with the goal being to inspire intimacy in a fun and flirty way. It has a fun system of tracking which sexual activities are popular, with a % of people who “might try this” to a % of people who completed the challenge. You can link your account with your partners and send them certain activities with options like “I like this idea” or “I’m open to this idea” - even “not even on your birthday would I try this.”
This is truly a fun and laid-back way of communicating about your sexual desires with a partner.
Kindu is available on Apple and Android devices.
OVIA: a fertility and cycle tracker app
Cost: Free
With Ovia, you can track your period, pregnancy, symptoms, moods, and more. You can receive accurate predictions for period and ovulation as well as explore articles about fertility and female sexual health. You can connect with a plethora of anonymous women through forums and threads that help you discuss female health. There is even an “Ovia Parenting” app for after the baby is born where you can track your baby’s growth and development, inviting family and friends to see the progress as the baby grows.
I personally have tried both the Ovia and Ovia Parenting apps and absolutely loved them.
Ovia is available on Apple and Android devices.
DESIRE: a couples daring game app
Cost: Free to download, some in-app purchases (like Desire Platinum for $15.49) may be available
This app is about fun! Make date night a sexy adventure with tons of challenges that push your creativity and intimacy levels to new limits. Whether you’re dating, married, or crazy in love, Desire keeps that romance and spark alive with tons of sexy dares and challenges for you to complete together.
With Desire, you can dare your partner (choosing from hundreds of different sexy dares), you can give points based on the spiciness of each dare, get badges based on how daring you and your lover are and there’s even a couples’ private chatroom where you can share pictures and tease each other.
This app is available for Apple and Android devices.
KAMA: a mindful sex app for all bodies
Cost: Free
This app is not only for women but has something unique to offer people of all ages, sexualities, and genders. “Our mission is to improve how you experience love, sex, and intimacy,” their website explains.
“Practice makes pleasure” is one of their logos, and with educational content that’s backed by science, this mindful intimacy app is something both men and women in and out of relationships will find helpful.
This app is currently only available for Apple devices.
With apps like these, you can better understand your body and your mind in order to create a healthy, sustainable, realistic, and pleasurable sexual journey. These kinds of period and ovulation tracker apps can help you understand why your body is going through certain changes at certain parts of your cycle, but it can also help you prepare to handle those changes mentally as well. The apps that are designed to educate you about your own body and sexual health can help you identify if there are any problems that need to be addressed. The apps dedicated to helping you improve your sex life with your partner (or with yourself) can ensure your sex life is sizzling all the time.
With apps like these, you can make sure you’re sexually healthy, educated, and satisfied - always.
Sexual wellness resources for women:
Highsnobiety - sexual wellness products for women
Anthropologie - sexual wellness products and information
Intimina - sexual wellness education for women
Well & Good - inclusive sexual wellness products and tips
Oliver Bonas - sexual wellness products and toys
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