If you’ve read any of the articles I’ve written here on Sofia Gray, you may (or may not) have noticed a recurring little tidbit that I can’t help but sneak into posts here and there: I find the French language incredibly sexy.
I know what you’re thinking: that’s pretty typical.
I mean, the French language has been dubbed the sexiest language many times before. It’s a common fantasy...romantic walks along the Seine and picturesque nights sitting by the Eiffel Tower, hearing someone whisper sweet French nothings in our ears.
What intrigues me about the idea of being sexually aroused by languages is just how specific those fantasies can get and how these fantasies translate to what we like in sex.
Why do British or Australian accents make panties drop around the world?
Why do I find the French-Canadian accent to be one of the sexiest things I’ve ever heard?
Why do people associate the Italian language with beauty or Slavic-sounding languages with strength?
The idea that people find certain languages to be “romantic” or “passionate” or “sexy” isn’t a new concept, but considering that these languages are used to communicate (most of the time) in non-sexual ways, I can’t help but wonder...why do we find different languages sexy?
Before we answer that question - let’s just get one thing out of the way, right now: being aroused by different languages (or one certain language in particular) is an actual fetish!
Well, it’s fetish-adjacent.
What I mean by that is that there really are fetishes out there that explain people’s insatiable hunger for languages they don’t understand.
Auralism is defined as sexual arousal or excitement that’s caused by sound (similarly to how voyeurism is sexual arousal caused by sight).
This can be anything: music, the sounds of sex itself or (you guessed it) languages! As with most other kinks and fetishes we’ve explored here on Sofia Gray - it’s a spectrum...you may just be simply turned on by what you hear, or you may actually need it in order to feel sexual gratification.
Acousticophilia is pretty similar to auralism - it’s defined as being sexually aroused by any type of auditory stimulus (including things like panting, moaning, heavy breathing) - you know, ASMR stuff.
Along with that, acousticophilia can also be when someone is turned on by speaking in a particular language or tone of speech. So, this could be used to describe someone like me (who has an insatiable lust for languages), but it can also be used to describe someone who listens to audio porn because they get off on ASMR.
The Language Kink
Although there aren’t many “real” findings on this kink, one quick Google made feel right at home amongst the various Reddit threads and message boards that talk about being turned on by a certain language.
I hereby proclaim the Language Kink as being real and here to stay!
Now - back to my original question: why DO people find languages and accents sexy?
Attraction to foreign languages definitely has a lot less to do with what people are saying (after all, if the language is foreign, you likely can’t understand much of it) and more to do with how we hear and perceive it.
When it comes to being aroused by languages, there are a few common reasons why this could be something that gets you in the mood...
Accents are incredibly sexy, we all know this.
But do you know why you find certain accents more attractive than others? What do you think the sexiest accent is - and do you think lots of other people agree with you?
Let’s take a look at a few surveys that studied what accents people like the most and why.
According to Big Seven Travel, who released a list of the Top 50 Sexiest Accents in 2019, the top ten are:
Does this list surprise you? Did you expect New Zealand to be number one?
How about the fact that the British accent didn’t even crack the top 10? For me, that one was most surprising.
Well, take a look at another list of sexiest accents, released by popular language learning Platform Babbel back in 2017:
While there are some similarities, there are also some pretty big differences here, too. For example, number one on Big Seven Travel’s list (the New Zealand accent) doesn’t even crack the top 10 over on Babbel...and number one on Babbel (French) gets bumped down to number 7 on Big Travel Seven’s list.
Why is there this much difference in preference of accent? Well - it can come down to a few different things: location and social standing seem to both play key roles in deciding what accents we find sexiest.
How our location affects what languages/accents we like…
For example, people from the UK may find Latin languages sexy because they sound exotic, or people from America may find Irish accents sexy because they sound cultured.
Where you live (and what languages you’re used to hearing) will affect how you feel about other languages. Along with that, how your culture perceives the culture of the language being spoken can play a factor, too.
Social standing (or the idea of one’s social standing) can also affect what we like…
Perhaps a bit of an uglier side to the psychology of why we find different accents or languages from different places sexual is the stereotype or idea of that culture in our minds.
Vineeta Chand, a Linguist from the University of Essex explains it like this: the evaluation of the speaker, not what’s being spoken, often plays a part in finding the accent or language sexy.
Now, obviously, if you’re being spoken to in Italian by some hunky, dark hair, brown-eyed Italian waiter on your vacation, you’re obviously going to feel some tingles about that. But that’s not exactly what I’m talking about when I say the evaluation of the speaker is what plays on our minds.
According to Chand, most of the studies done on the attractiveness of languages and accents almost always tie back into our social evaluation (or image) of the community that speaks that language as a whole.
A perfect example of this is the stereotype of Latina women being fiery and passionate and loud. This is nothing more than a stereotype about Latina women, but it’s why some men find Latina women (and the languages they speak) attractive, anyways. Men picture this hot little Latina with a fire in her belly and sparks on her tongue, and they put that idea onto the Latina women they fantasize about.
We tend to associate people who are bi-lingual with being intelligent, and we also tend to find certain languages to sound more intelligent than others.
Emily Nguyen, a Ph.D. candidate researching linguistics at New York University, explains that there is this perception of British people being intelligent or “upper class” and that because of this, we often associate people with heavy British accents with being smarter.
This logic applies to many other cultural expectations of certain accents or languages as well. For example, we tend to associate the French language with romance. This makes perfect sense, considering Paris is known as the city of love, and as such, people who speak French are often regarded as romantic, passionate and seductive.
Along with sounding the part, it makes total sense why we’d be attracted to people who know more than one language: they are curious. They are wise (for having mastered a foreign language). They are adventurous (for wanting to try new things). These are very sexy qualities to most people.
Ladies...the idea of traveling across Europe, meeting some hunky Italian whose accent when he tries to speak English is so hot that you can’t help but get it on with him in the hostel laundry room. This happened to a friend of mine and I was practically oozing jealousy as they spilled every dirty detail over pizza and wine a week later.
How about the idea of frolicking around on a beach in Sydney and (literally) bumping into a sexy Australian surfer who tells you to have a “good’ay” in a way that makes your bikini bottoms practically fall off right then and there? (This is how I picture meeting Chris Hemsworth, by the way.)
Gentleman - we know you love a sexy accent too...how does it sound to be on vacay in the Bahamas and find yourself hooking up with the woman from the front desk at your hotel because you just can’t get enough of the way she says your name.
I mean...who doesn’t want any (or all) of those things to happen to them!?
The truth is pretty simple on this one: we find foreigners (and the idea of doing very dirty things to them) exceptionally sexy.
I can’t be the only one who fantasizes about moving to Greece and living out of a suitcase in some ramshackle hotel, bedding cute tourists...right?
While that may or may not be (definitely is) the plot of one of my favorite musicals, it sounds great, right? If you’ve ever pictured yourself living free in Bali or surfing the Gold Coast in Australia, there may be a part of you that’s drawn to people with these accents because you’ve built up a fantasy in your mind.
Even though this is a lifestyle fantasy and there’s nothing inherently sexual about your desire to live abroad, our mind begins to associate anything with that place you’re dreaming of living (including the accent or language) with feeling good.
With “Japanese” being the top searched term in 2019 according to PornHub’s latest Year in Review Stats, I think it’s safe to say we’re attracted to other cultures as much as we are attracted to other languages.
Whether it’s the way they look, the way they dress (or undress) or the way they sound - there really is no denying that for many people, what part of the world the porn actors are from really makes a difference.
According to this map, which outlines the most popularly searched terms on PornHub within the United States (taken from the year in review post linked above), the word “German” was searching commonly in Virginia and Rhode Island, “Japanese” was commonly searched for in California and people in Texas were busy getting off to “Latina” searches.
Jumping back a few years to PornHub’s 2017 stats, you can see a bit of a pattern there, too: “Asian” was one of the top 3 most commonly searched terms in Australia. Meanwhile searches for “Korean” or “French” porn skyrocketed by 44% and 27% respectively when compared to 2016 stats.
If you’re a native speaker of one of these lusted-after languages, or if you’re someone who speaks with a thick Australian, British or French accent - porn would love you! You never know...maybe 2020 is the year you branch off into amateur porn!
Actually, better yet is to go into audio porn...because some of the sexiest audio tracks on popular audio erotica platform Quinn are from people with accents - like this one.
(Beware, if you click that link, your panties might somehow just fall off. You’ve been warned.)
When you really think about it, the idea of someone being attracted to the sound of your voice is super flattering, right? I mean, someone, somewhere finds the way you exist (the way you talk, your accent, your language) so erotic that they are typing it into porn search bars.
“I have no idea what you just said but please keep talking like that…” is basically the battle cry (or bedroom moan, I guess) of any foreign hook up ever had.
For some reason, there is something completely erotic about having no idea what your lover just whispered into your ear. Maybe it’s an embarrassment thing...they could be telling you your armpits smell like a dumpster and you’d be begging them not to stop. Or maybe it’s the curiosity of hearing someone speak a language you find intoxicating to listen to.
Whatever it is - I want more of it, and clearly I am not alone.
Similarly to how we begin to create “love maps” as children to determine how we show and receive love based on what we are taught and how we perceive the environment around us (you can read more about love maps here) - I believe we can also experience imprints made on our “desire maps” too.
The way we experience things, and in turn, how we feel about those experiences (including emotions like love or lust, as examples) is shaped by many different factors, and one of those is environmental.
Sometimes we can’t tell for certain why we like what we like...and other times, you can pinpoint exactly when (and where) this fetish became “a thing” for you based on an experience you had, something you saw, something you felt, etc.
It was the first week of college when I met my neighbor from two doors down...I can practically smell the cigarette smoke that was embedded into his leather jacket and the tequila on my own breath as he pulled me in closer...did I mention he was French-Canadian?
Yep...that’s right - my very first “wild college experience” was hooking up with a French-speaking cutie with a thick accent, a leather jacket and two bottles of tequila. This was also the first time I’d ever experimented with breath play, and to say it left an imprint is a vast understatement.
While there isn’t always one specific reason why you like something, it makes total sense that when we experience something sexual and fun for the first time, it can leave an imprint that affects how we experience sex for years to cum (okay, that’s a bad pun - but I just couldn’t resist).
The lesson of the day: anything (and everything) can be a kink, and you’re definitely not the only person in the world to feel the way you feel about your fetishes.
My lust for languages is something I’ve kept a bit hidden (both in relationships and online) because I was a bit unsure of how to share it. It’s not like I’m into something that’s illegal or borders on “too far” - it’s just something that I thought was so niche, so un-relatable, that I didn’t really know how to explain it.
Somehow, when I was single, “speak French and my panties will be off in a matter of seconds” seemed like a strange thing to put in my dating profile - but now when I think of it...why not!?
Whatever you’re into, just own it! If you put it out there, maybe you’ll get to experience something crazy hot that you never would have been able to experience if you didn’t say what you want. You’re not alone - and even if you are, so what? This is your sexual happiness we’re talking about here...who cares what people think, as long as you get off.