My husband tried to give me a nipple orgasm for the first time – here’s what happened

The used panty marketplace

Y’all, I think I’m living the dream. Every day, I wake up at my leisure, do my morning mindfulness routine, and head to my computer with a fresh cup of coffee. When my work day begins, I’m not fiddling with spreadsheets or putting on my best work shirt for a Skype meeting. No. What I do is a little different: day after day, I write about sex.

There are few things more illuminating or revolutionary for your personal life than delving into human sexuality and all the delicious things that make us tick. If there’s a better, more universally human thing to spend my time writing about than the diverse facets of our intimacy, I haven’t heard of it. And by far, my favorite writing days are the ones that call for something a little beyond google or PubMed. I live for the articles that require a little field research.

Think of it as a public service, or a labor of love. Hey, if some writer out there has to take it upon themselves to try out new ways to get sexy in the name of a story, it might as well be me. 

My journey with nipple orgasms began all the way back in January, when Sofia Gray published an article I wrote on them. There, I confessed something big, something I’ll confess here again: before starting to write about them, I didn’t even know nipple orgasms were a thing. But as I rifled through the internet for proof of this elusive breed of little death, I learned that our foremothers were getting off like this long ago. Maybe back when they were canoodling on lover’s lane, people were less likely to have casual penetrative sex. But although their lovers’ hands only roved above the waist, they still were determined to get their Big O. 

And maybe I’m a sucker for history, just a horndog, or somewhere in between, but the idea of orgasming without any touching below the belt aroused my interest, to say the least. While my nipples have always been sensitive, I assumed that such an elusive orgasm must only be possible for the most sensitive of us all.

But this study cited in Men’s Health said nearly a third of women in their survey reported having a nipple orgasm. With the odds suddenly in my favor, I couldn’t stop thinking about whether I could have a nipgasm of my own. One in three? I’ll take my chances. 

And so many of the articles I read about this style of pleasure were hypothetical. I couldn’t find a bold writer who’d thrown themselves into the fire to try out their first nipgasm and share it with the world. So, as someone who’s always on the hunt for a story, I jumped into the sack with my husband to try and have my first nipple orgasm. You know, for science.

Setting the stage

If I’m going to tell you how it went, first I have to start with total transparency: I have anxiety. It comes in waves, and although it’s manageable most days, I can’t wholly predict what incident will ignite my nerves in all the wrong ways. And it turns out, the idea of a new breed of orgasm titillated me as much as it frightened me. Even though I was the one who pitched this article, the idea of trying something so new with no guarantees of us having a good time made me nervous. I can’t quite pinpoint why. Maybe it was taking up space in the bedroom when the experiment may not bear any fruit, or just the thought of trying something new and failing at it (I am definitely the kind of person that doesn’t take failure well.). 

Whatever it was, it felt different than the times when I’d written about my experiences blindfolded and role playing during sex. With both of those, I already knew they’d be fun. If they weren’t pleasurable, they’d at least serve up a good laugh. Nipple orgasms offered no such promises. Since so many people in my life didn’t even know nipgasms were possible, what made me think I could experience one so easily?

And if I’m being honest, a small kernel of me was nervous about wasting my husband’s time. He embodies a GGG (good, giving, and game) mentality with his whole body and soul, and he’s down to try just about every new thing that comes across our laps. I knew that, if nothing happened, he’d have a great attitude about it. The problem wasn’t him; it was my anxiety, plain and simple. 

So, I did what any lover should: I told him about my nerves. He took it in stride, managing to validate my feelings without skipping a beat as he cooked us a late lunch. Even just voicing my worries out loud cooled them down. Putting my feelings out on the table reminded me that whatever we got ourselves into would be a memorable time, and that even a total flop would probably end with us having good sex.

Still, I was just a little anxious – and I didn’t suggest a time for us to try it. As it turns out, I didn’t need to.

After a long day of work, I relaxed by making a little music alone, half expecting him to wander in at some point to join me or suggest something to do together. I lost myself in practice, but after a while, I realized my husband had gone completely silent. There was no motion in the house, no music of his own. Not even the bathroom door closing and opening. I’m a little crazy about him, and so I put my instrument away and went to go see what was occupying him so completely.

I found him in the bedroom, reading articles on his phone while lying in bed. The lights were dimmed, incense was burning, and music was playing. I flopped down on the bed beside him when the music caught my attention: it was a song from one of my favorite playlists for feeling sexy.

Not long after I laid down beside him, he asked me if I’d like some chocolate. As soon as the “yes” left my mouth, he disappeared into the kitchen, returning with one perfect rectangle of the dark chocolate we keep stashed in the freezer. The flavor filled my mouth, lingering on my tongue. 

It was like something out of a movie, the kind where a lover is impossibly suave, but next thing I knew, we were kissing on the bed. At this point, I still thought I was just in the heart of a lover’s rendezvous, a moment of passion. Our nipgasm experiment was far from my mind. We kissed languidly, exploring each other’s mouths, and he took his time before peeling my shirt off.

I wish I could write that what happened next unfolded like a romance novel, but I have to be honest: my husband and I are silly people, especially in bed. He was stretched on top of me as we kissed, and when I tugged his shirt off in response, I slipped into the headhole and put his shirt on. For us, silly moments don’t detract from the moment. They enrich it. Levity opens you up, makes you more receptive to pleasure – including new kinds of orgasms. 

A little laughter was just what I needed, because soon after, I was topless beneath my husband again. With nothing but air separating our bare chests, he dipped to kiss me. And that’s when it hit me – he was going to try and give me my first nipple orgasm.

Turning the heat up

Those kisses didn’t stop at the mouth. He kissed my whole body, nibbling and sucking and tracing my body with his lips. His fingertips grazed my sides and ribcage, igniting a trail of goosebumps in their wake. Slowly, with purpose, he worked his way toward my breasts, not focusing on my nipples – not yet. Instead, he devoted his attention on everything above my waist, until it felt like each of my nerve endings were being worshipped individually.

He slowly incorporated new motions, working his way inward, towards the stars of the show. By the time he got there, my nipples were aching and ready for his touch. He began making circles, focusing on my right one, which is unpierced. As the pressure built in my body, I felt it spread across my chest, but the feeling also swelled around my clitoris, even though I still had pants on and he hadn’t so much as brushed against me down south.

Eventually, he alternated between using his tongue and fingertips. His mouth felt so divine thanks to nature’s lube (saliva), which also helped his fingers as they worked magic around my nipples. Every once and awhile he pulled back to blow, letting cool air circulate across such a sensitive space.

After what felt like a lifetime, he eased back and surrendered his attention to my left side, the pierced one, which awakened a new level of sensation. I won’t go so far as to say a pierced nipple is objectively more sensitive; it just feels unique. When used correctly, a nipple ring can be a divine addition to the bedroom. Although a nipple has eight hundred nerve endings to play with, the ones internally are ignited with a piercing when moved with a tongue or confident fingers.

My husband didn’t dive straight for the ring though, not this time. Instead, he ran his fingers over my areola in steady circles. At that point, my eyes were closed, reveling in each sensation. It felt so good that I was sure his tongue was roving circles. When I opened my eyes, I was shocked to see his fingers at work instead. He kept going, the circles continuing until I thought I would burst. My breath came in heavy as the deep pleasure mounted throughout my torso, my nipples, my clitoris, and even the space behind my eyes. 

As that tension within me built, he used his tongue and his fingers, pulling back every so often to rake and kiss along my rib cage, between my chest, and returning back to my breasts. Slowly, the pressure turned into a wave that built within me, a tightness swelling between my legs. My head felt as if it were slowly filling me with water, rising to the top until I burst.

But then, the sensation ebbed for the first time as doubt crept in. Right at the crest of my wave, I thought to myself, am I actually about to orgasm from nipple play alone? I guess the writer in me was dialed into the moment. But that writer brain wasn’t about to ruin this for me, so I focused on each sensation, clearing my head of inner dialogue, and letting go of any concern over whether or not nipple orgasms were “a thing.”

I didn’t have to worry. In the next few moments, I don’t think my writer self could have stopped the wave from breaking even if she’d started taking notes right then and there. The orgasm washed over me: gentle, complete, and shuddering. Light burst behind my closed eyes, and my whole body shook. 

It had happened. I’d had a nipple orgasm. I really had. Looking back on it now, the best comparison is like clitoral orgasm, but softer. And it was a sensation not quite like any other I’ve had. Because Rhody and I have never tried to achieve one of these before, he wasn’t sure at first whether I’d done it, and so he kept going. Unlike clitoral play, I wasn’t too sensitive to continue enjoying myself, so I relished the after ripples of joy as his mouth roved over me. I caught my breath as he kissed me more, and when our eyes locked again, all I could utter was a weak, “Who knew?”

But we weren’t done yet. Rather than wiping me out, that orgasm left me quivering in anticipation, open for whatever else we threw at each other, so I kissed him harder, and we both felt the urgency grow in us as we grinded against each other. He took off the pants I was wearing (confession: they were his anyway), and I took off his undies. Finally, after an orgasm that hadn’t gone below the belt, we found ourselves naked together. 

As for the rest? I’ll leave that up to your imagination. But I will say this: knowing what both of us were capable of, we spent ourselves brimming with a blend of possibility and animal passion.

Reflections on my first nipgasm

I’ll be honest, when my nipgasm happened, I was shocked. All that advice on the internet really panned out. It’s one thing to read about it and study it in theory, and another to see it unfold so readily in action. I knew in theory that about a third of us with nipple sensitivity could achieve one, but I didn’t really believe it would be so simple. As good as it felt, it wasn’t some herculean effort on my husband’s part to make me cum. All things considered, having a nipple orgasm was a breeze. Starting from the moment my husband started lavishing attention on my chest, it took me less than five minutes to peak. Five minutes. Some people take longer than that for a clitoral orgasm.

Closeup sexy topless passionate heterosexual young couple in studio man touching woman's breast play of light and shadow on black background, horizontal picture

It helps that I have the best and most attentive partner in the world – and I’m not just saying that. He’s the dreamboat of the century. Case in point: I didn’t know it until later, but it turns out he had seduced me using every single suggestion I’d written in my article on nipgasms – right down to putting on my favorite sexy song. He set the mood, helped me relax, and sidestepped my anxiety by not scheduling a time for us to play. That way, I couldn’t get anxious as the hour drew close. 

I’d been seduced, pretty handily, using the very techniques I’d outlined. I’ve gotta hand it to him: he nailed it, right down to the nice lighting. The chocolate, though? That was his own special touch.

Out of all the ways he touched me, I was delighted to realize how much I loved areola stimulation. In the past, I’ve relegated all the attention to my nips alone, but if one thing brought me to orgasm more quickly than the other sensations, it was when he rubbed circles around my areola over and over in patient circles.

I wasn’t the only one aroused, either. My husband was surprised by how hard my nipples were, and how strongly my body reacted to his touch. It was also thrilling to play in a brand new way. We’ve been sleeping together for a decade, so introducing a whole new kind of orgasm was highly erotic. It showed. By the time I came, his body was drawn tight in anticipation and desire, even though I hadn’t touched him beyond flickering my hands around his body in the throes of my orgasm. Even though a nipple orgasm may sound like something that only one party benefits from, give it a try – your partner might find themselves nearly as aroused as you are.

A nipgasm broadened my horizons

It’s no secret that I sometimes have pain during penetration – and since surgical menopause, I still have a hard time getting wet. Although the nipgasm still didn’t help much with the latter, when we followed it up with penetrative sex, I felt primed and ready. Normally, I need to warm up a little before it feels good, but instead, penetration felt divine from the moment it began. 

That revelation got me thinking more broadly about my sex life. Any partner I’ve had in the past few years will vouch for me when I say that G-spot stimulation isn’t really a thing for me. I used to love it, but all my surgeries made aggressive prodding intolerable. Oral is great, and penetration (once I’m warmed up) is grand thanks to the elusive A-spot orgasm, but pressing sensations inside me understandably have freaked me out. My husband almost never fingers me, and I generally have to explain my feelings about it to any new partner. 

But after inviting an experimental new orgasm into my life, I’ve been wondering: what would it feel like to approach my G-spot the same way?

My husband was so patient and wickedly horny while doling out this new sensation for me. Who’s to say we couldn’t both benefit from experimenting together again? Only this time, we can reintroduce an old friend we haven’t visited in about three years.

Pointers for next time

This experiment couldn’t have gone better; if I were giving it a Yelp review, it would earn full stars. It makes me excited to see how it goes next time. Specifically, I’m fired up just imagining incorporating coconut oil into the mix, rubbing it all over my breasts before focusing on my nipples.

Also, shamelessly pansexual person that I am, this experiment has made me very curious about what it would be like to be on the giving end of a nipgasm. My husband’s nips aren’t sensitive by any measure. Next time we’re with a lover, I’ll have to take pointers from him on how to give them this new level of pleasure.

If I can do it, so can you!

Nipgasms may seem tricky or hard to come by, but I’ll repeat it again for the folks in the back: it took me less than five minutes to achieve a totally new kind of orgasm. While nipgasms won’t necessarily be as shattering as a strong clitoral one, if you want to feel something pleasurable that breaks from your usual routine and doesn’t call for penetration (or if you’re just game to see what your body is capable of), then give it a whirl. Solo or partnered, these ‘gasms are well within your reach. .

While writing about nipple orgasms back in January, I’d been intrigued, but I hadn’t truly believed it could happen to me. Being proven wrong never felt so good.