Hey there, penis-havers - if I told you that I was going to slap, tie up or not-so-gently squeeze your balls, you’d likely peel away from me as fast as you could while a giant, fearful shiver streaked down your spine.
Except for you CBT kinksters out there...you would likely ask when the fun can begin.
Now, as a psychology minor in college, CBT used to hold a whole different meaning for me. It used to be “cognitive behavioral therapy”...and now, well - it’s all about cock and balls. (As is most everything else in my sex blogger life right now...not that I’m complaining.)
Put into the simplest terms, CBT refers to the sexual practice of inflicting pain or discomfort on a man’s, well, cock and balls - but for pleasure.
While you may be wondering how on earth something like that could be pleasurable - let me ask you: do you like to have your hair pulled or back clawed at during sex? Or maybe you’re into choking or spanking. All of these things are the same as CBT - a perfect mix of pain and pleasure.
Well, perfect for some people.
Is CBT less about pain and more about psychological games?
Sexologist Carol Queen explains to Cosmo: “CBT covers all kinds of kinky sensation and restraint play done on a penis and testicles. For some, it’s the direct physical pain that turns them on, for others, the act of being humiliated is what’s hot about this kind of play.”
Queen also adds: “Just because it’s called ‘torture’ doesn’t mean it has to be legitimately playful. It’s called ‘torture’ to make it sound dramatic and scary, much like calling play spaces ‘dungeons’ in the BDSM world.”
Something you should know...
While we’re on the topic of psychology and kink - CBT doesn’t have to be extreme. Most of the time, when people think of cock and ball torture games, they think about the most pain they could experience to a part of themselves that was really only intended to be treated nicely.
But...CBT doesn’t have to be this intense experience. It can be whatever you want it to be, from mild-discomfort that puts you on edge to “OMG what is she doing, is she trying to kill me?” pain. You can decide how far you want this to go!
Now, there are so many people who still don’t understand the appeal of CBT, so I”m going to give you six reasons why it’s erotic, fun, and pleasurable (for both parties).
Yes, even the man with the dominatrix grinding his testicles under her stiletto is having fun...I mean, I would argue that he’s maybe having the most fun.
In fact, back in 2017, the FetLife CBT group had over 16k members. When you consider that the group for impact play (a super popular kink), at the same time, had just over 55k members, it really puts into perspective just how popular this seemingly unpopular kink really is.
Finding new sensations
Achieving bigger and better sex is all about finding new sensations - what works for you obviously doesn’t work for Hank, your mailman.
Experimenting with pain in an area of the body (your manhood) where you normally exclusively feel pleasure can be an interesting new sensation to add to your sexual experiences.
A mix of pain and pleasure
Speaking of pain and pleasure - a mix of pain and pleasure is often what makes sex so good. As I’ve said, there are so many other ways we incorporate pain into our sex lives that are less judged than CBT play - spanking, choking, slapping...squeezing the balls until he says the safeword...all of these things can heighten your sexual experience.
It’s a dynamic and mind-blowing experience
As with most things BDSM, there is a psychological component here. Being under someone’s rule, letting them have complete “control” over you, allowing them (and trusting them) to inflict the right amount of pain on a super-sensitive area of your body is the ultimate thrill.
The surge of adrenaline
And again, as with most BDSM activities, there will be an incredible rush of adrenaline, which can amp up every other sensation you’re feeling when you participate in something like this.
Allowing the adrenaline to course through you as you experience something new, erotic, fun, and a bit scary can add so much tension into your sexual games.
The wave of relief
There is no surge of relief quite like being “let go” of a submissive role. Whether it’s being choked during sex and feeling your partner release their grip or having your lover squeeze your balls and then release - your whole body just kind of “lets go” at that moment, and it’s a truly relaxing and surreal experience if you can let yourself feel it.
Trying something new and testing your limits
You don’t know your limits until you almost meet them, you don’t know what you like until you try it and rule it out (or keep it on the table) - in the BDSM world, testing your limits is how you find your balance. Of course, be sure not to push yourself too far (and adhere to the safety guidelines of any BDSM practice) - but feel free to think outside the box!
There are a number of different methods and techniques you can use during cock and ball torture play, and obviously, when dealing with a man’s sensitive bits, safety is of the utmost importance.
I will launch into my “safety protocols talk” at the end of this article, but for now, let’s dive into all the different ways you can torture a man’s cock and balls, if he’s into that sort of thing.
Slapping
The most effective form of slapping would be side to side, which allows for a gentle “tug’ sensation as the balls are being slapped each direction. The testicles will “bounce” within the sack when they are slapped, so you really don’t need to use much force for this one to cause a bit of pain.
Squeezing
One of the most common forms of CBT play includes squeezing the testicles in your hands as if squeezing a rubber ball. This can be done as firmly or as gently as needed, of course, taking into account not to squeeze so hard it causes permanent damage (more on that in the “safety” section below).
A tip: by pulling down the testicles before squeezing them, they rest at the bottom of the sack and can be squeezed easier. Start with a very gentle squeeze and work your way up to a firmer grip until your partner reaches their threshold.
Hot Wax
Dripping wax onto the penis or testicles (from a safe distance, of course) can be another form of CBT play that incorporates another kink we’ve talked about before - wax play. If you’re interested in learning more about wax play, check out this Sofia Gray Show podcast episode with Girl on the Net!
Pinching and Clamps
The skin around the testicles is also pretty sensitive, so you can have some fun with that, too. Pinching them between your fingers or using a tool (such as a nipple clamp) - but be careful not to apply too much pressure, as this area is not only sensitive but can also be prone to cuts or punctures.
Binding
Binding is fairly popular and can be accomplished in a few ways - the most common of which is using a rope to “pull-down” the testicles and bind them together. This causes some stretching and discomfort (depending on how tight your binds are) and also looks really sexy.
Flogging or Whipping
When we talk about flogging or whipping in CBT, it most commonly refers to the shaft of the penis instead of the testicles, and this can be done when the man is hard or soft.
If the penis is erect the blood vessels there are enlarged (this is how erections work, after all) - so it’s important to be careful during this practice, as a ruptured blood vessel can take a long time to heal and complicate further sexual activity.
Parachuting
Parachuting is when a small collar encases the scrotum and is attached to weights that “drag him down” during sex. This is enjoyed because it’s a constant sensation while you’re doing other things, so the feeling is there but you’re still enjoying typical sex.
Ball stretching
Again, ball stretching is very much what it sounds like - the act of stretching the testicles for sexual release and erotic purposes. While this may seem a bit strange, there are actually quite a few reasons people do this: if you’re into CBT, it’s very arousing, for one.
Some other reasons include prolonged sexual experiences, more intense orgasms, and the simple fact that larger/longer balls look more visually appealing to some people.
Cock caging
CBT caging is essentially chastity play mixed with cock and ball torture - you can enclose a chastity cage around the man’s penis to cause discomfort to him if he becomes erect. The keys to the cage are kept out of reach by a dominant partner.
What’s BDSM without toys, right? From cock cages to electro-shock toys, there are all kinds of things you can use in your CBT play.
Cock cages:
Cock cages can be used for chastity play or cock and ball torture, or a fun mixture of both.
Ball stretchers:
As I said, these stretchers aren’t just used to cause pain, there are actually quite a few reasons people might try ball stretching, including the fact that low hanging balls can actually improve sex.
E-stim toys:
Using a violet wand or e-stim toy on your partner’s manhood can provide an electric stimulation sensation that is both pleasurable and painful all at once (in the best kinds of ways).
Okay - let me preface this entire section by saying this: a man’s balls quite literally can burst (and not in a good way), so please be careful.
The most important thing is to listen closely to your partner’s threshold limits and just use common sense. While CBT is about inflicting pain, any BDSM play is, first and foremost, about trust, communication, and safety.
Ruptures can happen.
Testicles are particularly sensitive to ruptures if they are bound, tied, or restricted in some way - so if you’re using any kinds of ties or restraints such as a cage, rope, etc - you need to be extra cautious when dealing with this area.
Remember the penis and balls are delicate and even “torture” needs to be quite gentle.
In this game, it doesn’t take a lot. A little is often enough. While impact play is fair game when it comes to CBT fun, don’t ever strike the penis or balls with a hard object (like a cane or the edge of a firm paddle) as it can cause some serious damage.
Along those lines, testicles can be pulled on, but not yanked, and squeezed slowly, not hard and fast. CBT requires a gentle hand that knows how to be firm enough but not too firm.
Safewords or gestures are a must.
Communicating your limits, while super important, can be a bit tricky in the heat of the moment - so using safewords or gestures to let your partner know without a doubt where your limits are is never a bad idea.
New to safewords? Are you still looking for that perfect communication lingo between you and your lover? Check out my Ultimate Guide to Safe Words article (that includes some pretty funny examples).
CBT fun is most often about quick, not prolonged “torture” play.
Don’t leave clamps, weights, or anything that binds (or puts strain) on the testicles in place for too long.
When you start to notice a bit of redness, it’s time to take a break. We want to cause some discomfort that’s pleasurable, not send our bottom to the hospital in a very strange emergency care scenario.
Ensure you have the proper tools to free your submissive before you begin.
Having a pair of scissors closeby to cut your man free of his tape or bindings if you can’t undo them quick enough is essential to any type of restriction play, let alone play that involves restricting one of the most delicate parts of the male body.
Consult your doctor first, even if that feels weird.
While bringing up CBT with your physician doesn’t sound like a super fun conversation - if you’re going to do this, don’t be ashamed of it for fear of being judged. How does the old saying go: better safe than sorry?
And when “sorry”, in this case, refers to maybe permanently damaging or disfiguring your testicles, it’s always a good idea to ask your doctor how to do this safely and what precautions you should take.
Consult BDSM specialists or consider approaching dominatrix/sex educator about your CBT ideas before you begin.
Getting advice from Dr. Google and Sofia Gray is a great starting point, but getting from here to there, where you can successfully and safely incorporate CBT into your sex life can be tough.
Approach someone who has knowledge and experience in this area, whether it be someone you met online who has done this for a while, a professional dominatrix, or a sex educator - there are always people who know the ins and outs of the kink you want to try.
It can be more about the psychological impact and less about physical impact.
The fun thing about BDSM related kinks and fetishes is that it’s very much a psychological game as well. You’re teasing the mind, pleasuring it with taboo and kinky sex acts - so maybe the actual act (especially when slapping, pinching, squeezing his balls) doesn’t have to be as impactful as a spank or something more “vanilla”.
The goal here is to arouse the body and mind while maintaining the utmost safety and trust between partners, and sometimes the best way to do that is with a more gentle approach.
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