We’re partway through the first year of a new decade, and if you haven’t gotten the memo, I’m here to fill you in: butts are where it’s at. Twerking, pegging, anal orgasms, and more, this is the year (or decade) of the booty.
That’s probably because everyone has a butt. No matter your chromosomes or body type, you’ve got a butt worth loving on – and they’re not just for that smackin’ or to fill out your new jeans. No matter your sexual orientation or experience with penetration, the fact of the matter is that we are all capable of divine pleasure down there.Madonna was wrong when she said coronavirus is the great equalizer: booties are. Regardless of if you have a prostate or not, you deserve to love on that butt tonight. And the best way to start is with a little butt plug action.
I’ve said once and I’ll say it again: the best thing about butt plugs is that they’re perfect for every single kind of body. That’s because, despite our anatomical differences and special quirks, we all have an abundance of nerves surrounding the opening of our anus, leaving us open for a special kind of thrill.
Explore the area yourself by running a finger lightly along the outside and drawing a circle. Add lube to the mix and relish the slick sensation – you’ll quickly see what I mean. What makes a plug so exciting isn’t just the feeling of it entering you (although that’s divine, too). Wearing a butt plug gives you a sense of fullness that’s hard to articulate, but feels oh, so good. For people with vaginas, that sensation is heightened when paired with penetration, because it awakens increased sensitivity against your walls and doubles that yummy full feeling.
If you’re giving penetration during sex, your movement may elicit more sensations than the fullness alone, adding another layer of flavor to the mix. For the person not wearing a plug, the sight of it in their partner can be a rush in and of itself. Seeing something so explicit and naughty is a thrill – so much so, that you can even offer that extra detail in your profile if you’re selling panties. The knowledge will make buyers tingle with delight.
Penetrators get their own special pleasure from wearing a plug. Their thrusting motions elicit other sensations, adding a whole other layer of flavor to the mix. And if you’re lucky enough to have a prostate, the magic of butt plugs has only just begun...
A place so wonderful for folks with penises that it’s compared to the G-spot? Sign us all up. The prostate, also known as the P-spot, is an often untapped pleasure center for people everywhere. Everyone assigned male at birth has a prostate, and if you’re not playing with it, you may just be missing out.
Your prostate isn’t that far inside your body – only about two inches in, on the side closest to your belly. You’ll know it when you feel it; many people compare it to a walnut. When you find the gland, pushing towards in it in a come-hither motion is supposed to rock your world. People with prostates report it feeling a lot like a penile orgasm, only more intense. The feeling is supposed to ripple throughout your body.
As someone who doesn’t have a prostate, the more I read about it, the more jelly I get. To have this thrilling experience, start with a small, yet perfectly-shaped butt plug that is curved for prostate pleasure. Since the prostate isn’t that deep inside you, you don’t have to get one that’s shockingly large. Once you’ve gotten more comfortable with your prostate’s magical sensation, get wild: combine stimulation, vibration and a cockring in one scintillating package.
Whether you’re brand spankin’ new to the world of butt stuff or have been going at it for two decades, foreplay is essential. Not only does it make sex so much better, it also helps you relax your muscles and acccept that bigger, badder toy.
To get yourself all loosened up and ready for a new plug, start slow. Foreplay is a must to set any mood – but that doesn’t mean your foreplay should center on the butt. If you’re partnered, quality foreplay might look like steamy makeouts, or running your fingernails along your lover’s body. Gradually work your way down south, and be a generous lover when you get there, offering ample oral.
Lick, suck, and nibble your way to their brink. When they’re breathless with pleasure, use a heavily lubed finger (or your tongue) to start investigating their backdoor. Let your partner’s shock and awe ripple through their body as you touch them there for the first time, and let the pleasure build, slowly, without taking it any further. Make sure you’re still all lubed up as you tantalize them, and keep pleasuring their more familiar erogenous zones at the same time. When you and your partner feel ready, slowly ease the plug in.
Foreplay is vital because if you’re not ready, you’re tense. Your muscles all over will be tight, and butt stuff will go from good to bad in a flash. Give your partner (or yourself) ample time to relax, unwind, and get comfortable with all the ways they’re being touched. That way, you’ll both be eager to revisit the butt plug again and again.
Every time you play with a booty, from pinkies all the way to oversized dildos, get ready to go heavy on the lube. Especially when you’re new to the scene, lube is the star of the bedroom. It helps toys slip inside you with ease, and the slick sensation is a big part of the pleasure
But it’s not only sexy; it’s also a major safety precaution. Without lube, you can injure yourself. Unlike the vagina, the butt is not self-lubricating. Dry skin touching an even drier toy can cause uncomfortable friction, even tearing the skin inside and at your anal opening. Ouch. Skip that step, and instead of having pain turn you off from ever exploring anal stimulation again, lube it up.
Again, go slow. All you have is time, so explore safely and find out what works best for you.
Butt stuff is fun – but it’s a marathon, not a one mile fun run. Like all delicious things worth having, getting into the world of butt stuff won’t just unfold for you overnight. You need to build up for it, like the Arnold Schwarzeneggar of your booty. Training is an investment that pays some major rewards. If you’ve never put anything in your butt before, get a plug that looks almost too small. Think the size of your pinky.
See what it’s like to masturbate or have sex with your partner however you usually go at it best, but with a small butt plug inserted. Let the sensation become one you’re comfortable with before sizing up.
You may, over time, be ready for a dildo or penis, but it could take a long time. And as you progress in your booty journey, you may find that you’re not really interested in major penetration – and that’s totally fine. As a culture, we’re pretty obsessed with there being an ultimate end goal. It’s the norm to try and go as far, hard, or intense as possible. Don’t approach your butt like that if it doesn’t sound appealing. Instead, shift your focus to exploring the edges and boundaries of what sensations feel best for you.
Personally, as a big butt stuff advocate, I don’t actually like anal sex all the time. I’m more of a once-a-year kinda person, and it’s mostly the novelty of the sensation that draws me back to it. Butt things like rimming, plugs, and medium-sized toys, though? That’s my jam though. Instead of pushing myself to enjoy the biggest or most intense experiences, I’ve experimented with my sweet tush enough to know what I like – and you should do the same.
The best way to go about it is by starting small. If your goal is to size up, then consider investing in an anal training kit. My top pick for all sex toy online shopping is Spectrum Boutique, a shame-free zone run by a person with a special place in her heart for buns. Shop there to invest in a training kit from B-Vibe. This trio of butt plugs is a dream come true, with different sizes and sensations for each step in your exploratory journey. The smallest toy in the pack is about the size of a finger. When you’re ready to size up to the middle plug, you’ll be rewarded with some sweet vibrations. Once you get all the way to the largest plug in the kit (which is almost five inches of insertable fun), you’ll notice the vibrating feature has been swapped out for something new. This big boy features two weighted balls within instead, giving you a delicious feeling of fullness as you play.
Not quite ready for the full kit plunge? Start small, like this plug that’s perfect for beginners.
If you’re new to the world of sex toys and butt stuff, you may be worried about losing things up there. After all, we’ve all heard the (untrue) rumor about Richard Gere and the hamster, right? If you’re using a butt plug, you don’t need to worry about anything getting stuck in your back door. Butt plugs are designed with a narrow neck and flared base, making it nearly impossible to get lost in there. They’re so secure that you can even wear one to spice up your errands, make your hot dinner date even hotter, or dance the night away with a little extra something.
Still concerned? Opt for a toy with a wider base, like the beginner’s plug I linked above.
Did you know that sex toys are sold as a “novelty item,” and are unregulated by the government? Until recently, neither did I. But once I learned, it suddenly all made sense. There’s no government agency watching out for you to make sure a toy is body safe – which explains why sex writer Sophie Saint Thomas once had a toy leak pink dye all over her dresser drawer. I don’t know about you, but oozing chemical goo is kind of the last thing I want in my body.
When you pick out a new butt plug, keep in mind that this thing is going inside you. A cheap plug made of questionable materials may leach chemicals or contain known hormone disruptors like phthalates.
Do your homework as you toy shop and find something made of materials that serve your pleasure and your health. A good rule of thumb? Skip anything jelly textured. They may seem fun and brightly colored (and yes, glittery), but most contain all those nasty chemicals that you’d be wise to skip.
Skipping jelly-like butt toys doesn’t mean the end of the world – in fact, it only opens you up to new and better materials for your body. Butt plugs can be made of all kinds of things, but there are three main materials to shop for when choosing the right butt plug: silicone, glass, and metal. All offer their own perks – so which one’s right for you?
The most common butt plug material, silicone is wonderful. If it’s safe enough to bake with, it’s probably safe enough inside our bodies. This nonporous material has long been used in the medical world, and all studies point to it being perfectly safe when used at room or body temperature. Slick, smooth, and yielding, silicone is ideally suited for newcomers and butthole aficionados alike.
Unlike other butt plugs you may buy, you have to be careful what kind of lube you use with a silicone toy. Silicone and oil don’t mix well, and you can shorten your toy’s life if you whip out the jar of coconut oil when a butt plug’s in the mix. Play it safe with silicone or water-based lubes instead.
If you’re still wary of putting something artificial in your butt, you’re not alone. Many people don’t want to mess around with what’s going in their bodies, and they want to spring for the best. That’s why stainless steel is an excellent option. These toys are durable, beautiful, and built with your pleasure in mind. Many stainless steel plugs create an extra sense of fullness, and the cool metal is ripe for scintillating temperature play – stick it somewhere cold or soak it in warm water for an added sensation in the bedroom.
While stainless steel feels great, it doesn’t come with any of the fun extras that a silicone toy offers like vibration. And since it’s far less yielding than silicone, it may not be the best choice for absolute beginners.
There’s nothing like a little sensation play, and glass butt plugs are one option you don’t want to pass up. Thanks to its incredibly smooth texture, many people cite glass as their favorite toy material. Like stainless steel, it can be warmed or cooled for some intense temperature play to put a whole new spin on butt plug lovin’.
And although glass sounds fragile, in reality, plugs are made of sturdy tempered glass that won’t break. The necks of glass plugs also tend to be a little thicker, adding an extra measure of safety. Enjoy the smooth sensation of glass gliding inside you, and feel free to use any kind of lube you’d like – with glass, it’s all on limits.
Although glass butt plugs are generally shatter proof and very secure, those stems connecting the insertable end to the flared base can feel precarious. If you’re nervous about a toy going in, then it doesn’t matter how safe it is: you may struggle to loosen up enough to enjoy yourself regardless.
And like stainless steel, glass is not exactly yielding to your body, making it a less than ideal option if you’re new to the anal game or very sensitive
The fun may begin with different materials, but it doesn’t end there. Many butt plugs offer a variety of motions designed to take your pleasure to the next level. Partnered, solo, or long distance, plugs these days offer a little something for every kinky lover out there.
The most popular out of all the delightful additions to your pleasure game, vibration is unforgettable when paired with anal play. Vibration sensations can range from high and thrummy to deep rumbles in your body.
When you shop for a toy, look for one that offers a range of patterns and levels, so you can experiment with what you like best, and have a toy that grows with you as your own sexuality evolves.
While vibrations feel good for everyone, if you have a prostate, you may be even more interested in a toy with targeted vibrations built for your body. Look for a classic curved vibe, or find one that gyrates in special ways, like this massager featuring a come-hither motion for perfect prostate stimulation. Don’t believe me? Check the toy’s reviews and come back. I’ll wait.
The newest craze in sex play puts the power in your partner’s hands, no matter where you both are in the world. Since butt plugs are so secure in your body (thanks, booty!), butt plugs are perfect for discreet public play. With just a few taps on a phone, your partner can suddenly pleasure you while you’re out in the street, out to dinner, or at a bar. With remote or app-controlled toys, quality is key. Sometimes, that means making a proper investment. Lelo, We-Vibe, and Lovense are three companies who deliver on the remote control front.
For a feeling that’s got nothing to do with batteries, cords, or vibrators, go analogue with a toy that rumbles in response to your movements. This kind of toy offers intense fullness and pleasure that’s in tune with your every rock and sway. Some butt plugs feature loose balls inside them, giving a rattling sensation as you’re pounded or pounding away.
My personal recommendation? B Balls Duo from Fun Factory. With two separate balls in individual chambers, intuitive rumbles answer your every thrust. And since there’s no mechanical or electric component, this plug is fully submersible and water safe, making cleanup a breeze.
Try it out while grinding against your partner, having penetrative sex, dancing, or even just walking with your dirty little secret in tow.
All good sex practices take work – and your toys deserve the best. Preserve the longevity of your sex toys by making sure you are cleaning them thoroughly each and every time. If your toy doesn’t have electronics involved, give an extra deep clean by boiling your toy after scrubbing it down, to kill any lingering bacteria. While playing with a butt plug is typically a much tidier affair than most butt newbies seem to think, it is up to you to do your due diligence and make sure your toys stay squeaky clean.
Before using your toy, make sure you read carefully! Not all toys are submersible, meaning you need to take extra care while cleaning it. That way, your vibrating butt plug will last for years to come.
Butt stuff is a little miracle just waiting to be tapped – so get on it. Take your time – there’s no rush to become an anal champ overnight, and you don’t ever have to go beyond a plug if you don’t want to. The best thing about booty lovin’ is this: just like everything in our sexuality, we have the rest of our sweet lives to enjoy it. So go at your own pace, and enjoy each ripple of pleasure as you go.
Everyone’s got a butt worth loving, so how can you honor yours today?