Rimming Is For Everyone (And It’s Great!)

The used panty marketplace

We’re going to get into more butt stuff today! Yay butt stuff!

Sit back (or squat, you do you) and let’s talk about tossing some salads.

What is rimming?

Rimming is pleasuring someone’s anus with your mouth. So basically oral anal sex. Sometimes it’s called analingus (like cunnilingus), a rim job, eating ass, or tossing someone’s salad. (No one really knows where the salad thing comes from, but basically everyone on Earth knows what it means anyway.)

A rim job can involve licking, kissing, sucking, or doing anything to the anus that your partner is into.

Is eating ass only for gay men?

Gay men have more anal experience than everyone else. That much is true. However, just because gay men do something doesn’t make it intrinsically gay. If it did, blowjobs, kissing, and watching One Tree Hill would be only for gays.

Everyone has a butt, and it feels good to play around with it! There’s no reason not to try new things sexually. You need to leave that no homo attitude behind.

Of course, no one should do anything sexually that they don’t want to do. Just give it a little thought. Don’t have a knee jerk reaction based on societal expectations.

And don’t be a homophobe. It’s not a good look.

Testimonials from some salad tossing extraordinaires

Don’t believe us that people other than gay men are into eating ass? Here are some first-hand accounts from ladies who are into getting their salads tossed.

“Simply fucking incredible. Better than oral, better than sex…. I felt paralysed, couldn't move a muscle, and just lay there quietly, feeling every stroke of his tongue on my bum. I'm sopping wet afterwards and nothing gets me more relaxed and ready for sex than that. It's like muscles I don't know I had get relaxed and I feel like I'm an overcooked spaghetti. I fucking love it.”

“It kind of had a nice, warm, and wet massage feeling to it. Wasn't too exciting and doesn't feel simulating for me but the fact that my boyfriend loved licking it turned me on so much and made me feel sexy and confident.”

"I've only had my ass eaten by one guy that I was involved with and I had no idea that was even a thing someone would wanna do, but it was fanfuckingtastic."

Have we convinced you? Now it’s time to get your partner on board.

How to talk to a partner about it

Talking to a partner about trying something new sexually can be a little awkward, and unfortunately, this is particularly true if you’re discussing anything butt related. Your partner might have some concerns about it based on their upbringing or hygiene concerns. (We’ll cover hygiene later.)

The best way to talk about it is just to pull the Band-aid off. There’s no reason to try to hint at something that your partner might not get to. Be direct.

You should talk about something new in the bedroom when you’re not actually in the bedroom. It can be very confusing and high-pressure for both parties involved if talking about rimming comes up in the middle of boning.

You can bring it up casually. Just say something like, “Hey, I randomly found this article about rimming. Have you ever tried it?”

Be prepared for any reaction. You might get a very negative reaction, and you can just say, “Okay, no problem. If you ever have any questions about it, just let me know.”

If they have a super positive reaction, you’re in luck! Pass Go and collect $200.

Maybe the most likely scenario is that you get a neutral reaction. This will mean that the two of you will need to work more to unpack whether this is something you’ll want to try and what roles you’ll each be fulfilling. If you’re in a kinky relationship, this is hopefully something you’ve done before.

Just remember that if your partner gives you a hard line no, you need to respect that. Everyone has sex acts and kinks that they’re not into and that turn them off. Don’t try to coerce them into trying it with you. If not rimming is a dealbreaker, you might need to get that from somewhere else, whether that means opening the relationship or breaking up.

If your partner brought it up

Maybe you stumbled upon this article because your partner brought up rimming with you. If they did, here are some helpful tips about how to react.

First, don’t freak out, and don’t act outwardly grossed out. Just because something isn’t your kink doesn’t mean that it’s not your partner’s, and shaming them for being into something is pretty shitty.

It’s okay to ask for time to think about things, especially if you don’t know much about eating ass already. Read how to articles like this one. Maybe watch some porn. See how you feel about it. Your opinions might change.

If you’re into it, tell them! Even if you’re a little nervous, you can try it out soon.

If you decide it’s an absolute no from you, dawg, break the news. Just say that it’s not your thing. They should understand. 

Is it normal if I only want to give, or vice versa?

You’re into what you’re into! If you don’t want to give and only want to receive, that’s totally fine.

If you’re incorporating analingus into a BDSM relationship, it’s normal and expected for the sub to give and the dom to receive. This doesn’t mean your relationship is unbalanced in any way.

If you’re intent on only receiving though, take a moment to ask yourself why. If it’s any of the hangups mentioned above, you might be missing out on an exciting experience!

Is consenting to rimming consenting to anal sex?

Consenting to one sex act is NEVER the same as consenting to another. Just because you’re okay with having your anus licked doesn’t mean you’re okay with a penis or dildo going inside it. In the same way, just because you’re cool with having your pussy licked doesn’t mean you’re down for getting vaginally fisted.

Your partner shouldn’t be trying to slowly talk you into a sex act you don’t want to do. Moving closer and closer to the ass isn’t going to make you want to have anal sex if you don’t want to.

It’s perfectly okay to try rimming and not try anal. It’s a good idea to let your partner know that that’s your plan, though, and let them know whether or not you’re okay with the tip of their tongue going inside you during analingus.

Hygiene

The main thing that freaks people out about analingus is hygiene. All of our butts have a pretty shitty day job. Doesn’t that mean it’s unsafe to lick down there?

People’s butts are actually cleaner than you think. This is because poop is stored higher up in the digestional tract, not right at the end. If your partner cleaned up thoroughly after they last used the bathroom, they should be clean. As an extra precaution, you can use an unscented baby wipe to really wash things down there.

If either of you is really paranoid about poop, taking a shower together has two purposes. First, it should turn you on and loosen you up. Second, you can make sure to clean your ass like, really super good. If your partner is the one that’s worried, you can even have them clean it for you!

Some people do enemas before ass eating. However, this generally isn’t necessary, and can have risks, like perforation and sepsis. It really isn’t necessary to use one in order to get the part of your ass clean that’ll get licked.

One more poop-related worry: what if I do come into contact with some fecal matter? Will I get sick? Will I die?!

Digestive bacteria can be passed through poop. This includes E. coli and Salmonella, which can make you sick. You’d probably have diarrhea or puke for a day or two; neither of these are life-threatening.

Plus, keep in mind that bacteria is everywhere, including on your genitals, in your mouth, on your hands and, yes, on your anus. Just because the germs are on your butthole doesn’t make them intrinsically worse.

Risks

Like basically everything fun, rim jobs come with some risks.

First, rim jobs can transmit some (but not all) STIs. These include:

  • herpes
  • genital warts
  • gonorrhea
  • syphilis
  • hepatitis A and B

This is why it’s best to use a dental dam for rimming, which we’ll discuss in-depth in the next section.

Plus, as mentioned before, there is a chance that you’ll come into contact with some bacteria. You should usually be fine, but there is a small risk. You should also avoid giving analingus to someone who has IBS, a parasite, stomach pains, or diarrhea. 

How to be safe

Like any type of sex, you need to make sure you’re safe during rimming.

You should use a dental dam. Most people’s eyes glaze over when they hear these words, but it’s true! Dental dams will protect you from STIs and bacteria. Plus, if you’re worried about the taste, they’ll take that out of the equation.

You’ll get the same sensation (or at least very close to it) through a dental dam as you would without one. Sure, most people would love to stop using condoms and go bareback, but that doesn’t mean it’s a good idea.

You can buy dental dams online, and many of them are even flavored. Here are some options.

But you don’t have to buy anything special! If you’re a couple that has sex with condoms, you can easily turn one into a dental dam. Cut off the tip and the ridge at the bottom, then cut along the side (from base of the penis up). Unfold it and you have a functioning dental dam! If one side has lube on it, you’ll probably want to put that one against their skin.

You can turn rubber gloves into dental dams, or even just use plastic wrap. There’s no good excuse not to be safe!

While the bacteria from the anus is probably safe to go in your mouth, it’s not safe to go onto someone’s labia or vagina. For this reason, never switch from analingus to cunnilingus unless you’ve been using a dental dam. This bacteria can lead to killer yeast infections.

Other than that, tossing someone’s salad should be completely safe.

Lube

Here’s a tip from us to you: everything’s better with lube, and that includes rimming!

If you don’t want to use a dental dam because your partner is up on their STI checks and you’re a rebel, flavored lube is a great way to liven up the party. This makes the whole experience more pleasurable, and is perfect if someone’s a little apprehensive about what an anus will taste like.

Sliquid lube is the obvious winner here. It’s body safe and comes in several tasty flavors, including strawberry pomegranate, green apple, blue raspberry, and tangerine peach. Some other options are Frutopia Mango, System JO Gelato Salted Caramel, and ID Juicy Lube Luscious Watermelon.

Just remember, flavored lube shouldn’t go anywhere near a vagina! They’re a one way trip to Yeast Infection, USA. For more info about flavored and all other types of lube, check out our dedicated article.

Hair

Here’s another hangup that some people have about rimming: butthole hair.

Anything you want to do with your pubic hair (and by extension, your butthole hair) is super valid. It’s very personal, and no one should ever shame you for having hair down there. Hair naturally grows around our anuses. It actually helps keep your asshole clean, warding off foreign invaders like lint and toilet paper.

If you want to shave or wax your asshole hair, that’s dope. It might help heighten sensations while your partner is tossing your salad. There’s also the chance that it’ll make things a little bit cleaner, since lint or toilet paper won’t be caught in the hair.

There are some cons to shaving though. You can get ingrown hairs or skin irritation, which definitely doesn’t make your butthole scream, “Lick me!” This might mean putting off your rimming experimentation.

If shaving or waxing your asshole hair will make you feel more confident, then go for it! If you’re worried it’ll make you feel exposed and be uncomfortable, just let it be. 

Positions

There are lots of different ways someone can make their ass accessible for rimming. Here are some options.

  1. Have the receiver on their back, and put a pillow underneath their hips. They can also bring their knees to their chest to allow for absolute maximum access (or ass-cess?).
  2. Another way to rim is to do it from behind. Have the receiver with their elbows or knees bent over the bed. The giver can kneel behind them and get to work.
  3. Have the giver lie on their back while the receiver straddles their face. Face sitting is hot, no matter what’s getting licked.
  4. The receiver can sit on the edge of a bed or sofa with the giver on their knees.
  5. Feeling kinky? You can use a spreader bar to keep your partner’s legs (and ass cheeks) apart. 
  6. Another risque option is to buy a sex position enhancer chair. You can use it to achieve basically any rimming position you can imagine. (If you’re interested in buying sex furniture, check out our how to article.)

Remember that not all positions work for all bodies, and that’s okay! We’re confident you can find a perfect way to get your ass eaten.

Techniques

Wondering how to give someone a rim job? The secret is, it’s actually not that hard. There’s not that much surface area to work with, so it’s less about what to do than about how to do it.

Like with most sex, you shouldn’t jump to sticking your tongue inside them right away. You need to build up the anticipation and really excite them. Explore your partner’s body, moving slowly towards your destination. Tease them for as long as you can. Some erogenous zones down there include their thighs, ass cheeks, and even their toes, but kissing and massaging feels good everywhere.

Hopefully after a while, both of you are really turned on. That means you can proceed to reach down and part their cheeks so you can see their anus. Again, you’ll want to tease the area if you can manage it, not going directly for the bullseye. 

Touch or stimulate the area. One great way to do this is with your breath. A hot sensation on the anus can be really sexy. Make sure to alternate this with other sensations.

But eventually, it’s time to get this party started. Like with eating someone out or giving a blowjob, you’ll have to play around until you find out what works for them. But there are some go to tricks that you can start with.

  • Make your tongue soft and lick the entire anus like you would an ice cream cone.
  • Flick your tongue up and down, increasing in speed.
  • Bring it around town! Lick around the anus in circles.
  • Lick in half circles. Lick one half of the anus in a circle, and then the other side. This offers a variety of sensations.
  • Pay attention to other parts of the body, like the taint, balls, or the bottom of the vaginal opening (if you’re using a dental dam). 
  • Alternate between stiffening and relaxing your tongue. Some people prefer a smaller, firmer pressure, while others like the attention spread out.
  • Don’t use your teeth unless they enthusiastically tell you to! It feels weird and can really hurt. (Maybe in a good way, but don’t make that decision for them.)

One last technique is to push your tongue into the anus. Like we discussed before, you should still be safe from germs if you’re doing this technique, especially if you use a dental dam. But if this is a little too much for you, that’s okay. It can feel pretty damn good, though.

Should I be doing something with my hands?

Probably! Although rimming feels great, it’s not super easy to orgasm from that alone. To get things done, you might need to multitask.

During foreplay, playing with your partner’s nipples is an expert move. This gets them in the mood without pushing things along too fast.

Once things have sped up, you might want to stimulate their genitals with your hands or a toy. It’s sort of difficult to get your hands where they need to be when you’re using some analingus positions. This means you’ll either need to use a sex toy or enlist the help of your partner.

A bullet vibe should be fine for someone with a clit. We wrote about the best vibrators for the new decade, so pick some of those up ASAP. If they have a penis, you can play with their balls, while they stroke their own cock.

Hopefully, this extra action will be enough to bring them over the edge.

What if something goes wrong?

Your first time eating ass (or getting your ass eaten) might not go perfectly. There’s always a chance something will go wrong during sex. Like maybe he can’t get hard, or you realize halfway through that she started her period. It’s the same with ass play.

If someone wants to eat your ass but you’re feeling nauseous, bloated, or like you’re going to have a bowel movement, maybe save it for next time. Some other reasons to forget about any anal activities for the night include:

  • Gas
  • Diarrhea
  • Constipation
  • Bleeding
  • Open sores like hemorrhoids
  • Cold sores
  • Digestive infections

If your partner has an accident while you’re playing, try not to freak out. Just stop and let them know, or clean it up if you feel comfortable. Don’t make them feel ashamed or gross. After all, it’s not their fault; they didn’t try to poop on you. (That’s a whole different kink.) Remember that you always knew this was a risk to eating ass, and maybe use a barrier next time.

If you have an accident while someone is tossing your salad, you’ll probably be mortified. That’s completely understandable. However, again, your partner knew that could happen. You’re a human, not a sex doll. It’s normal to apologize, but don’t let them shame you for it.

It’s also possible that one or both parties won’t actually like rimming, once they start doing it. It’s totally normal to try out a sex act and find out later it’s not for you. If you want to stop things partway through, that’s allowed. Just ask your partner to stop or move away.

Don’t feel like you’ve failed as a kinkster just because there’s something you’re not into. Not all of us can be turned on by everything. Hopefully, your partner will support the fact that you need to do what turns you on and makes you feel comfortable.

So that’s rimming! It’s really not too complicated if you’re interested in trying it out. You don’t need to go out and purchase a sex swing or a huge dildo or a box of used panties to get into it.