Solo Adventures: Let’s Talk About Anal Masturbation

The used panty marketplace

Let’s talk about anal masturbation. Some people have some very polarizing opinions on anal sex, but here at Sofia Gray, we think of it like any other kind of sex. If it’s pleasurable and everyone is consenting, why not? 

As for my personal opinion - I think butt stuff is underrated. There are so many reasons to explore that part of your body, and the weird social stigmas and taboos around anal play have never really made any sense to me. That being said, if anal play isn’t your thing, that’s okay too! Personal preferences totally come into play here. Some people like anal play, some don’t - and that’s totally fine.

As for the people who enjoy it...why do people love anal play? Well...

It can boost your chances of an orgasm. 
According to a 2010 study, 31% of women surveyed said they’d had anal sex during their last sexual encounter, with 94% of them saying they reached orgasm. 

Prostate orgasms can be intense!
If you’re a person with a prostate, you’re going to want to try this! Prostate orgasms can be intense enough to send waves of pleasure from head to toe! And in females, anal sex can actually stimulate both the G-spot and the A-spot (with both being located along the vaginal wall and stimulated during anal sex) 

You can also end the (very strange) stigma around anal sex. 
While “taboo” / kinky sex can be fun in its own right, really, there shouldn’t be anything taboo about anal sex for any gender or sexual orientation. It’s just another form of sex! 

There are health benefits with (any kind of) orgasm. 
Penetrative sex, oral sex, masturbation...an orgasm is an orgasm, as far as your body is concerned. Sexual activity that leads to orgasm has been linked to things like lower risk of heart disease, better sleep, a stronger immune system, and more. 

Plus, it’s fun - and feels really good! 
Exploring anal sex (or anal masturbation) is a good way for you to get to know your body, have fun with yourself and your partner and maybe even reach new heights of pleasure.

But...how do you get to explore all of that fun stuff without a partner?

Well, anal masturbation, obviously.

New to anal masturbation? Don’t worry - you’re not alone...
I preach a definite “no shame” policy when it comes to consensual sex and self-loving...we all have our own timelines and our own sexual identities, and we all explore things differently. That being said - I’ll go first...the first time I tried anal masturbation was this year, in 2020. At almost 30 years old, I ventured down that road and I’m telling you...it’s pretty amazing. I have no idea why I waited so long to try anal masturbation. 

I was curious, so I took a poll on Twitter to see how many people would be interested in solo anal play or have tried it in the past…

Exploring the wild new world of solo anal play can be a bit daunting, but there are tons of ways you can slowly and safely explore new terrain during your next masturbation session. 

Anal masturbation tips and tricks - from beginner to advanced

Regardless of your gender, anal play can feel amazing if done right, and you can absolutely do it right without a partner. Before you get started, read some of these tips for first-timers. 

You should be horny AF - it helps. 
This should go without saying, but I’m going to say it: masturbation (of any kind) feels way better when you’re absolutely desperate to climax. Edge yourself, include some foreplay, start with genital stimulation, and then work your way to the booty. Being excited and needy for that big O will definitely help you relax and push past any unnecessary doubts you have about plunging into solo anal play. 

Maybe steer clear of anal play if you’re feeling unwell or constipated. 
Tummy trouble and anal play don’t mix - if you’re feeling a bit under the weather, hold off until a later date. 

If you’ve had a bowel movement earlier that day, that’s great! 
Ensuring you’ve cleared out your bowels at some point that day before you play can definitely minimize any potential mess that could occur. 

Consider trimming your nails.
As with most “I’m going to stick this inside me” situations, you want to make sure that what you’re inserting isn’t going to hurt you. While the obvious advice here is not to stick any sharp or ridged objects inside you, consider trimming those nails, too! You can even wear gloves if you prefer to keep the mess to a minimum and don’t mind the sensation. 

What position you’re in will make all the difference. 
When it comes to solo masturbation, positions often get overlooked because they are so much associated with partnered sex - but your masturbation position matters, too. This is especially the case if you’re incorporating anal pleasure into the mix. 

Missionary positions…
When it comes to using your fingers, bending over may give you the easiest access, and lying in a missionary-style position with your legs up against a surface (the wall, your bed frame, etc) may help you get the angle just right. 

Shower positions…
When it comes to toys, using a suction cup dildo allows you to essentially lower yourself onto the toy, which can help you control how fast and deep you go. 

Doggy style positions…
Getting on all fours and reaching behind you to use your fingers or a toy to stimulate yourself back there can definitely be a pleasurable way to experience anal play by yourself. Alternatively, you could attach a suction-based toy to a wall, bend over, and slowly back up into it. 

Straddle positions…
Straddling may be one of the best ways to start with solo anal play, even though it seems like a more advanced technique, it’s really not. Attach a suction toy to a chair, and then slowly lower yourself onto it (facing the chair and holding the back of it for stabilization). This way you can ride the dildo and adjust your speed, depth as you need to. 

“Alone” is really the best time to explore new things. 
While most people may associate anal play with partnered sex, “alone” truly is the best time to explore your body and try new things. There’s no one else around, no pressure, you don’t have to worry about communicating with someone over how slow to go or how deep to go...it’s just you and your booty, getting acquainted. In fact, I’d argue that solo anal masturbation would be a great primer to anal partnered sex. How else are you supposed to know what you want and how you want it unless you explore it by yourself first? 

Start with your fingers in the shower - it’s clean and stress-free.
One of the things you may be worried about is...the mess. I’m not going to skirt around it - you could encounter poop. It is what it is. The best way to avoid this as much as possible is to have empty bowels and be clean. Hence, shower anal masturbation is where it’s at! Soaping up and then sliding a finger in can be the best way to explore and experiment without being afraid of any potential mess that could happen. 

Research which toys can be inserted anally (and which can’t). 
Incorporating toys into your solo anal play can be a great way to explore beyond just using your fingers, but you have to be careful. There are toys that should be used for anal and there are toys that definitely should not be used for anal. While it may be tempting due to size, avoid bullet-sized toys as they can easily go in entirely, which is obviously not what we want. I’ll get into anal sex toys for beginners at the end of this post, but you want to go for something that is easily removed (like a butt plug or anal beads). 

Lube is your best friend.
The golden rule of all things anal: lube is your best friend. Lubing yourself (or your toy) up before you start to play is also a good idea. In fact, I dribble a bit of lube on myself AND the toy, just to make things as easy as possible. Remember, anal sex shouldn’t hurt. There may be some slight discomfort especially if you’re trying something new/bigger than what you’re used to but it should never be outright painful. If you’re experiencing pain, try a bit more lube. 

Remember - there is no right or wrong way to masturbate. 
Everyone has their own preferences. In the shower, in bed, with your fingers, with a toy...everyone likes different things. As long as you’re being smart and safe, starting slow, and have the main goal of just enjoying yourself, you should be all set! 

Level up your game with “wearable” things like butt plugs. 
Once you’re a bit more practiced in the art of solo anal play, it’s time to turn things up a notch. Exploring more advanced anal play techniques can be as simple as buying a new toy or incorporating different types of play into your solo time. 

So - you’ve maybe tried your fingers, anal beads, and maybe you’ve even explored the world of butt plugs. Well...how about wearing that butt plug for a while? Make doing the dishes so much more fun by sliding in your favorite plug and giving yourself a set amount of time doing this as foreplay before going all the way to orgasm. 

Wearable butt plugs are also great if you’re a vagina-haver and can do things like stimulating your clit or G-spot at the same time - what an orgasm that is, trust me - you want to try it. 

Double penetration masturbation is where it’s at. 
Let’s talk about double penetration because this is an amazing thing that women can do and it feels very (VERY) good. Using vaginal and anal penetration at the same time can give you an orgasm not quite like any other you’ve experienced, and once you’re familiar with anal masturbation, you can accomplish this yourself with dildos and other sex toys! 

Incorporate anal masturbation into your D/s play with your partner while they aren’t home. 
Who says masturbation has to be a solo act? While you may think “that’s the exact definition of masturbation” - think again. Having your dom/me instruct you to go get your butt plug and slip it in can be the ultimate thrill and a great way to mesh the wonderful worlds of D/s play and solo play together. Following JOI (jerk off instructions) is a great way to masturbate and still involve your partner, and anal masturbation is no exception! This is a great thing to do if you and your lover are separated by distance or just want to try something new and exciting on a rainy Tuesday night. 

Don’t forget the cleanup. 
Cleaning up once you’re finished can be pretty simple if you decide to cover your toy in a condom - simply strip off and dispose of the condom in the trash. If you decide to avoid condoms, make sure you clean yourself and/or your toys off immediately after use. Remember, silicone toys will need a mild-soap, and glass/stainless steel toys can be cleaned this way as well. 

Last but definitely not least, remember to wash your hands! 

One thing to note: it’s not uncommon to feel as though you have to use the bathroom after anal play. 
The pressure (even slight, gradual pressure) of anal play may make it feel as though you have to use the bathroom after anal play. Don’t worry, this is totally normal! 

Your guide to anal masturbation toys 

Let’s talk about anal sex toys. When it comes to masturbation, there are tons of different ways you can experiment with anal play, including introducing some fun toys into the mix.

What kind of toys can you use for anal play? 

  • Butt plugs - these are “plugs” that are intended to be anally inserted and remain in place during sex or masturbation. They will have a flared base, and some even come with cute ends (like gems, poms, or tails for those interested in pet play). 
  • Dildos - dildos can be used anally as love as they have a flared base and/or are not at any risk of being stuck inside you (avoid smaller ones with thin bases). These can also be used with a strap-on for pegging fun. Read about pegging here
  • Anal beads - these are “beads” on a string that is anally inserted for play. The more hygienic alternative to these is a beaded silicone toy with a handle. This is the type of toy I personally prefer when it comes to anal play.
  • Anal vibrators - vibrators designed to be inserted anally will most likely come in a “C” kind of shape and look similar to g-spot vibrators.

Now...let’s get into specifics! What are the best anal masturbation toys? 

Lovehoney Classic Silicone Anal Beads
BEGINNER TOY
These smooth silicone anal beads gradually get bigger for easy and pain-free insertion. This specific toy has 10 inches of tapered beads and is perfect for anal play beginners. This is actually one of the anal toys I have and use frequently, and I love it! 

Tip: when you’re close to orgasm, slowly remove them! Such an amazing sensation. 

50 Shades of Grey “Something Forbidden” Butt Plug
BEGINNER TOY
While it’s no secret that I despise the 50 Shades of Grey series, I do think this butt plug looks excellent for beginners, so I’ll include it here. This petite silicone plug is the perfect size if you’re unsure about your venture into anal play, and it has an easy-to-grab loop at the end for easy retrieval. 

12-Function Rechargeable Bendable Vibrating Anal Beads 
ADVANCED TOY
This is about to be my next purchase, I swear. These beads are flexible and also vibrate - what else could you want in a beginner anal toy? Firm enough to stimulate you but flexible enough to keep you comfortable, with 12 different vibration modes that allow you to explore different sensations. 

Adam & Eve Booty Bliss Silicone Vibrating Beads 
ADVANCED TOY
Okay, I lied - this is going to be my next purchase. These look fantastic! These vibrating beads have 7 different speeds and patterns, the graduated beads range from .25” to 1” wide and it’s entirely waterproof. 

Doc Johnson x Wendy Williams Anal Trainer Kit
BEGINNER TOY
This anal training kit is great for beginners, with butt plugs ranging from 4.7omcjes to 6.9 inches. A distinct base on each plug allows you to play safely and it actually has an indentation on the bottom that allows it to suction to any smooth surface. Hello, shower fun! 

Glams Black Silicone Butt Plug Rainbow
ADVANCED TOY
2020 is the year for beautiful crystal butt plugs! This plug (and others like it) have been making their rounds in the BDSM community for how cute and comfortable they are. Made of body-safe silicone, this tapered plug is both practical and adorable. If you like that one, you’ll also like this steel one

DOMINIX Deluxe Stainless Steel Small Faux Silver Fox Butt Plug 
BEGINNER TOY
These fox-tail butt plugs are so adorable, and the sleek, cool stainless steel is a fun addition. The great thing about metal is that it can be warmed or cooled for temperature play fun. This is a good beginner’s plug, as it’s lightweight. 

Lovehoney Rookie 10 Function Vibrating Prostate Massager 
BEGINNER TOY
This prostate massager is perfect for beginners thanks to its smooth, sleek look and feel. Best of all? It vibrates! 10 functions and a tapered tip help with maximum stimulation, and it’s also completely waterproof. 

B-VIBE Rimming Plug 
ADVANCED 
This vibrating butt plug looks like so much fun! 7 rotation and 6 vibrating patterns, this has been voted among the Best New Sex Toys for the year of 2018. It even includes a remote control and allows you up to 1.5 hours of playtime! 

Babeland Loki Wave 
ADVANCED 
This advanced butt play toy is from popular sex toy brand Lelo. It’s perfectly shaped to offer simultaneous perineum and prostate vibration from it’s dual motors. It’s the first vibrator that can stimulate you using the ‘come hither’ motion and it comes with 10 different vibration settings. 

WeVibe Vector 
ADVANCED 
This body-safe, rechargeable, whisper-quiet vibrating butt plug by WeVibe allows for firm but gentle pleasure to stimulate the prostate and perineum. It comes with a remote and is extremely adjustable, making it quite comfortable for all users. 

Lovelife Dare
BEGINNER 
This adorable butt plug is relatively small and has an easy-to-grip handle (that’s in the shape of a heart, how cute) that makes it perfect for anal play beginners. 

Unlock the potential of solo anal orgasms whenever you want

For people with vulvas, internal anal play can also stimulate areas of the vaginal canal and larger clitoral structure (which obviously feels amazing). For prostate-havers, this walnut-sized gland you haven’t given much thought to can be the key to experiencing orgasms like you’ve never felt before. 

And that’s not all - according to Adam Levoy, CEO of prostate health and pleasure brand Giddi, prostate stimulation can actually strengthen penile orgasms by up to 30%. Indulging in anal masturbation can open you up to a whole new world of pleasure that means you wait for no man (or woman) to get you where you deserve to be - Pleasuretown.