Imagine, for just a second, that the only thing that gets you hot under the collar is to be swallowed whole. Your heart starts racing as you imagine a giant, gaping mouth - opening wider and wider as you slide along the tongue, and down into the throat to be consumed in a state of utter ecstasy.
Or, imagine that the only way you could feel real, true sexual gratification, was to be four inches tall. You’d love nothing more than to be absolutely tiny, so small that you could be picked up and put on the mantlepiece by your enormous partner, so tiny that you could be carried around like a little doll. Imagine if that turned you on more than anything else in the world - but you knew that there would be no way to ever experience such a thing.
Disappointing, isn’t it?
Well, this is actually the reality that some people live with. Impossible fetishes are a real phenomenon, and they sound totally frustrating!
An impossible fetish is exactly what it sounds like. It’s a fetish (as in, it is an unusually strong liking or need for a particular object, fantasy or activity, as a way of getting sexual pleasure), but it’s regarding or involving something that’s impossible.
So, for example, if you have a foot fetish - this means that you’re likely sexually aroused by feet. But what if you had a tentacle fetish? What if you were only aroused by humans with tentacles for limbs or tentacles for genitals?
Or, if tentacles seem like they’re rooted too firmly in reality, what if your particular fetish involved being consumed up the anus of a giant purple dragon? No, I’m not joking!
This would be classed as an impossible fetish, because this is something that literally cannot exist in our reality. It’s impossible.
It has to be noted that the entire field of ‘sexology’ is actually quite young (as far as the study of human behaviors goes) so the answer as to whether or not you can eradicate a fetish has not really been answered. However, there is a general agreement among sexual psychology professionals that, just like with sexual orientation, eradicating a sexual fetish is not only impossible but can actually be unethical. Particularly where fetish is in no way causing the individual, or any other individual any kind of emotional or physical harm - it seems that trying to eradicate it would not only be pointless, but also distressing.
It also raises questions about whether or not a fetish is ever an illness that actually needs to be ‘treated’ anyway. While the general consensus is that fetishes are just another facet of human behavior - not every expert agrees. An article in psychology today actually highlighted how one unnamed clinician actually put forward a case for fetish eradication, saying:
“I don't see a fetish as similar to sexual orientation—it is something that does reflect "something wrong", and in my own experience, DOES respond to therapy!”
While this is just one clinician's opinion, it does seem a little extreme. Put it this way, the only way to even think about getting rid of fetish, or going some way towards eradicating fetish would be via aversion therapy. You only have to look at some of the sketchy business to do with conversion therapy to see how unethical this kind of procedure can actually be.
So the bottom line is, if you have a fetish – as long as it isn't hurting anyone – there's no point in resisting. Just go with the flow. In fact, having an impossible fetish may actually be grounds for leaving well enough alone. The fact that you have a fetish that is by definition impossible, means they can't inflict pain, suffering or any other unfavorable results on yourself or anyone around you.
It's not like you're suddenly going to shrink down to 4 inches tall and start hiding in ladies’ purses, now is it?
The problem with fetishes, in general, is that people do not often readily admit to having one. And the stranger the fetish, the less likely people are to admit to it.
This therefore means that any data on the popularity and prevalence of a particular fetish might not be an accurate representation. Of course, other data can be taken into account - such as things like internet searches, porn searches, and other types of purchases pertaining to a particular fetish (like the rise in ‘tentacle porn erotica’ on Amazon kindle for example.
With titles such as “Shadowy Tentacle Passion” and “Sex With Tentacles And Humans” gracing the kindle bestsellers list (at least, in the self-published, supernatural erotica section), it’s clear that there is demand for the sexual exploration of these types of topics.
It might come as a surprise, but there are actually a fair amount of impossible fetishes out there. A fetish can be pretty much anything at all, and it does not have to be bound by the normal laws of physics. Plus, there is some overlap between different types (or categorizations) of fetish. Spectrophilia, for example (an attraction to ghosts, demons, spectral beings etc), could be looked at as a sub-set of teratophilia (an attraction toward monsters).
These blurred lines only serve to highlight how diverse our kinks really are!
So what are some of the most common types of impossible fetishes? Well, while there are plenty of unique fetishes and as stated, we don't know which ones are actually common based on peoples’ own admissions - some of the more widely recognized ones are as follows;
Although this is sometimes, rather worryingly, referred to as ‘tentacle rape’, it does actually fall under the umbrella of impossible fetishes - because it involves the paranormal. Tentacle pornography is most commonly found in Japan and is often a mix of traditional pornography with a mixture of fantasy and horror, usually with a science fiction theme. It is found in some horror or hen tie titles, usually with tentacled creatures having sexual intercourse predominantly with women.
While this particular fetish seems to have a science-fiction element to it, it can actually be traced back hundreds of years. Take a look at the infamous design by Hokusai titled ‘The Dream of the Fisherman's Wife’ which was created in 1814. It depicts a woman having sex with two octopi, one provides oral sex, while the other wraps its tentacles around her body and into her mouth.
A more modern take on this type of erotic depiction can be found in the ever-kinky world of Anime. There have been numerous tentacle erotica films since the 1980s, with titles like La Blue Girl and Demon Beast Resurrection becoming common sights in large video stores in the USA as well as in Japan and Europe. While this type of erotic animation experienced a boom in the 90s, it has slowed somewhat in recent years.
But, the mere fact that tentacle erotica is a genre in and of itself shows that, while impossible, it’s still extremely popular.
When it comes to impossible fetishes, vore (or vorarephilia) is pretty darned impossible!
Vore is actually a fetish that is characterized by the erotic desire to be consumed by or sometimes to personally consume another person or creature. Not to be confused with cannibalism, Vore fantasies usually involve the victim being swallowed whole by a giant mouth (which may or may not be attached to a giant person). They may occasionally be chewed up and digested- but swallowed whole seems to be the staple.
Vore fantasies obviously can't be acted out in reality, so they're often expressed in stories and drawings on the Internet. But even still, the desire to be eaten is reported to be one of the rarest of all sexual fetishes. In fact, when a man presented to Toronto psychiatric hospital in 2012 expressing an extreme desire to be eaten by a large dominant woman, and naturally requiring some help for this compulsion – doctors were baffled!
This is one of those fetishes that sometimes strays beyond being regarded as a kink, and more like being a mental illness. The Toronto man in question actually ended up being the subject of an interesting scientific paper on the topic of Vorarephilia!
Macrophilia is a fetish involving giants. It's typically male fantasy with the male playing the smaller part and the female being expressed as a giantess. Interestingly, parts of this fetish often involve men entering, being dominated by, or being eaten by a much larger woman - as was the case with the Vore patient in Toronto.
While it's obvious that this fetish is something that cannot actually be experienced in reality, it is possible for macrophiles to at least play out elements of the fantasy in real life.
Back in 2010, the ‘Amazon Women of South Florida’ made international headlines. This was a group of South Florida women who banded together to cater to the desires of men to feel small. The Miami New Times reported that the Amazons ranged from 6 feet to 6 feet 9 inches. They held private sessions for up to $500 an hour, where men would pay them to help them enact their fantasies of being tiny.
Usually, clients would request the same things, such as asking the women to perform an overhead press with them, like a barbell, carry them around like a baby or wrestle with them for complete domination. This may go some way towards satisfying the fetish, but a six-foot woman is still just a very tall woman, not a giantess. However, the way that this aids with the fantasy of the fetish surely goes some way toward actualizing it.
Just when you thought that the concept of vore couldn’t get any weirder - the internet steps up and says ‘hold my beer’
Enter ‘anal vore’ - vorarephilia’s more bizarre cousin. The clue is pretty much in the name with this one; anal vore involves one being consuming another, via the anus. So, a typical piece of anal vore pornography would be a depiction of one animal swallowing up another - through it’s anus. It’s hard to imagine anal vore existing without the internet.
This impossible fetish has a thriving online community of fans and fanatics who create, post and share content such as art and illustrations depicting anal vore. The fetish has birthed its own internet jargon - with the ‘consumers’ coming to be known as ‘predators’ and the others as ‘prey’. And it also seems like one of those fetishes that is meant to stay firmly within the realms of fantasy and not reality - no matter how many urban myths about hamsters and gerbils you may have heard.
You only need to do a quick Google search (if you dare) to see that much of the anal vore material out there has a distinctly ‘cartoonish’ feel to it. Images of My Little Pony and Sonic The Hedgehog characters ingesting other cartoon characters seem to be a popular staple - and the sexually explicit nature of these images gives the whole thing a humorously disturbing feel.
Anal vore looks to be an impossible fetish that does not take itself too seriously.
To put it incredibly basically, exophilia is a sexual and emotional attraction toward aliens. It can be described as an attraction to strange, extraterrestrial, robotic or even supernatural lifeforms – but the general overarching theme is that it is a sexual desire toward beings that are not of this planet.
Aside from actually being abducted or having an extraterrestrial encounter on earth, it does seem pretty impossible to satisfy this fetish. Of course, you may think that costume and role-play would go some way towards satisfying this particular fetish, but it goes deeper. In a recent interview with Vice, self-confessed exophiliac described how 'indirect expressions' go some way toward helping her to realize her sexual fantasies, saying that;
"Exophiliacs will have an abnormal obsession with science fiction films, even the alien characters in the films. A sexual attraction to NASA astronauts and even alien experts and UFOlogists. Roleplay and cosplay are a huge part of this."
In our article about the rise of digisexuality, we spoke about how the advancement of technology is shaping the way we experience sex and sexual pleasure; and how the evolution of technology will always be used to aid with sexual gratification. This is just how we are as human beings - if the technology is there, we'll use it to get off.
That's just how we roll.
So, it stands to reason that yes - technology can absolutely help to quell the heat of an impossible fetish. We see three main avenues that may be explored in the near future:
It’s no secret that the sex dolls of today are a far cry from the blow-up monstrosities of yore. You've probably already heard all about Harmony, the world’s most commercially successful 'realdoll'. In fact, the term 'real doll' has come to refer to this new generation of sex dolls, who strive for hyper-realism in every aspect - from heated skin to self-lubricating vaginas.
What you may not know is that there is a subsection of these particular sexual aids. While it's pretty niche, you can actually get specialist sex dolls, ranging from fully poseable pregnant elves to blue avatar warriors and even busty vampires. Starting at around $2000 they aren't exactly cheap - but the customization options, coupled with the focus on artistry and realism mean that they could go some way toward satisfying that unscratchable itch.
Will tentacle limbs and removable tentacle phalluses be optional extras in the future? Who knows!
Affordable and easy - it’s actually quite baffling as to why this method of fetish exploration doesn’t get praised or recommended more often. In our digital age, it’s easy to come across niche erotic stories about all sorts of weird and wonderful things, but in today’s gig-economy, you could even go one step further.
Online platforms like Fiverr offer people a way to connect with writers who will be more than happy to create custom erotica stories for money. So if your fetish is a very specific one - you could take your own ‘very specific’ brief to a freelance writer, and ask them to create a story including all of your particular kinks. And if you shop around a little, you can actually hire ghostwriters without it costing you an arm and a leg.
VR porn (or 'virtual reality porn') is already being touted as the future of masturbation. It is a type of pornography that is viewable via a virtual reality headset. You look through the VR headset and view the pornographic scene as if you were right in the center of that sexual encounter. It's an immersive experience in which you can alter your point of focus by moving your head, just like playing VR game.
So, in theory, you could be looking down at a girl’s feet, and then look up to see her breasts. The level of immersion (and the field of view) of course depends on the porn you are viewing, and how it was created.
To create 'true' VR porn, the porn actor wears motion capture dots (like they do when acting out CGI action scenes in big-budget movies). More than 100 cameras film from all angles, making sure that all the movements are captured, and thus creating a three-dimensional scene in which the consumer can be placed by wearing a VR headset.
This technology is already in existence - so it stands to reason that it could be used to create fantastical pornographic (or otherwise immersive) that could not exist in our reality - kind of like a porno cartoon. Could macrophiliacs indulge in a world where they are tiny - looking up at a 40-foot giantess? Could vorarephiles experience themselves sliding down a giant's throat? Only time will tell.
While these fetishes are impossible, it is important to remember that fetishes in and of themselves are not harmful. In fact, a fetish might even make you healthier sexually. The most recent research has found that couples engage in activities that fetish role-play or bondage communicate better, so just because your fetish is a little bit odd does not mean you can't exploit within the realms of fantasy and role-play.
Just because we can’t quite experience something as being ‘real’, does not mean that we can't experience it in some other way. This is the beauty of fantasy. It allows you to fulfill your sexual desires, without actually doing anything to fulfill them in reality at all.
Pornography, technology and a vivid imagination may well be all you need to get by. Jackie Castro, a licensed sex therapist and author of the book Fetish and You, says that "Most of our fetish takes place in the brain, so, first of all, you have to accept that you can't have sex with an alien, but you can imagine it."
This means that there is always the opportunity to explore some facet of a fetish without even doing anything. As long as you have a minds-eye, you can see whatever you choose to see, experience whatever you choose to experience (to a certain extent).
To anyone with an impossible fetish, these words are likely somewhat comforting. And Castro also says that "Fetishes are like snowflakes." So when you consider the level of diversity and specificity in just the impossible fetishes we've touched upon in this article - you'll likely realize that every person will have to explore their own kink in a different way. No two fetishes are the same, and the way that we experience them will be uniquely different for every individual. While having an impossible fetish is not easy - it isn't actually impossible to deal with.
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