10 Reasons You Should Start Watching Porn (From a Woman Who Never Used To)

I never used to watch porn. I was that wife that scolded her husband when I’d catch him doing it. Now I look back at that woman and barely recognize that person. I wonder about how she felt: was it jealousy, fear maybe? And if so, what was I so afraid of?

Maybe it’s because sex writing became my job or maybe it’s because I’ve become more secure in my marriage and myself - but porn doesn’t feel threatening anymore. The opposite, really...I watch it, he watches it, sometimes we watch it together.

I didn’t start watching porn until my mid-late 20s. Prior to that, I’d obviously seen porn (in the digital age I’m sure everyone has), but it wasn’t something I searched out, wasn’t something I liked to talk with my partner about and definitely wasn’t something I was supportive of him watching.

But when I started to get into it (and I mean I really got into it), I realized just how much porn could offer. 

Not just entertainment, not just good masturbation fantasies, but watching porn has boosted my libido, it’s helped me challenge some of my insecurities and ultimately I think it’s made me a much better lover. Not to mention the “fights” we’ve avoided over finding each other’s porn stashes. 

So...here are 10 major reasons you should watch porn (and frequently), from a woman who never used to. 

10. It’s Actually Kind of Fascinating 

I opened my laptop to check the weather and then all of a sudden it’s 2 hours later and I have 17 incognito tabs open. 

Seriously, porn is fascinating. 

You get stuck in this kind of wormhole of eroticism and it just keeps going. 

You might learn something new. 
During your ventures into the naughty corners of the internet, you’re bound to come across something that piques your interest...a sex position that looks fun, a new blowjob technique you want your wife to try or even just a kink you find interesting, even if you have no interest in practicing it. 

You might see something you’ve been thinking about trying. 
The best thing, though, about watching porn, is that it can be something of a “how-to” guide when it comes to new kinks you are interested in trying. Watching someone else spank their lover with a paddle or tie up their partner in a complicated bondage technique...that’s just a sexy instruction manual begging to be tried. 

9. Then You Start to Get Into It 

Porn has a way of reeling you in. You came to search for “squirting” videos and all of a sudden you’re on page 7 of the site and watching hotwife videos. It can be intoxicating. 

You find your favorite sites and stars.
Finding what sites you prefer becomes easy - you start to realize PornHub is great for gangbang scenarios and XHamster is great for JOI videos. 

Not only that, but when you find something you like, it’s easy to follow - mostly because of the stars. If there is an amateur porn couple that catches your eye, chances are they have an entire channel full of videos that you will enjoy. 

This translates to it becoming much easier to get off because you know what you’re looking for. 
All of this familiarity means that it becomes easier to navigate and you can find what you are in the mood for with just a few simple clicks. 

You may even start to dabble in it yourself. 
Getting started in porn (whether you sell homemade porn videos or become a cam-worker) is a lot easier when you’re familiar with the industry. You get to know the best sites, you start to communicate with others via comment sections and forums and who knows - maybe you develop a channel of your own that others want to follow. 

8. You Discover What You Like (And I Mean Really Like)

When I say “discover what you like”, I mean you don’t just find out things that you enjoy watching. 

No...you discover how you want to be touched, how you want to be kissed, how you want to be fucked. You begin to fantasize about incorporating those things into your own sex life. 

Learning new sex positions. 
New sex positions can be a bit...daunting. I mean, how does she get her leg that high!? 

Well, porn is a great way to introduce yourself to new positions that allows you to actually see how they are used instead of just reading about it in a blog. 

Being introduced to new ways to spice up your favorite kinks. 
Say you have a particular kink...you’re scrolling, searching, getting into your favorite kind of mood when all of a sudden you see your preferred kink being used in a way that you’d never thought of before. 

All of a sudden your mind has been opened to an entirely new world that revolves specifically around something you fantasize about constantly. 

Maybe you’re introduced to something you never thought would appeal to you but it totally does. 
The first time I saw fire-play in porn, I was immediately drawn in. This isn’t something I think I’ll ever try myself, but it’s so mesmerizing to me and the appeal of it is intoxicating. 

Watching a woman writhe in blissful shock when the trail of fire paper was lit - it’s just something I never thought would be appealing but totally is. 

7. And You Also Find Out What’s a Hard “No” For You 

Exploring the world of porn, you’re very likely to come across things you love, things that turn you on, things you want to try...but you’re also going to come across things you will never be interested in, things that actually turn you off. 

Figuring out what you don’t like might be just as important as figuring out what you like - or cruising for porn is a great way to create some hard and soft boundaries for things you’re into. 

You know the lingo. 
Part of realizing what lines you want to draw in your sex life is learning the lingo of sex. 

DDLG (daddy/daughter/little girl) D/S (dom/sub), switch (could be a dom or sub)...all of these are BDSM terms that will be helpful to know when you’re trying to find a lover who is interested in the same things as you are. 

Communicating those boundaries with partners becomes easier. 
After you’ve learned the lingo, it’s easy to describe what you’re into (and not into) to potential partners. For example, your dating profiles can say things like “not into DDLG” or “D looking for a bratty S” - this makes it much simpler to find what you’re looking for. 

6. You’re Able to Refine Your Sexual Identity 

Once you’ve been watching porn for a while, you begin to refine your sexual identity - and I don’t just mean figuring out what you do and don’t like. I mean you start to see yourself in a different light. 

Maybe you’re a submissive. 
If you find yourself watching more and more rough sex porn where there is a clear power dynamic at play, and you’re imagining yourself being under someone else’s thumb - you may be a secret submissive. 

Or maybe you have a dominant side. 
If you find power-dynamics sexy because you like the idea of being in charge, of being the boss, of deciding when (and if) your partner is allowed to feel the pleasure you have to offer - you’re definitely a dominant personality in the bedroom. 

If you’re someone who relates to both...
Maybe you’re not picky. Maybe sometimes you want to be put on a leash and walked around the living room...or maybe you dream of strapping someone to a chair and making them beg for the honor to be pleased by you. If that’s the case, you might identify as a switch, someone who can go both ways depending on mood and scenario. 

The point is...
When you find out your sexual identity, your sex life takes on a whole new meaning. 

You find it easier to connect with your partner or, if you’re single, you find it easier to determine which potential partners are better suited for you. 

5. Mastering the Art of Self-Pleasure 

Masturbation looks easy enough but it can take quite a bit of tweaking to get your solo play to the level you truly deserve - and watching porn is bound to help with that. 

Trust me (from experience), this is going to work. 

JOI Porn - Guided Orgasms 
JOI stands for “jerk off instructions” (but ladies, don’t worry, there are tons of instructional porn videos out there for you, too). These are basically guided orgasm tutorials but can also be done with a bit of a dominant perspective from the actor, meaning it’s like your dom is telling you when (and how) you’re allowed to climax. 

It’s super erotic and very, very fun to do when you’re going solo because it adds quite a bit of tension and allows you to express your submissive side without actually having a dominant partner in the room with you.

Withholding Orgasms/Edging Porn 
Along with JOI porn content comes the possibility of edging or orgasm withholding from yourself. This is a fun way to tease yourself, really taking your time to self-pleasure in a way that makes the long buildup and subsequent release of tension (an amazing orgasm) to be unique and powerful. 

Orgasm withholding in porn is a treat to look at, but with JOI porn you can often find a video that’s interactive and lets you be the one begging for sexual release. 

Cam Sex
As I said before, one of the great things about watching porn is that it becomes a less daunting thing. You break the misconceptions around porn when you watch more and more of it, it becomes normalized, something not to be so tense over. 

And because of that, maybe you start to realize you’re interested in more interactive porn - taking it one step further into the land of cam-sex. 

There are plenty of live cam websites (some listed below) where you can interact with live sex workers from the comfort of your own living room. You can tip them to do certain things or you can pay for a private session. 

Some of the more well-known cam-sites include Chaturbate, LiveJasmin and BongaCams. If you’re interested, there is a great breakdown of these (and other) sites in this article.  

4. Not All Porn Is Created Equal 

Not all porn is the same. In fact, once you dive into the world of porn, you’ll start to realize it’s more like a multiverse of erotica content. 

Audio porn, visual porn, written erotica, cam websites, entire platforms that are dedicated to one kind of content...there is a kind of porn out there for everyone, including you!

Audio Porn 
An up-and-coming genre of porn (that I think will skyrocket in the next few years, more than it has already) is audio erotica. Audio porn is exactly what it sounds like: porn that you listen to instead of porn that you watch. 

This is a great alternative for individuals who are new to the porn scene or aren’t really interested in being face to face with gang-bangs, giant penises and hardcore lesbian scenes that are often found on the homepages of most visual porn sites. 

Audio porn sites (right now) are mostly dedicated to women, however, there are some female-for-male audio tracks floating around out there. 

Some of the best audio erotica platforms this year are TryQuinn, Voxxx and AudioDesires. If you’re interested in learning more about audio porn, I’ve done an in-depth research article on it

Written Erotica
Written erotica is another outlet for those less interested in the visual porn scene. Whether you decide to become an erotica writer yourself or have a few select writers you follow over on Literotica, diving into the world of written erotica can be a great way to express your inner desires and bring some fantasies to life. 

3. You Can Explore Super Specific Kinks and Fetishes 

Back to the land of visual porn, you’ll begin to realize that you can search for the most specific things and chances are you will come across some content that matches your preferences. 

Somewhere, out there, on the internet, is a video on the kink or fetish that you’re interested in. All you have to do is a little bit of digging. Porn can be a really helpful educational experience when it comes to kinks you’re unfamiliar with, however, porn should never be used as a total template on how to set a certain scene, especially with more dangerous kinks. 

In porn, things are left out (such as consent talks and safety instructions). That being said, if you’re interested in potentially dangerous kinks, porn is a good way to dip a toe into the waters. 

Wax Play 
Wax play is an oftentimes sensual, erotic type of play that you can do with a partner but can also be accomplished alone, and what better way to dive into it than digging around your favorite porn sites for someone who has created wax play content? Watching something that you’re interested in trying can be a great introduction to it. 

If you’re interested in wax play, check out our Intro to Wax Play podcast with Girl on the Net! 

Fire Play
There is a ton of fire-play porn out there, you just have to know where to look. Fire play is, well, playing with fire, for erotic purposes. This is done very carefully (as you can read in my Hot & Heavy fire-play article) with very specific tools (such as trace paper) to ensure total safety. 

When we’re talking about potentially dangerous kinks, it’s always a good idea to watch it being done (and become very familiar with how it’s done safely) before ever attempting it yourself. 

Consensual Non-Consent 
Consensual non-consent can be a very tricky thing, as it’s essentially recreating forced sexual contact, but in a way in which everyone involved has given their consent beforehand.

It can be potentially triggering to watch, depending on your sexual history, and I don’t recommend searching for it on visual porn websites unless you’re prepared for what you’re going to watch. In this case, I’d recommend doing some reading on the idea of CNC before diving into visual CNC porn. 

If you’re interested in figuring out what consensual non-consent is (and isn’t), I suggest you check out this article

Knife Play 
Knife play (or blood-letting) is another area of kink that can be explored through porn, but as with CNC, it’s best researched, read about and talked about with someone who is experienced before you ever think about attempting it yourself. 

Once you feel ready, searching for these kinds of kinks (knife play, fire play, other dangerous kinks) and becoming familiar with how they are done in a proper setting and scene can be either an outlet for you to experience it without ever having to do it yourself or it can be a stepping stone in the right direction for eventually experiencing it yourself. 

2. Watching With A Partner Is Hot 

Watching porn with your partner might not be the first thing you think of when you think of watching porn...but trust me, you’ll want to give this one a try. 

It might be awkward at first. 
Especially if you haven’t been together for a long time, watching porn with your significant other can be a bit...weird, for lack of a better word. There’s a bit of awkward silence and then all of a sudden you’re watching two (or more) people go at it on your computer screen. 

But then it gets hot. 
But soon enough, things will go from awkward to “I’m pretty into this...are you?” - and trust me, they will be too. Watching porn with someone you have deep sexual chemistry with is an amazing set up for intense foreplay followed by what will likely be really great sex. 

You start to get some naughty ideas. 
Not only does this special Netflix and Chill session turn you on, but it also gives you some ideas on how to please your lover once things get started. A new position to try, a new way to touch them or maybe even a new kink you notice your partner is super into. 

And then it’s time to play. 
Watching porn together as a couple can be a kind of edging play as well - how long can you hold out? How long can you watch another couple do the deed before you start to get a little handsy yourselves? 

And then, finally, it’s time to play - and you’ve got all kinds of naughty ideas on how to get started. 

1. Watching Porn is Fun and Becoming More Normalized in Today’s Society

And lastly...watching porn is just fun. There, I said it. 

There is this strange stereotype of women in particular, that we don’t watch porn, that we don’t enjoy watching porn, that we find porn offensive. And let me use this platform to tell you that is absolutely 100% untrue. 

Many of us love porn. In fact, many of us watch porn on a daily basis. In fact, according to this new article, one in three women watch porn at least once a week. And it’s not just the single ladies, either - half those women stated they were in happy relationships. 

Porn is not for lonely singles. 

Porn is not just for men. 

Porn is not something to be ashamed of, to hide from your partner, to feel bad for watching and enjoying. Porn is here to stay, so we might as well get used to it.