Have you ever wanted to be completely at the mercy of your partner? Maybe even do some things you never expected in the bedroom? Erotic hypnosis might be right up your alley.
Erotic hypnosis is sort of the new kid on the block when it comes to kink, but it’s grown to be very popular. There are a bunch of erotic hypnokink groups that meet IRL across the U.S., and several hypnosis conventions held every year. Plus, over 18,000 kinksters list themselves as interested in or into “erotic hypnosis” on Fetlife, and over 17,000 list themselves as into “hyponsis.”
But what does it mean to be into hypnosis, anyways? How do you make it sexy? And will your dom have to use that pattern with the swirling rings to get you to go under?
There are a few ways to think of erotic hypnosis. It is a way to use hypnosis to bring out your sexual desires. It’s kind of a guided meditation that lets you relax and release your inhibitions. It can be a way for a person to come without anyone touching their genitals.
Perhaps the simplest definition is “a manipulation of an altered state of consciousness for a desired purpose.”
First, it’s a manipulation. The top or hypnotizer in a scene is manipulating the physical, mental, or emotional state of the bottom. This can manifest by convincing them to feel certain physical sensations or make them feel less insecure about their body.
Then, there’s the altered state of consciousness. This is the hypnotism bit. A person is put into a trance. Practitioners are adamant that everyone experiences this trance during their everyday lives, so it’s not as extreme as some might think.
Have you ever gotten to your house and realized you don’t really remember driving there? Or gotten to the end of a page of a book only to realize you didn’t comprehend a word of it? These are examples of the trance state that you enter in erotic hypnotism.
Lastly, both the dom and sub have a desired purpose for the exercise. Hopefully in most cases, these are the same or at least similar. For example, the top wants to teach the bottom to orgasm on command, while the bottom wants to please the top and feel pleasure. These are compatible, and are great ways for erotic hypnosis to work.
You might have some misconceptions about how hypnotism works. There’s a lot of media about it, and basically none of it is true.
So what’s the difference between hypnokink and other types of hypnosis?
First, there’s hypnotherapy, the kind that medical professionals use. This practice began in the late 18th century and became popular thanks to Franz Mesmer. His name is the reason people sometimes say a person has been “mesmerized.”
Freud was super enthusiastic about hypnotherapy, too. He used it to try to remind people of repressed memories.
Now, hypnotherapy is used to help people with addictions, chronic pain, phobias, and even irritable bowel syndrome. It can help people create new habits or help someone perform better in sports. It’s very beneficial to a lot of people, and there’s nothing scary about it.
But what you probably think of when it comes to hypnotism is stage hypnosis. This is the type that’s used to make people think they’re an elephant or that their nose is falling off. There are still stage hypnotists that parents hire for birthday parties and bat mitzvahs as entertainment.
Some people have the misconception that hypnosis is evil because it’s been used as a plot device in a lot of media. Dracula was one of the first hypnotists, as he mesmerized his victims before turning them into a snack. In the 1960s and 70s, shows like Batman, Scooby Doo, and Gilligan’s Island featured hypnosis as mind control, and the hypnotists were the villains.
Superhero narratives feature lots of non consensual hypnosis. DC and Marvel have created villains like Poison Ivy, The Ring Master, and Emma Frost who have the power of mind control. Some of them are even sexual; Poison Ivy seduces men, then enslaves them.
Hypnosis isn’t just a silly party trick. It isn’t evil. What it does have is the capacity to spice up your relationship and take things to a whole new level.
Erotic hypnosis can do many different things for the people who practice it. Each experience is different, but hypnosis can change up your sex life in many ways.
Hypnokink intrinsically involves a power imbalance. One person is in an altered state of consciousness, and the other person is using this to make suggestions about what they should do. Submitting to be hypnotized shows a lot of trust in your dom.
Some say that in this altered state, the submissive can feel the dom’s will rushing through their body like a physical source. For people into BDSM, that must sound tantalizing.
Erotic hypnosis can enhance lots of other kinks. Doms can make their subs feel like they’re being whipped without actually touching them. It’s possible to restrain a sub once they come out of their trance just by saying a single word after hypnosis. If your sub has an impossible kink like a size fetish, you can allow them to feel like they’re tiny or like you’re a giant. The possibilities for BDSM practitioners are endless.
Sometimes, it can be difficult for a person to let go and fully submit to their partner. This can be because of past trauma, insecurity with their body, or just nervousness. Hypnosis can let these feelings fall away and let them be their true self. Once you know you don’t need these emotions anymore and you’ve experienced a time without them, it might be easier to let them go and submit in a new way in the future.
Roleplay is a perfect way to spice up a relationship, but the whole time you’re playing, you’re very aware that you’re not actually the person or animal that you’re pretending to be. If you really want to get into roleplay, erotic hypnosis can convince you that you actually are a puppy or Archie from Riverdale. Most roleplayers dream of this, and it can be possible with erotic hypnosis.
One of the coolest ways to use erotic hypnosis is to create triggers for your sub. This is a bit advanced, but the payoff is amazing.
While they’re under, you could say, “When I touch your elbow, you’ll feel indescribable pleasure.” When you bring them out of a trance, you should be able to turn them on without even touching an erogenous zone. If you’re into humiliation kink, you could have them do something embarrassing when you say a certain word. The sky’s the limit.
It can be difficult for your sub to retain these triggers too long after a session. If you want to keep them, you need to use them regularly, preferably every one to two days.
If you have your sub learn a trigger like, “Take your clothes off when I wink at you,” you might want to make sure that you’ve deactivated this trigger before the end of the hypnosis session.
There are several ways to experience erotic hypnosis. Of course, you can try it out with a partner who’s learned how to put someone under. But if you’re single or you want to try something new, there are options.
It’s actually possible to do erotic hypnosis solo using the power of the internet. There are many YouTubers who are willing to hypnotize you for sexual pleasure. (Or they’ll at least try to, anyway.) Most videos tell you that you can use them to experience a hands-free orgasm. This is a pretty bold claim, but it might work for you. Here are some examples of erotic hypnosis videos.
Sometimes it’s best to put yourself into the hands of the professionals. There are certified hypnotists who will do erotic hypnosis for you. In New York City, Neil the Erotic Hypnotist works with many clients to help them have a sexual experience. He might touch your shoulder, but there won’t be any action down there. Getting off is up to you.
You can also find experts who are willing to conduct a session online via video chat. This should work better for you than videos, since it’s personalized to you, and it’s especially valuable if you don’t have any erotic hypnotists in your area. People like Lady Jessica, Kemila, and Mistress Carol all offer this service, if you’re curious.
If you asked 10 people what an orgasm felt like, you’d probably get 10 different answers. So by the same token, the feeling of erotic hypnosis can vary a ton from person to person.
“The early stages of sleep or that floaty part at the end of a yoga session.”
“I drift in and out of listening to my doctor, sometimes hearing every syllable out of her mouth, really trying to focus on myself, on my sexual state of mind, to channel her encouragement…. Other times, Doc might as well have been speaking Mandarin, as I’m caught in my own head, questioning why we’re on Earth and trying to remember who killed Laura Palmer in Twin Peaks.”
“I'm conscious of Neil talking and giving me orders, but I can't focus on them. Instead I'm thinking of playing pool, old record players, Chuck Bass from Gossip Girl (Seriously? Gossip Girl?), and a hotel out of the Prohibition era. It's a random collage of images that seemingly have nothing to do with each other. It's like a dream, except there isn't even the faintest hint of narrative or logic.”
Some people describe that they’re very aware of what is going on during a hypnosis session, but many people don’t feel like they know everything that’s going on. Often, hypnosis is likened to meditation, a massage, or just feeling relaxed.
Then the article writers described the erotic parts of the hyponsis as:
“Any insecurities I have about sex were gone—no self-conscious thoughts about my body, no worry about if I could “perform” or not; of course I could, because I wasn’t even thinking about it.”
“It's like my dick split open and released a million rays of sunshine all over my body.”
That’s a pretty good endorsement! Some people are to come during an erotic hypnosis session. Others can’t. It’s totally normal for it to take some time to develop this skill. Keep trying, because if you can manage it, apparently it feels pretty fucking good.
If it seems like erotic hypnosis poses some consent issues, you’re totally right. It can be dangerous for the sub, and needs to be practiced with caution.
Before you and your partner try out erotic hypnosis, you need to have a conversation to negotiate the scene. You and your partner might have different limits in this context than you would during a normal session. Discuss what parts of the body the dom can touch and what triggers can be given.
If you’re particularly worried about consent issues, you can word your triggers in a less demanding way. Rather than, “You submit to me,” you can try, “What if you submitted to me completely?”
The hypnotist can reinforce their partner’s ability to consent through their words while they are in a trance. You could say, “You are able to come out of the trance when you want to” or “You can communicate clearly while you’re hypnotized.”
Being in a hypnotized state is incredibly vulnerable. Make sure you’re ready for it. Unlike other sex acts, you may not be able to let your dom know that you need to stop. It might be easier to determine a safe hand gesture between the two of you before you start. It’s sometimes easier to move your arms while you’re hypnotized than speak. If you’re the hypnotist, watch for signs that your sub might not be okay. If they’re crying, twitching, or seem uncomfortable in any way, end the session.
Like all other BDSM and kink play, never do erotic hypnosis while you’re drunk or under the influence of drugs. This can impact the depth of the trance and make it more difficult for a sub to be responsive if they want to end the scene. Boundaries can get hazy, which is the last thing you want.
Then, during aftercare, you should ask your bottom how they felt about their experience and whether it could be better. If they didn’t feel comfortable or couldn’t respond when they wanted to, don’t try it again.
Now let’s get mesmerizin’!
Before you can hypnotize someone, you’ll have to learn how. One way to do this is to prepare sort of a DIY approach. To try it out, watch some of the erotic hypnosis videos on YouTube. (You can find suggestions listed above.)
You can watch them with your partner to find out what the two of you like. Even if you’re not able to orgasm from these videos, find out what makes both of you horny. It’s best if you can involve your partner in this process, but if not, just find videos that seem like they’re of good quality.
Now, study the videos. You’ll probably have to watch them a bunch of times. Pay attention to what they’re saying, but also the tone of their voice. Note what parts are the most effective.
Instead, you can bypass this step by watching some hypnosis tutorials online. Not all of them are for erotic hypnosis specifically, but they should still work. There’s this one hour crash course or this whole YouTube channel on how to hypnotize. You can even take this free five day course. Just make sure what you use is legit and doesn’t set off any red flags.
Once you’ve done your research, you’ll need to practice your sexiest hypnotist voice. You can do this in the shower, in your car, or in bed with your partner. Ask them what they want you to sound like. You’ll need to practice so you can take the whole thing seriously. Doing a new voice can be funny at first.
Next, write a script. You may think that you’ll be able to do everything on the fly, but hypnotizing someone is a lot of pressure, and you need to keep your voice consistent to keep them under a trance. Figure out what you want them to do to you and what trigger words you want to program in their mind. As you get more practiced, you might be able to do it off the cuff, but for now, have a plan.
Then, it’s time to have a session! You’ll want to make sure that you block out at least two hours to play, and try to make sure that everyone is in the right headspace. If you haven’t had a conversation about your boundaries yet, you need to do it now. It’s important that you don’t abuse your power over your sub.
Don’t be afraid to take your sub out of their trance to ask them questions and try out your triggers. They can easily be put back in. Also watch your bottom for any signs that they’re not comfortable, and bring them out of the trance immediately if they are.
If at first you don’t succeed, don’t feel discouraged. Your partner can probably give you some pointers and let you know what’s best for them. It can take a while to learn new tricks.
Before you’re hypnotized, you need to understand how it works. Knowing all of the details is so important for consent. Here’s the rundown.
Each session has a general framework. This allows your dom to control the session and make the hypnosis work as well as possible. It’s important that all of these steps are completed during a hypnokink session.
Talk to your partner before they put you under. Let them know if there’s anything you don’t want them to do. Make sure you trust them. Your negotiation should happen every time you try this, even if you’ve played using this kink before. Maybe there are specific things you want to try out this time, or maybe there are things you’re too tired for. Make sure your top respects your boundaries.
Induction is the process of creating the trance. This is when you’ll go under and enter that headspace. Your dom might use different techniques to get you there, including visualization, breathing exercises, and looking at a specific spot. Your dom wants to quiet your mind so that they can access your subconscious. (Get it, subconscious?)
Once your partner knows that you’re in a trance, they will work to make it deeper. They will also bring it in the direction they want. They will probably use the methods above, but with more urgency.
This is when stuff starts to get really interesting. Your top will guide your thoughts and feelings with their words. They’ll say things like, “When you hear my voice, you’ll feel pleasure” or “when I touch my nose, you’ll undress.” This lets them guide you into what they want. If you talked about boundaries beforehand, this should be what you want, too.
Once the triggers are in place, your dominant will use them to turn both of you on. They can humiliate you, take your nervousness away, or get you to orgasm. This is the most erotic part of the experience. During this time, you might go in and out of the trance state as your hypnotist sees fit.
Once you’re done playing, your dom needs to wipe any triggers that they implanted that they don’t want to keep. You may want to leave some of them active, but they shouldn’t put you at risk in any way.
Like any kinky practice, the correct aftercare is important. Don’t skip this step. Get some hot cocoa, take a nap, or cuddle until you feel ready to face the outside world.
Getting hypnotized is a vulnerable experience, but it’s not too difficult. You get to sit back, relax, and let your partner’s words take you away.
Erotic hypnosis is an exciting new kink, right up there with electro-stimulation and used panties. It’s not expensive like many other BDSM practices, which is nice. It can build trust with your partner and let you see a new side of each other. It makes the sub feel vulnerable and the dom feel more in control than ever before.
Just remember to say safe as you build your dominance and submission. A little talking before the scene can go a long way.